'I just say it how it is'

[alicedj22]

Is it me or is this phrase really really annoying? I seem to be coming across more people lately who use it, often a particular type of loud obnoxious person who thinks their opinion is fact and that they can essentially say what they like. I mean what can you reply to that?

Often heard in the school playground or from middle aged men at my ds rugby and football.

It’s a pretty good marker that if someone says that they’re an utter twat and to give them a wide berth

Code for I'm rude and couldn't give a shit.

As well as arrogant as fuck. How you see it isn’t necessarily how it is.

Totally agree op.

I know a few of those types and they always seem to think that just because "they say how it is" you're obviously a little timid mouse who wouldn't say anything to anyone or stick up for yourself even though you can, just without being an aggressive arsewipe!

I say it like it is = " I am a thoughtless, tactless and likely tedious arsehole with a big mouth, with unpleasant opinions and world view"

It’s often a sign that they know they are going to say insensitive things that might offend. Sometimes caused by people never saying what they actually mean- so they might be reacting against people never getting to the point.Not often caused by this though.

Someone (a stranger) decided to say “send them back” to me last night. Send who back and why? Why did they think this was an acceptable thing to say????? I am sure they would say they were “telling it like it is” though

I generally find it isn't true. 'I say it like it is' usually = 'I'm about to spout some quarter-wit guff I picked up from the darker recesses of YouTube'.

My DM would claim this, but what she really means is this is what the Daily Mail have to told me it is.

Also 'I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking' often attributed to the likes of Piers Morgan...no, no you're really not. Because not every human on the planet has the exact same train of thought.

I would say 'you are saying it how you see it, but I don't agree with you'.

Pretty much all of these types can’t stand the truth being directed back at them. They never want YOU to tell it like it is.

Have also never met anyone who says this who isn’t racist.

Totally agree. Also "I speak as I find" = dick

Yes, I hate it. I usually find people who say this to be the most obnoxious idiots. It really makes me cringe.

And "I say what everyone's thinking". No you don't, you say what YOU are thinking and you are so lacking in empathy and imagination that you think everyone thinks the way you do. They don't.

The strange thing about people who ‘say it like it is’ that when you challenge them and do the same they get disproportionately offended, and then fail to see the irony in their response. I think they’re just generally a bit thick and socially inept

I once had someone I worked with who was always saying 'you're just not listening to me', by which he meant 'why aren't you doing what I want'.

One day I finally snapped and replied 'I am listening, I just don't agree with you.'

I think @MissMogwai has a good response
“I say it how it is”
”Well I speak as I find, and I find you an obnoxious twat”.

Likewise 'to be honest' and then the person spouts a load of porkies

Avoid.
Most of us have grown up enough to show consideration for other people. Acting like a dick isn't something to be proud of.

This, and other phrases, are actually code for something else :

I say it how it is.... = I say whatever I want and don't care who I offend.
I'm not being rude but... = I am being rude, and I don't care.
I'm a bit mad / bonkers.... = I am an utter twat.

John Finnemore has a brilliant sketch on this:

JF: I know, like the other day - my nephew got me to play tennis with him and I was awful
KATE: Oh no!
JF: Yeah, he wiped the floor with me. He’s only twelve
KATE: God, poor you
JF: I know. I mean, I was never brilliant at it, but I used to play every weekend, I was alright.
KATE: I suppose you’re just out of practice
RUDE MAN: Well yeah, and also you’ll have put on a lot of weight.
JF: What?
RUDE MAN: Uh, well, no offence but you are quite fat now. I assume you weren’t when you were playing tennis every week.
JF: Sorry, have we met?
RUDE MAN: No. Oh, sorry, yeah I should have said - I’m the sort of person that likes to speak my mind.
JF: Oh
RUDE MAN: Yes, that’s the thing about me, I’m afraid I don’t really hold with political correctness. I mean, when you think about it, why should I have to filter what I say because someone else might not like my opinions? No, I just call a spade a spade… Oh, Kate’s gone.
JF: Oh, well that’s very, um…refreshing, I suppose.
RUDE MAN: I think so, it’s more honest, isn’t it?
JF: Do you find people sometimes get offended?
RUDE MAN: Well, sometimes, yes, but the way I see it, I speak as I find and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem, really
JF: I agree, actually. You’re quite right
RUDE MAN: I’m glad to hear it. Because I’m that kind of a Marmite person actually, people either love me or hate me.
JF: Yeah, I bet they do. Well, um, if you’ll excuse me…
RUDE MAN: What?
JF: Well I need a wee.
RUDE MAN: Oh right, okay.
JF: Excuse me. (undoes zip) So, how do you come to know-
(splashing sound)
RUDE MAN: What- what are you doing?
JF: Hmm?
RUDE MAN: You said you were going to the loo
JF: No, I didn’t, I said I needed a wee. Oh, sorry, I should have said. I’m the sort of person that just wees on the floor.
RUDE MAN: That’s disgusting!
JF: Yeah, that’s the thing about me. I’m afraid I don’t really hold with going to the loo. I mean, when you think about it, why should I have to go off to a little room because someone might not like my urine? No, I just wee where I stand. It’s more honest, isn’t it?
RUDE MAN: But you’re splashing me!
JF: Yeah, well people do get splashed sometimes, but the way I see it, I urinate where I like, and if other people don’t like it that’s their problem, really.
RUDE MAN: You’re disgusting!
JF: Yeah, well I’m kinda like a Marmite-flavoured toothpaste person - people hate me.

They think it excuses them from being a rude arsehole

People who speak their mind never seem to think anything nice.

@pastaandpesto that is hilarious

But yes ad others have said it an excuse to be racist, sexist, misogynistic or just generally a dick.

Let's face it its never said after anything nice is it.

it's a similar marker as dog owners saying 'my dog doesn't bite'
red flag for rude and inconsiderate people.