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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to discount a childminder because she has a dog?

71 replies

Sidge · 16/01/2008 21:29

Went to meet a potential new CM - she was very nice, very capable, good references etc, but I am hesitant to proceed as she has a dog.

I don't mind dogs but am not a doggy person, and am reluctant to leave my 16 month old with a CM who has one.

I asked if the dog was left alone with the children, and was told that it wasn't but find that hard to believe as I don't think she would put the dog out every time she went to the loo or the kitchen.

So am I being unreasonable? (By the way this is my 3rd child so not PFB!)

OP posts:

MaureenMLove · 16/01/2008 22:55

I remember seeing an episode of City Hospital once, where a lady who had bred dogs for 20 years was having re-contructive surgery on her leg, because one of her beloved dogs had turned on her. She said, 'he's always been so lovely!' All it took was for the dog to be in a bad mood and she just happened to step on his tale or something and it turned on her! I know its probably totally a one off, but personally, I just don't see the point of the risk. Whether its my dd or my mindees, I wouldn't just not risk it.

Come to me, I don't have ANY pets. I do children not pets!

Viggoswife · 16/01/2008 22:56

I have a dog and I have had dogs all my life but I would not leave my child with someone who had one. You just never know. YANBU

Kewcumber · 16/01/2008 23:02

I chose mine partly because she had two dogs and three cats! Mind you one is the softest shitzu you're ever come across in your life and the other (now sadly deceased) was the fattest labrador/walrus I have even seen. My (then) 15 month old could have outcrawled him. Was more concerned about the dogs.

She has since replaced the old lab with a lab puppy who is always crated in the house unless she is closely supervising and is supervised properly outside the house.

DS loves it.

But as I'm sure everyone has said - it really doesn;t matter if you are being unreasonable or not - why would you chose a CM who made you uncomfortable for whatever reason?

maximummummy · 16/01/2008 23:04

i'm a childminder and i have a dog - all my mindees LOVE her - two of them were very nervous of dogs when they first came but are now no longer scared of dogs - if OFSTED didn't think my dog was ok around kids they wouldn't have registered me -

obviously i would never leave a toddler alone with my dog,if i need to go to the loo i either put her out in the garden or shut her in the front room - it becomes second nature to do that - same as shuting the stairgate

Chequers · 17/01/2008 09:42

Message withdrawn

saltire · 17/01/2008 09:49

I was/am/trying to be a childminder. i ahd 2 dogs, Border Collies. They were never in the room with the mindees, even if I was in teh room. Every day we wen tfor wlaks with the dogs and the mindees loved it - all of my mindees aprents ended up with dogs as well. it was clearly written in policies - which all Cms msut have - how I dealt with the dogs, made sure their bowls weren't lying around, no mess in garden etc.
however, if you feel uncomfortable in any way then look for another CM

GoodGollyMissMolly · 17/01/2008 09:56

YANBU at all. As others have said you need to be able to leave your DC there with no worries.

I am a dog person, I have two dogs of my own, but I doubt that I would leave my DD with a CM with a dog (or cat for that matter, but I don't like cats) as I don't know the temprement of the dog. I know the temprements of my dogs but they NEVER get left alone with DD. We have a room divider so I shut them away on one side of the room if I need to leave the room for what ever reason.

If it worries you enough to start a thread about it I would look for an alternative CM.

MrsPuddleduck · 17/01/2008 09:56

My CM has a lovely dog. She keeps her in the kitchen with a baby gate but the dog roams around the house as I have stroked her when I've been to collect.

DS2 loves the dog and as we don't have one at home I think it is a positive thing. (She also has 2 mad cats and 2 chickens). He is not phased by them at all.

I have seen all of the animals and her house is always spotless clean and does not smell of pets.

DS1 however will not go into the house at all as he is terrified of dogs ( for no reason at all). Hopefully DS2 wont have the same problem.

crace · 17/01/2008 09:58

I am quite surprised by all this. Everyone who has come to see me or phoned to come see me has never had an issue with the dogs. Most see it as a positive. However, I have 2 collies as well and they are never with the children in the house.

I would just find another c/m but I wouldn't discount because she has a dog. I'd ask what her policies and procedures are regarding her animals.

bethoo · 17/01/2008 10:09

when is started back at work i managed to get a cm, it is hard where i live esp as do nto drive and not being local would be more expense. on the first day i took my 6 month old there she suddenly had a giant 8 month old Old English Sheepdog. i myself had two boxers but this dog being bouncy and a puppy would not even sit on caommand. my cm was looking after it for a friend. this dog was on the buggy with my baby still in it when i gotthrough the door. and itwas jusmoingall over me! i got fed up just wishing that she had put it away before i came. if i have visitors i put my two in the kitchen, not becasue they are aggressive (far from) but becasue they are excitable. my baby loves them adn clambers all over them but they are supervised. luckily the dog went after several months. do nto get me wrong i love dogs but like many people have said yuo do not know the temprement of other dogs!

maximummummy · 17/01/2008 10:12

i'd agree with what others say here -
if you are uncomfortable in ANY way with a childminder DO NOT use them - there are plenty to choose from(in my area anyway toooo many!)

I'd also say that your baby/child will pick up on your insecurities and you may well end up making your child scared of dogs

Ineedacleaner · 17/01/2008 10:37

I found this quite interesting actually because I have a similar dilema but not a CM my MIL. I don't feel comfortable letting the children be at hers when I am not there because MIL is very naive to the possibility of a dog turning. Rare yes but still happens. She had an old collie that really needed to be put down by this stage, she was old and helath failing fast. She had bitten MIL, gone for the otehr dogs and my BIL yet she could not see why I wanted that dog out the room whenveer dd who was a toddler at the time was there. I was concerned that dd roaming the room may accidentally hurt or frighten the dog but she could just not see this so until the dog went dd never went to hers without me or dh. SHe still has 2 dogs and I KNOW that she will tell me one thing then do the other and MIL or nit I just don't think it is worth the risk.

My concern would not be so much the dog but whether the cm really put the dog out everytime she answered the phone, went to the loo.
There are responsible cm's who are dog owners and who do take the utmost care but if you are at all in doubt then YANBU to want to choose another CM.

anynamewilldo · 17/01/2008 12:04

I have a dog, and she has free run of the house (she is 10yrs old) and we have had her since the day she was born, my poor dog has been trodden on, had her ears pulled...etc and has a fantastic nature, never growled/barked or snapped at dc's if she is fed up with dc's she tends to go to her bed and lie down or go into the middle room and sleep on the chair. Our dog is left in the same room as the children (we have 4dc's, 9yr, 7yrs, 4yrs, and baby 10mth) and always has been, if anyone comes to the house and is wary of dogs i do lock her out by the front door. TBH i would trust my dog more to look after my dc's than my mil.

I will be looking for a cm for when i go back to work (just about to go onto maternity leave) after having dc5. I would not discount a cm just because she had a dog.

Original poster

Sidge · 17/01/2008 13:53

See this is the thing, I am not scared of dogs, I grew up with dogs and know how to behave around them, but I'm not 16 months old. To me toddlers are unpredictable, dogs are unpredictable, so putting the two together is a potential problem.

And I find it hard it hard to believe that she puts the dog out every time she leaves the room.

I guess it means I need to keep looking.

OP posts:

TodayToday · 17/01/2008 14:01

I use a cm who has two dogs but the dogs are kept in the conservatory with the use of a stairgate. They are walked in the morning and as soon as all mindees have gone home. The only time the dogs were walked with my DD present, the cm asked my permission first. The garden is divided up so that there is a separate fenced off area where the children play. The dogs are never allowed in there even at the weekends.

My cm takes it very seriously and that helped to give me confidence in using her despite the dogs. I would not use a cm who had not taken visible precautions to keep the dogs separate from the children.

Onlyaphase · 17/01/2008 14:14

I've got two labradors and they are excellent with 15month old DD, but I do watch them carefully at all times. I wouldn't let DD crawl over someone else's dog, nor would I let my dogs loose in the house if someone else brought their child around.

I think the age of your child is very important. At 16 months they are likely to be fascinated by any dog and follow it round and try and get into the room/garden it is kept in. Not fair on any dog really. And yoru child is too young to understand about dogs and how to behave around them. If your child was older - 4 upwards - I would see a CM with a dog as a positive thing.

cmotdibbler · 17/01/2008 16:22

SIL is a CM and has a lab puppy. She apparently keeps it crated (in kitchen) / in the garden when the mindees are there. However when we have been there it has growled and barked aggressively at DS who although 19 months is very dog aware, and at the time was just watching it in the crate from a couple of metres away. He was totally terrified, and I didn't think that it was a good sign.
As others have said, you need to have total confidence in your CM, and if you didn't get good vibes, you need to keep looking.

Mand81979 · 27/05/2008 00:42

Sidge,

I totally understand it must be frightening, I too am a childminder with dogs. My customers like the idea, but my dogs are the Spaniel toy breed, the parents of the older kids like it because their kids don't ask for a pet anymore and the parents of younger kids/babies like it because they learn how to be around animals and learn responsiblity. However dispite my having 2 dogs I am scared of dogs I don't know, because I was badly bitten years ago. However my dogs are only here for a 1-2 hours a day as they go to work with my husband and they are never with the children unsupervised more for their sake than the children. If I need to go anywhere the dogs come too, or they go in the garden or occassionally hide in their bed and I close the door.

If you are scared of dogs then your right it wouldnt work out however you may find this tip useful.

Ask yourself did the CM have full control of the dog, i.e. did the dog do everything she asked and straight away, did the dog get excited or nervous?

A well balanced dog should show no interest in the children, loud noises etc. The dog should follow the owner on a walk (NOT the other way round), the dogs tail and head should be level with his body (NOT pointing to the sky or the floor).

When on walks I teach my kids DO NOT look, touch, or obtain eye contact with an animal you don't know. Even if a dog rolls over or the owner says he/she is fine.

madamez · 27/05/2008 00:50

Well I wouldn't do it but then I am allergic to dogs so would not want DS coming home smelling of dogs, with dog hair on him - and DS doesn't like dogs.

bluewolf · 27/05/2008 00:53

how can you then say a dog is safe? if you can't look it in the eye or make any sudden movements surely it is a time bomb (or death-trap, depending on breed) waiting to go off??

wigparty · 27/05/2008 00:54

Hi Sidge, for my two pence worth: I think YANBU to decide against this CM if you're not 100% comfortable about it. But I do feel compelled to say that a Staff would probably be far less likely to cause any kind of agro with a child than a small terrier, for example.

I'm a Staff owner, and the tale (no pun intended!) that they are the nanny dogs is true, they're amazing with kids.

This doesn't change the fact though that if you don't know the dog, you've every right to feel concerned.

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