Not to answer door at unknown person at 8.45pm

[anon2334]

Who knocks at this time? It was a lady and looked like she was holding a briefcase but got kids I house asleep and not answering. Do cold callers still knock on doors at this time? Been seeing local posts that people are going around checking who is in but mainly male.

I was wondering that. A murder like that would be all over the news. Murder of a woman by a stranger is national news stuff.

You have the right to not answer the door. It's your house and you don't owe strangers anything.

You have the right to not answer the door. It's your house and you don't owe strangers anything

that’s fighting talk @Imaginary. power to the people! Do you run a group or anything ?

Your door, your right to open it or not, as you like. At whatever time of day or night.

I have a peep hole if I'm in doubt and my front light is pretty bright. But last night - not late, say 7.30, I got the people from the local church knocking. They'd been round a few months ago. I answered but Have to admit I lied and said we were eating dinner.
We occasionally get charity people coming round. I just tell them I give by direct debit.
I'd be more hesitant to answer the door once dark.
My mother lived in an isolated house and a woman banged on her door about midnight screaming a man was after her. My mother would not let her in but said she'd call the police. The woman ran off. A few days later there was a report in the local paper about con artists in the area doing something similar to gain access. Shame that one has to hesitate before helping (it was an unlikely area for her to be in as it wasn't near anything other than other houses and a Jesuit college - there wasn't even a pavement).

@Italiangreyhound oh that’s so…..forceful!

I don’t generally answer the door, even in the day. Our postman is the grumpiest arse alive and I have no interest in having a conversation with him. He knows where to leave stuff. Amazon virtually throw parcels from the van these days and don’t want to talk to me, or my frantically barking dogs. I’m broke anyway, so I hardly order anything. I live on a close, and literally no one is passing for any reason, ever, with the possible exception of a couple of dog walkers.

At 8.45, there is no one I want to talk to. No one. All my neighbours have my number and would text. None are elderly. It’s nothing to do with feeling safe, but feeling settled down. I think it might be a bit generational. Anyway, it’s my bloody door; and if I don’t want to open it, I don’t need a reason. The landline is the same. It’s only EVER cold callers. I think I’m going to cancel it. I only had it so the kid could 999 if anything happened to me, but she has a mobile now.

@easyday a peep hole? As In people watch you have sex through it?

Probably about as believable at your mothers story I guess

So weird not answering the door. How do you ever get deliveries, or post?

If you are scared of answering the door, what about an old fashioned chain, or a ring doorbell (which can be answered remotely so they don't even know if you are home)

@saraclara There were 177 female homicides between April 2020 & March 2022. 58 of them were by an unknown suspect. They weren't all reported on, not all murder cases are remarkable enough for the media to pick up a story unfortunately so I could be entirely possible you haven't heard about it.

@Joyfultoes is there something wrong with you? You're being a quite odd.

@est1899 a quite odd what?

One of these. They're pretty normal. When I had my new front door fitted, the company included one as standard.

Oh dear, you're really trying too hard to be funny. It's not working. If you're going to attempt to be a smart arse and pick up on a small spelling error I can do the same to you.

'Probably about as believable at your mothers story I guess'

Besides the point but - Do security screen doors not exist in the UK?
I don't think I've ever not answered the front door. I mean I presume someone is knocking for a reason. If that is an annoying reason I say "No thanks , not interested". If it's the neighbour telling me my horse has knocked his fence down ( before 6 in the morning) I say" thank you so much".
It's not very hard.
And I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure most people who are going to murder you in your bed don't knock on your door and let you know they are coming in first as a courtesy.

"Exactly. It really fucking pisses me off the way women are royally mocked and derided on here for having the TEMERITY to not want to answer the door. If you're not expecting anyone, what the fuck is wrong with not wanting to answer?"

Tbf people are only responding that way to op because she stood up for her right to ignore the door but then immediately posted asking Internet strangers who it could have been. If you want to know who is at your door there is an age-old solution to that question.

@Kerrrmieee

Thank you very much. ❤️
The window was supposed to be repaired today. Still broken. I looked closer - it’s bent from the top. >chills<

You don't HAVE to answer the door, or the phone, or whatever..

But then to come and ask us who it might be.. how do we know?

I don't often answer if I am here by myself because I'll have to get my chair out the room, get the dogs back IN the room, shut the door (it opens the wrong way for me so thats a faff), then point the right way down the hall..

Then I have to get to the door which is a tight fit, and back up super slow again to actually open it, by which time most folk have fucked off thinking no ones home.

It can be done, but I'll usually only bother if I am expecting a parcel I really don't want stolen from the porch.

However I don't get so worked up about who it was or why and need to post here, if they wanted me, they'll come back or they'd leave a note.

Random callers of late have been:

Parcel for next door
Police asking if someone of X name lives here - no they don't (they were trying to inform someone of a death :( )
Pizza/McDonalds/Kebab for same number, one street over.
Bloke asking if he can have the fishtank in our front garden (yes mate, thats why its there).
Someone asking if the dead cat outside is mine (nope :( )

Gripping stuff eh. Just think what you could be missing.

If it really bothers you, get a ring doorbell and answer without opening the door?

I don't answer the door at that time but I'm in a block of flats & have a buzzer & phone, I turn my buzzer off after 7.00pm as I'm a woman on my own.

YANBU. It's completely up to people in the house if they answer the door or not, the exception being if it's law enforcement. So many weirdos on MN (this is a topic that comes up frequently) get so excited about policing strangers' door answering behaviour. Part of the "everyone is (or should be) exactly like me and I can't imagine any other circumstances" bias, mostly. If someone knocks on a door without preamble, they're always taking a chance that no one's home, no one's able to come to the door, etc. (I suppose it's possible someone was shot on your lawn and will bleed to death if you don't answer the door, but you probably already have a good idea if that happens a lot where you live or not.)

If it was the Police or another emergency service I am sure they would shout out who they were. YANBU as with mobile phones, a relative or friend would phone in advance.

Completely true. And I've just now remembered when I got a knock on at about 11pm one night.

My friend lived over the road and we both worked nights so we quite often used to sit up into the small hours on nights off and I was expecting her. I shouted her to come in and a man opened the door and started asking for his ex girlfriend who rented the house previously.

He'd just got out of prison, been got a bevvie and needed somewhere to sleep. He didn't initially believe me that she didn't live there anymore.

The bailiffs came looking for her too a few times. I started locking the door 😂