Girls-signs of autism?

[Hitthedrummergetwicked]

What age did you notice any signs and what were they?

Following. My daughter is 5 and I have my suspicions.

Watching with interest

8
terrible sleep, losing her temper after coming out of school most days, huge anxiety about going into school, inability to organise herself. Diagnosed at 10.5.

DD2 was referred for assessment by the heath visitor at her 2 year check and diagnosed age 4

DD1 fell apart in lockdown and was diagnosed age 13

I realised I was showing signs and hadn't realised as we went through assessment with DD1. I was diagnosed age 34.

DD2 was diagnosed on NHS, DD1 and myself were private assessments.

Age 5-6 I knew, not assessed on the spectrum until age 10 after pushing and ended up with private diagnosis. We didn’t need the diagnosis but trying to get any form of adjustments and support at school it felt like we needed it to be listened to.
Good books for the viewpoint of girls aged 9-10-11 is Ways to be me by Libby Scott & the 2 follow on books, for a younger girl The secret life of Rose - inside an autistic head by Rose Smitten.

I noticed she couldn't tolerate seams in underwear, or labels in clothes so everything had to be seam free (nightmare!) and labels had to be carefully removed. Clearly more comfortable with adults than children her own age. she seemed to have no filter about saying things i.e. about other people's appearance.
later on, she had to wear very baggy clothing and would wear things until they were literally ragged and it was very hard to part her from clothing that she felt comfortable in.
Developed anxiety about being sick and of seeing others be sick.
Would watch favourite films or programmes over and over and could repeat entire scripts (School of Rock is one memorable one)
Made friends with others who were similarly a bit 'out there' and they wouldn't play together but rather played alone but alongside each other.

would eat the same limited range of food for months and months (white foods a favourite) and then suddenly didn't eat it any more and would go onto something else.
there were loads when I looked back and was asked the right questions.

Getting listened to as a parent to get a girl assessed it’s hard! I’ve read the average age for girls is 10, boys is much younger. My nephew was diagnosed aged 4, as he was more physical & external in his behaviour at school whereas my DD kept it all inside until she left the school gates.

Needy poor sleeping baby
Separation anxiety
Difficulty settling at school
Frustrated with homework
Always felt like the 'third wheel' in friendship groups
Anxiety/depression as a teenager
Diagnosed at 15

@usernamenotaccepted you have just described my daughter 😐 a little less so with labels etc but it’s still a bit of an issue and she hates parting with clothes. She is terrified of being sick and seeing others sick. Limited foods etc. very highly anxious about school friendships - had a complete meltdown when two school friends came over to play recently.

DD just been diagnosed at 16.

realised she was a bit different when she was in primary school - but was just told she “struggled to control her emotions”.
became more anxious during high school, had a breakdown in lockdown .. now working with CAMHS

Isn't that many people's story though rather than specific autism symptoms?

Waiting for a diagnosis - she’s 9. She’s always been ‘quirky’ and I had suspicions but now she’s getting towards secondary school age I want her assessed so she can have support in place, the specialist teacher who referred her said that often girls mask until their teens and then suddenly become very anxious and struggle.
Signs for us were meltdowns when things don’t happen as she wants/expects, no consideration of others feelings when she says things that might be hurtful, flapping, a need for everything to be planned in minute detail, a need to always be right and have the last word, a very strong attachment to seemingly random objects (she’s a hoarder, I am not allowed to throw away old socks for example) and issues around food. She also seems to relate very strongly to other children with ASD and she has obsessive interests (Pokémon at the moment).

Well my dd was diagnosed age two so probably not useful to you but here goes. Age four months, smiled rarely and only once during an hour photoshoot and only at a Tigger toy and not at any of the adults trying to coax a smile.
Age 8 months at the health clinic check dd sat in the pram silent not smiling or moving (she was often mistaken for a doll) whilst I watched the other babies the same age interacting with their mums, grabbing toys, indicating they wanted a drink etc
Age 11 months her first words were where? (because I was trying to encourage her to point) hair (only the specific hair on a specific fimble toy) and square (you could show her all sorts of shapes but she would only say square when it was a square so could obviously identify a square.
Age twelve months had a period of four days making a strange noise, GP saw her, she had no rash no temperature and no sign of infection thought she might have found her voice, maybe teething but when the noise stopped she had lost all her skills she could no longer smile, laugh, wave, clap took her back to GP who made referral to paediatrician.
It would be more than six months before she made another sound. After chromosome checks and checks for metabolic disorders she had a multidisciplinary assessment and got a diagnosis the week of her second birthday.

This could be my daughter, she's 16 and beeb on the waiting list for assessment for over a year now.

Diagnosis going on now, definitely leaning that way. Always has had trouble dealing with her anger. It's only got worse, rather than better. Often said very inappropriate things, but it always seemed to be joking, so only looking back we have spotted she's learned to appear ironic or sarcastic to deflect attention to voicing her actual opinion, obviously as she's got older it's lost ots "cute things kids say" and its just rude or hurtful. She's flitted from obsession to obsession since about 10 years of age (15 now). Friendship wise she makes friends with relative ease but increasingly can't get close emotionally. Every friend to date has drifted away from her as a result of that and that unfiltered thing. She's always struggled with personal care, and executive function. She started to really come unstuck in secondary school. Lockdown was easy in terms of the sensory side but hell for the lack of structure to the school day.

My 13 year old was diagnosed in year 4 of primary. She was always fussy, didn't speak until year 1. She goes full on special interests, at the moment obscure Japanese drum games :) She needs clothes without seams and labels, bras are a nightmare and can't cope with lots of foods and textures. She is a gorgeous, bright girl but finds school incredibly stressful and she has social anxiety and self harms.

So as a dx'd girl at three she was catching up on her peers quickly. She learned to speak through echolalia which meant she had a wide vocab with a mixture of accents depending on where she had picked up the words or phrase. Once she established her own voice she it was like a BBC news reader rather than a local dialect. She had a phenomenal memory and could recognise words and brands easily.
At four she started to read and could spell like a child much older, she never used phonics but learnt all the phonics rules and then spelt words perfectly from memory. She was always well behaved, followed every rule and was kind to her peers and enjoyed their company.
She followed in the same vein throughout primary, learning was easy for her, her teacher would get her to proof read worksheets etc because she was known as the grammar police as she would never spell a word wrong or make any grammatical errors.
At home she was and always has been a joy, she makes me look like I'm a brilliant parent because she never ever puts a foot wrong, she has the manners of a lady, she has never raised her voice, lost her temper, had a meltdown, answered back or refused any request even as a teen. Whereas in effect none of it was down to me it was her own doing.
Secondary school saw a marked rise in anxiety. She struggled to cope with the noise, the changes, was bullied because she is pretty naive and can't see beyond face value so didn't understand why people were nasty. By year ten she was out of school could no longer cope but she has very happily attended an independent specialist school for the last three years.

Both my girls slept well.
Very sensory- only certain fabrics/styles of clothes
Limited diet
Shy but not obviously shy, just I know they are
Masking-hard to learn, I'm 35 and still learning (I was diagnosednwith autism as a teen)

She was 2 when I first had concerns due to her level of speech delay. She was referred for an assessment when she was 3 and diagnosed aged 4.

12
still not diagnosis

Daughter was diagnosed at 5 but suspected
from 2 as she didn’t speak at all (she was 4 before she spoke) I only went to the gp as I was concerned about her speech and they referred to paediatrician who straight away said autism, she doesn’t mask at all either (hate when people say girls mask as if it’s a given not all do, my dd wouldn’t know how to)

I saw signs when she was a baby, but didn't recognise them as signs at the time. First suggested it to her primary school teacher age 6/7 but was told she was just mature for her age. Finally got a private diagnosis age 15 after her mental health started to fail.

Autism (Asperger Syndrome at that time) was suggested by a colleague when I described my oldest daughter when she was 8, and she was diagnosed at 9. Precocious speech and reading, development otherwise normal, very sociable, absolutely fine at playgroup and nursery and socially with other children as a preschooler. Nothing to distinguish her from any other intelligent little girl. Went to school, became That Child, tremendous behavioural problems, aggressive towards other children and teachers, screaming meltdowns, destructive. Her behaviour at home also deteriorated. "It's YOUR fault, you should do this, you should do that," her father and I were told again and again, and of course we believed this because we WANTED to feel that we could make a difference. It was such a relief when the speech and language therapist said, "No, you're NOT bad parents," and in my own professional role I make a point of saying to parents, "I believe you."

At the time there was "none of that in OUR family" on both sides. Within months her younger brother had also been diagnosed as having autism. Several cousins on my side have also subsequently been diagnosed as having autism.

The diagnosis didn't give us access to much support back in the late 1990s, but it gave us some understanding of why, for example, another child's repetitive sniffing might result in DD1 trashing the classroom and why she couldn't eat in the dining room with the other children. She spent a couple of years out of mainstream education and had a rough time until her mid teens, but came out the other side and has done well in adulthood.

I know a few older girls with autism, all high functioning but very different. A mixture of behaviours including feeling overwhelmed in parties/school, generally holding it together while in school but releasing tension once hone, refusal to bath or brush teeth, sensory clothes issues, sleep issues, controlling behaviours spiralling when anxious, being able to mirror other children to mask behaviours.

@Debbiedoodah
Yes absolutely which is why it took so long for a diagnosis.