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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let 11yr old ds wear a skirt to school.

65 replies

Blimpop · 07/07/2022 21:20

Am I over reacting? We're a pretty open minded family- if my boy wanted to wear a skirt, I'd let him, if it WAS because he really wanted to wear a skirt, but I'm sure it's because he wants to make his mates laugh. Well I'm pretty sure some of the lads will just take the piss and they'll all fall about laughing. I'm not bothered about that bit, I just feel that its a bit of a shitty thing- what if one of the other lads actually did want to wear girls clothes and felt more uncomfortable because my lad has gone in a skirt as a joke and they all laughed about it, then they may never brave it and wear what they wanted. Am I over thinking this, and just leave him to it? Or am I right to stand my ground that it could actually upset some. If he shouldn't - how do I explain.

OP posts:
inmyslippers · 07/07/2022 21:23

It's a tough one. Im a firm believer clothes are clothes and can be worn by anyone. But he's going to be in for a rough time at school. Do you think he's prepared for it?

Hellocatshome · 07/07/2022 21:28

I think at 11 you could probably explain it to him as you have done here. Explain dressing up for a laugh is fine in certain circumstances but that school is not the place to do it as we have to be sensitive to other peoples feelings.

SunscreenCentral · 07/07/2022 21:29

Hellocatshome · 07/07/2022 21:28

I think at 11 you could probably explain it to him as you have done here. Explain dressing up for a laugh is fine in certain circumstances but that school is not the place to do it as we have to be sensitive to other peoples feelings.

This. Simply this.

Bussty · 07/07/2022 21:30

I'd assume this is protest about not being allowed to wear shorts whilst the girls can wear skirts. Happens every summer in every school up and down the country.

Flapjack637 · 07/07/2022 21:33

Yes I think you’re right OP and explain what you have said here. Maybe suggest one of his friends may want to wear a skirt and how would he feel making them feel as though they couldn’t be honest about it as it had been mocked. School is absolutely not the place.

altiara · 07/07/2022 21:41

At my DCs school there is girls uniform and boys uniform so he’d be in trouble for wearing the wrong uniform. Is it different for his school?
(not saying that’s fair, it’s just the rules)

Original poster
Blimpop · 07/07/2022 21:50

I think it's come after a convo at school that that's the uniform and you can chose, skirt trousers or shorts so long as black or grey. No boys or girls specific in rules. So I reckon he's probably said 'oh so boys can wear a skirt' type thing.
I will stand my ground, but explain that's it's not appropriate.

OP posts:
DashOfMilkNoSugar · 07/07/2022 21:51

What does the uniform dress code permit? Your answer is there.

Hankunamatata · 07/07/2022 21:53

Does he wear skirts outside of school? If it's a no then I'd say no for shcool

Original poster
Blimpop · 07/07/2022 21:54

DashOfMilkNoSugar · 07/07/2022 21:51

What does the uniform dress code permit? Your answer is there.

He is allowed to wear a skirt, I just don't believe his motives are appropriate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blimpop · 07/07/2022 21:57

Hankunamatata · 07/07/2022 21:53

Does he wear skirts outside of school? If it's a no then I'd say no for shcool

No he doesn't- and were definitely the sort of family that would be ok if he wanted to wear skirts/dresses or whatever in his free time and I'm confident he knows this.

OP posts:
SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 07/07/2022 21:59

If it was one of those schools where they’re not allowed shorts and it’s only trousers or skirts then I’d say yes, let him wear it, as plenty of boys have done over the last couple of years to make a point about unfair dress codes. However, as he’s allowed to wear shorts then I’d say no, it’s a bit of a daft idea. I guess if he has a sister or can borrow a skirt he’ll soon find out if it’s a terrible idea himself, but if you actually have to buy one then no.

Florrieboo · 07/07/2022 22:01

Does he actually have a skirt to wear?

chilledbubble · 07/07/2022 22:03

Blimpop · 07/07/2022 21:54

He is allowed to wear a skirt, I just don't believe his motives are appropriate.

Show quote history

Then no. He cant dress up in an item society has coded female to take the piss out of it.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/07/2022 22:07

Does he even own a skirt? If he’s willing to use his own money to buy a skirt I would let him as I’d think if he’s willing to pay for it it’s probably important to him. Maybe he’d be doing it to make people laugh, or maybe a part of him actually wants to wear it but is too embarrassed to admit that so is pretending it’s all a joke to hide the fact it’s actually something he wants.

statetrooperstacey · 07/07/2022 22:10

I’m on the fence here , I’ve just been to the parents evening T my dds new secondary school ( starting in September ) they made a point of saying the girls can wear skirts or trousers and so could the boys. Shorts are not allowed for either. I would let him I think, with the caveat that if he’s just doing it to piss about and be disruptive, it’s the first and last time.

Original poster
Blimpop · 07/07/2022 22:14

@MolkosTeenageAngst his sister is willing to lend hers. And she'd let him wear hers any other time, heck I'd buy him skirts - he could wear them at the weekend etc, but has shown no interest. He worn Supergirl costume before, but that's about it . I'm pretty sure his mates have dared him.

OP posts:
usermeme · 07/07/2022 22:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

axolotlfloof · 07/07/2022 22:15

I would let him wear it.
It is permitted in school.
He wants to wear it.
When boys dress as Boy in the Dress for world book day it's usually because they think it will be funny.
A skirt is just clothes.

YourWinter · 07/07/2022 22:18

Depends whether he’s equally keen to wear a skirt out playing, or going into town or to the cinema, or to a pal’s house. If he’s just trying to play class clown, or to entertain his mates in the classroom, then he needs a conversation about his reasons, and the reasons others may have for their choices

llareggub · 07/07/2022 22:21

Why are schools so anti shorts anyway?

Original poster
Blimpop · 07/07/2022 22:22

@llareggub he can wear shorts.

OP posts:
ConfusedParticle · 07/07/2022 22:43

Im not convinced by this, sorry.

bridgetreilly · 07/07/2022 22:45

No, don’t let him. This is not the time or place.

Original poster
Blimpop · 07/07/2022 22:47

What's to be convinced by?

OP posts: