Not to answer door at unknown person at 8.45pm

[anon2334]

Who knocks at this time? It was a lady and looked like she was holding a briefcase but got kids I house asleep and not answering. Do cold callers still knock on doors at this time? Been seeing local posts that people are going around checking who is in but mainly male.

At 8:45 it was still bright and sunny here. So why is it any different from opening the door at noon? To be honest I'd be more likely to open it at an odd time, as I'd assume something urgent.

Does no-one have chains on their doors any more so they can open them and see who's there, safely?

When I was a slip of a 20 something I was up late with a friend and the door was knocked. It was after midnight, can’t remember exactly - early hours anyway. We were nervous but did answer. It was a young woman who had run away from someone who had given her a lift then stopped and tried to rape her. Ours was the first light on.
answering the door isn’t just about whether it’s in your own interests. Sometimes it helps someone else. I’ll always be glad I answered that door knock.

Have none of you heard of door chains? 🤔

Helplessness? Haha. It's a simple decision.

I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here...

I couldn't even be arsed to get my washing in this evening 🤣

(Actually I just forgot until now)

Wow really? Umm....I've just joined the horses of mumsnetters who don't open their doors, I think!!😶

I suspect this back fired on the op who will have known people on here have an odd aversion to opening their door. But this is broad daylight time. I think she took it too far. 😂

I don’t just casually open the door at any time of day without checking who is there.

I thought this was just a basic security measure. I live in a ‘safe’ London area. I know of one woman who was murdered after answering her door to a stranger and another who then robbed etc. That was a nice area of west London.

I would just always check before opening..

Haven’t RTFT but today we’ve had

Amazon deliveries x 3
the postman
Green Thumb saying they’d done a lawn treatment
ds’s mate
dd’s boyfriend
Ocado delivery
a Boots delivery

so that’s 9 times the door has gone today

what is it with mumsnetters not answering the door?!

I’d open my door at almost 9pm for many reasons:

1. I live in a place you’d only find yourself if you lived there because it isn’t near anywhere else and we don’t get chuggers or Jehovah’s Witnesses canvassing us.
2. Following on from #1, my neighbours are all either very elderly or have very small children so I would assume someone nearby might need help.
3. I am nosy.
4. My dog wouldn’t stop telling me we had a visitor until he’d seen for himself who the visitor was.
5. I am not strange so opening the door is a perfectly normal thing to do.

I wouldn't answer the door after 8.30pm if I was home alone with the kids for three reasons:

1. I live in a rough area and we regularly get odd people knocking asking for people who don't live here / offering to do odd jobs / asking for money etc. So I'd be worried they'd force the door and get inside

1. I used to answer the door late at night and once had a really pushy chuggar knock at 9.40 and another time had a local gov candidate knock canvassing for votes after 9pm. Both tried to put foot in the doorway and wouldn't shut up.

1. I can't be arsed with the hassle. If someone needs me then they can shout through the letterbox. If a stranger needed my help there's little I could or would be prepared to do with sleeping kids/babies in the house. I wouldn't risk their safety by letting anyone in and couldn't leave. We're five minutes from local shops and fire station and 15 mins from police station if they needed anyone

I don't understand why some on here are so dismissive about women making their own decision as to whether you open your own front door to a stranger or not.
If your instinct tells you not to open it, if you don't feel comfortable, or you simply don't feel like engaging, it's perfectly OK to ignore the knocking on the door .

Just answer the bloody door. What’s the big deal?

It takes 1 min, and isn’t even dark at that time atm.

@FindingMeno oh they just can't possibly fathom why a woman, wouldn't want to open the door to, let's face it, mostly strange men. What have we possibly got to worry about? Or why don't we just get those marvellously strong security chains that can't possibly be ripped off during a forced entry.

I image all the posters here think she wouldn't have been murdered if only she had a door chain.

How bizarrely aggressive and rude you sound. And weirdly angry. The OP doesn't have to answer the door if she doesn't want to ...

I often don't answer it unless I am expecting someone, because A) I work from home and am often in the middle of something when they door goes, and B) a couple of neighbours have this idea in their head that because I am IN during the day, that I will take their packages in for them, (if they're out, or asleep and not arsed to answer the door.) They even give a message to the courier to deliver to mine without even asking! If I don't answer, they can't drop it with me!

I don't HAVE to answer the door, and no amount of sarcy comments from butthurt mumsnetters (who have clearly had people not answering the door to them - I wonder why? ) will make me answer the door if I don't want to, so bore off with the snarky comments. If someone doesn't want to answer the door, that's their prerogative. Why do some people on here get so butthurt about it?

@anon2334 YANBU. I wouldn't answer the door to some random at almost 9pm either, and IDGAF what anyone thinks about it. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, and neither do you.

Oooh good.

It's been a while since we had a MN to open or not to open debate

Exactly. It really fucking pisses me off the way women are royally mocked and derided on here for having the TEMERITY to not want to answer the door. If you're not expecting anyone, what the fuck is wrong with not wanting to answer? As as been said, it will very likely be cold calling, surveys, charity muggers, scammers, or a courier trying to dump someone else's shit on you because they CBA to answer the door. There's fuck-all wrong with not wanting to answer the door. Like I said, some posters are weirdly butthurt by it. Clearly had people not answering to them when they've decided to 'pop in' to see someone.

I voted YABU just because you didn't answer the door but you're really curious about who it could have been. I don't always answer my door (doing yoga, dying hair, face pack on etc) and I don't give a toss who it was. If it's important they'll come back or text me if they know me.

I'll just add, many years ago we had a knock on the door one dark winter's evening. Opened the door to find a family of four stood there with suitcases. They thought we were the guesthouse they'd booked. They didn't speak much English, so it was a bit of an issue to stop them coming in and direct them down the street to the actual guesthouse (which had a huge illuminated sign).

Was it Mary Poppins?

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps oh my gosh. I hadn’t realised why I got so angry at these threads. But, yes, it’s totally because I am always knocking on strangers doors at the godawful hour of 8:45 and then feeling ‘butt hurt’ whatever that means when they don’t answer.

any more wisdom?

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps you’ve used the phrase *butt-hurt’ at least 4 times here. What’s that about? Are you twelve?

Typically if I'm not expecting someone and the door goes, I peek out of a window and see who it is, but we've just got a ring doorbell installed so I can just check that now.

I thought this was just a basic security measure. I live in a ‘safe’ London area. I know of one woman who was murdered after answering her door to a stranger and another who then robbed etc. That was a nice area of west London

who?

I wouldn't. But I live alone somewhere relatively remote.

Unless I was expecting someone, I wouldn't answer for safety reasons.

But what if it’s a werewolf? They don’t tend to wait for an invite.