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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to discount a childminder because she has a dog?

71 replies

Sidge · 16/01/2008 21:29

Went to meet a potential new CM - she was very nice, very capable, good references etc, but I am hesitant to proceed as she has a dog.

I don't mind dogs but am not a doggy person, and am reluctant to leave my 16 month old with a CM who has one.

I asked if the dog was left alone with the children, and was told that it wasn't but find that hard to believe as I don't think she would put the dog out every time she went to the loo or the kitchen.

So am I being unreasonable? (By the way this is my 3rd child so not PFB!)

OP posts:
Vacua · 16/01/2008 21:59

totally agree that ANY dog is a potential danger to children, particularly if child has not been socialised with them and does not know how to read/respond to dog's body language. am sure my lovely spaniel would snap under provocation or if in pain or something. it's always a possibility isn't it?

suppose am a bit reluctant to blame/feel uneasy about specific breeds, it's sad when all get tarred with the same brush because the owners of a few have behaved irresponsibly

handlemecarefully · 16/01/2008 22:00

odd recommendation from a vet imo.

If my titchy little daschund / jr cross was to turn nasty and bite my 3 year old (I really can't ever see it happening, but technically can't rule it out I reluctantly concede) - she could give my lo's nasty bites, but I doubt she could rip their faces off.

A staffie could though (even if the risk of attack is - arguably - small)

Incidentally vacua - I reviewed my previous post and I realised that I sound a bit arsey, so sorry about that!

spicemonster · 16/01/2008 22:00

I wouldn't leave my child with a dog I didn't know well, even if there was an adult around so YANBU IMO.

alfiesbabe · 16/01/2008 22:01

Agree with JingleyJen. This is your child, and you need to be totally comfortable with the care you choose. I wouldnt have employed a CM with a dog when my children were babies/toddlers. No way. Just too many unknowns. having said that, when my ds started school at 4, and needed a CM before and after school, I did opt for one who had a labrador. DS adored dogs, and we knew we'd never get one as a family pet due to work commitments, so it seemed a good compromise.

hatwoman · 16/01/2008 22:02

for me it would depend on whether I felt she was good dog owner or not. not all dog owners are doggy. some really don;t appreciate the dog's needs and/or don't train them properly (which is, in itself a need) - and a dog who's needs aren't fully and properly met and who's owner doesn;t appreciate that is not one I would like to have round children. it would also depend on the breed. to an extent. and often the two things go hand in hand. a good dog owner will have chosen a breed well-suited to its environment. (like tc's lab-owning cm - sounds lovely)

the problem for you - as a non-doggy person - is that you would probably find it hard to work out whether this cm is a good dog owner or not. if you're really taken with her but you can't properly suss the dog situation is there someone doggy you could take with you to meet her and the dog and give you their opinion?

LazyLinePainterJane · 16/01/2008 22:02

YANBU. I have a dog but would not leave DS with a doggified childminder. It is one thing to want them brought up around animals but some rabbits and gpigs are not the same as an unpredictable dog.

FWIW, someone I know has your dilemma and sent their child after being told that the dog was kept in the conservatory. Yet, every time she went round, the dog was loose in the house.

Vacua · 16/01/2008 22:03

is ok, am thick-skinned and not passionately fond of the breed or anything. I would feel happier personally if it was a more attractive dog, like a chocolatey pointer or a fluffy mountain dog

2shoes · 16/01/2008 22:05

yanbu I like dogs(staffs) but wouldn't be keen even if the dog is a rug. all those hairs and yucky stuff dogs leave about.

moljam · 16/01/2008 22:07

our cm has 2 dogs and it is big selling point to me.we dont have dog as dh doesnt like them so atleast ds gets to see his 2 doggy friends at cms!(they also have lizards!ds loves them!)

but i dont think yabu,if you are not comfortable with it then you shouldnt do it,simple as that.

Fireflyfairy2 · 16/01/2008 22:08

My c/minder got a dog after I had been using her for a year. She didn't tell me she was getting one, or asked if I minded... she is a springer spaniel, lovely wee thing, great with the kids.

My sister is a childminder & is currently full.. she has a king charles & all the kids love him!!

So I wouldn't rule out a childminder on that point alone.

Fireflyfairy2 · 16/01/2008 22:10

Meant to say, the childminder's dog is an outside dog, he wanders about the yard & if ds or the other mindee is going outside, either the childminder is there too, or the dog is put in her house.

My sister's dog is a house dog though, but she mostly sleeps in her bed under the stairs, away from the rooms & the corridor the mindees use

cottonflee · 16/01/2008 22:12

YABU IMO, I have dogs, and have NEVER left my kids and the dogs in the same room ever, If I wanted a wee (my kids are 8 and 13) I put the dog in the garden and locked the door.
The lady has passed all her references, she is not stupid her reputation is key to her, she will not risk her licence (is that what it is called) for the sake of a dog. She will take all precautions or else she will have no clients.

unknownrebelbang · 16/01/2008 22:13

If you're not happy with the fact that she's got a dog, then that's that.

FWIW, my childminder did have a dog and I didn't have a problem with it. DS2 and DS3 loved it and had no problem, but if it's a problem for you then YANBU.

cottonflee · 16/01/2008 22:14

sorry, I ment my kids are older know, but until know really, If I wanted a wee, I put my dog in the yard.

lucyellensmum · 16/01/2008 22:26

i dont think i would be happy to leave my DD with a CM that had a dog, i love dogs, i have one, i used to own two rotweillers, so i am very much a doggy person. BUT i wouldnt trust my dog, who i trust implicitly (sp) with my DD with another child, as i just don't KNOW how he would be around other children.

My BIL was bitten in the face as a child by his friends dog because he was playing with the child and the dog was being protective, so that could be an issue.

I think staffies are great dogs, and they ADORE children. However, with a 16M old baby, it doesnt matter how lovely the dog is, he is going to knock the child over!! Staffs are nutty

sleepycat · 16/01/2008 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flibbertyjibbet · 16/01/2008 22:34

YA most certainly NBU.
We don't book holiday accomodation if the details specify pets allowed. Other people keeping dogs is fine but I wouldn't want my child to come home smelling of dog and covered in dog hairs... it would upset our cat
Our inlaws have a 1/4 pitbull 1/4 jack russell 50% god knows what. They can't understand that we won't have it in our house or near our boys.
Agree with RavenK about the separation, but then the latest child to be killed by a dog was completely separated - it was another of the children that let the baby near the dog while the carer (ok a 16 year old in this case) was out of the room!

Boppityboo · 16/01/2008 22:39

My childminder has three Yorkies and one has just had three puppies - so that's six in her house at the mo! I am not a doggy person at all and was very apprehensive when she first got the dogs. However, I am so glad now that my children have had this contact with dogs. They both love them and are completely confident with them. This would not have been the case if they'd had only me as a role model. CM is very careful and dogs are situated in a different room to the children for the majority of the time.

kslatts · 16/01/2008 22:41

I think you need to be 100% comfortable leaving you child with a childminder and if you are not happy about her having a dog you should look for someone else. I would consider a childminder with a dog, but I can understand why some people wouldn't. My mum is a cm and when people phone to make enquiries often one of the first questions they ask is whether she has any pets, I guess some parents would see it as an advantage and some would see it as a disadvantage for their cm to have a dog.

Milliways · 16/01/2008 22:41

We had a CM whos dog was NOT allowed in the house until all mindees gone home. He had the garage & utility room, which was locked so kids could not get in.

MaureenMLove · 16/01/2008 22:41

I would. I just don't feel confortable with the mix of children and dogs, no matter how much someone says, 'Oh, they're fine, they love children.'

I'm a childminder btw!

NorthernLurker · 16/01/2008 22:47

YANBU in my opinion - I wouldn't go for this either. There will be other good childminders.

smeeinit · 16/01/2008 22:48

most importantly you need to be 100% comfortable with whoever you choose to care for your child,so if for whatever reason you dont feel comfortable then look for someone else.

personally i see a CM with a dog a positive thing. teaches children respect and care for animals.there are far too many children already who are afraid of dogs because their parents have made them so.

Original poster
Sidge · 16/01/2008 22:49

Thanks for all of your comments, it's interesting to see what others think.

I thought maybe I was being a bit precious but I suppose if I am not comfortable with the idea of her being with the dog then it wouldn't work out.

Maureen - that's another thing, the CM said about the dog "oh she's fine, she loves children, she's been with ours since they were babies" but I have to remember that MY daughter hasn't been around dogs, so isn't used to them. I know she could get used to them but I don't want to risk her getting snapped at whilst she learns how to behave around a dog.

OP posts:
smartiejake · 16/01/2008 22:54

I love dogs but once when dd1 was little she was looked after by a childminder when the regular one was on holiday. She had a lovely black lab ( fab with kids BTW)but when I collected dd I noticed she was COVERED in black dog hairs (including some stuck on the sticky bits of her clothes and face EEEWWWW!)

However we have always had dogs and think they can be a good thing for kids to get used to. I'm sure a dog with lots of kids around all the time is used to them but the CM would have to be totally vigilant about making sure dog and kids are never left alone together.