To Understand the Resentment Some Feel Towards Refugees ?

[wantaholiday]

I've name changed for this because I'm a regular poster and don't really want it known I've taken in a Ukrainian family.

We are a family with teenager school children and a Ukrainian mum and her six year old child are living in our house with us as in our spare bedroom as part of our family. We are very, very lucky because the family are lovely and a joy to have. It was a big gamble taking them as we didn't know them and just because you're escaping a war doesn't make you a nice, easy to live with person. Likewise for them, offering space doesn't mean we'll be easy.

They have been given a lot of help (this is great) such as, our oversubscribed and full village primary school made extra space to take child in. People in the village have been very welcoming, they've received loads of donated toys and clothes (that they needed). They've also gone out of their way to invite mum and kid to things and offer lifts (also needed) to the mum. Even the dentist, you can't get an NHS dentist for 50 miles in any direction from where I live, this was even on the news a while ago, my dentist has made an exception for them and taken them on as NHS patients.

All this is great, and I'm very happy about all of it and shows what a great place the world is. My issue is how we treat our own poor. So many people in the UK live in real long term grinding poverty with no end or hope in sight, they and their kids get none of this special treatment and are even blamed for their own circumstances. I can understand if they might feel resentful towards my guests. For what it's worth I think they're completely blaming the wrong people, it's not the fault of refugees that poor people in the UK live in such dire conditions, it's the fault of government. Absolutely no sympathy understanding or excuses given to people living comfortably lives who also resent refugees though.

I've turned off voting because I don't want any vote to be read as if we are right to be resentful of refugees .

Summed up by this…

I have to say I agree with you. We've taken in a Ukranian family also and they have been given large sums of money by the council (£600) plus by the red cross (£150 and a sim card for 6 months free service) and then they get universal credit plus a free bus pass. They get free housing and all bills paid by me. And people in the community have given them bikes, toys, and an x box. Their only expenses are food and entertainment so they've put away over £1,000 in savings and they've only been here 6 weeks. I think it's great and I don't begrudge them any of it but it does seem unfair when you have stage 4 cancer patients being sanctioned by the job centre, elderly pensioners unable to afford heating, mum's who can't feed their children properly, etc. The solution is to help those people more rather than to help Ukranians less. The money was there all along because the government was able to magic it up when the war started so why haven't people who were already here been helped properly?

And no @TerffLonDon I fully blame our absolute mess of an incompetent and selfish government.

It’s an interesting question OP- I agree my parents have taken in a family as have many of their friends (all v wealthy with massive houses). There is a huge amount of support locally both financial, social, English lessons, food and clothing banks, they are sorted with UC etc. now. The woman and grandmother are both working professionals with access to plenty of money and they seem lovely and are settling in well given the difficult situation. My parents or their friends would never have offered to take in a family who, say have an awful mould problem in their council house or have fled DV and are in a really rough temporary accommodation house but arguably these people are far more vulnerable and as at risk as their current guests. It does make you wonder.

I understand your point OP.

They’ve lost their home, their livelihoods, their way of life, everything they’ve grown up with, believing in. To be put in a foreign country where the majority of the people don’t speak their language, have little understanding of their culture all because Putin wants his swan song. They have had more devastation in their lives that most of us will ever see.
should we turn our backs on them and say fuck off we have to sort our own first? What makes our needy more deserving than the poor souls who’ve lost everything because of Putin

It's understandable as in I understand their thought process. You'd have to be pretty hardened to read and watch what's happening and still feel the same.

There are some really moving documentaries out there about refugees. I also think it's pretty sad how some refugees are treated less favourably than others. I mean, those who really hate foreigners aren't going to care, but... yeah. I suppose it's human nature to empathise with those who seem more like you but it's still unfair.

The solution is to help those people more rather than to help Ukranians less. The money was there all along because the government was able to magic it up when the war started so why haven't people who were already here been helped properly?

Completely agree.
It's a political choice to allow people to live in such poverty and such poorly funded public services. I just don't understand why we make those choices.

100% understand what you mean op. They're are people really struggling that will feel that way.

Its an interesting question

Im always struck by conversations whereby people argue against supporting refugees by saying 'charity begins at home' / 'we need to support our own'

They are NEVER the people who support the poor and vulnerable in the UK, they are the same people that spout off about dole scroungers, single parents, feckless poor, not working hard enough blah blah blah

I have been helping syrian refugees for a while now. I'm really pleased how welcoming people have been to ukrainian refugees. I am a little sad how little support the syrians got in comparison - especially as I now know all the things that are possible. I hope all refugees get more of a welcome in future and the support for the ukrainians is sustained.

I work with refugee populations (not in the UK, in other much poorer countries). There is often resentment among host communities against refugees, especially when scarce resources have to stretch even further. Also, because sometimes refugees get access to help that local people don’t have themselves, because of their status as refugees. So it is not unusual for there to be resentment and there is no point shaming people into silence about it.

The best way to tackle it is to look at the whole community, rather than just the refugees within it. Projects and infrastructure that support refugees and the host community go down much better locally. Also, dialogue projects can help to build relationships between refugees and others in the community, which breaks down fear/prejudice etc. And refugees have to be enabled to integrate - speak the language, enrol in schools, get jobs etc. People like to see refugees build a sustainable life, not become a drain on the community.

It’s a complex issue but you’re not wrong to name it for what it is. You’ll get your arse handed to you on here though.

My gripe is that if we can do this for Ukrainians why can we not do this for other refugees?

Much of the Afghan war was of our own making, many of the Afghan refugees trying to come to Britain are coming because they worked for the British armed forces. And they are given absolutely nothing. Not allowed to work, no visas, no Universal Credit, none of the things given to the Ukrainians. Same for any other refugee from any other country in the world. In fact now we just tell them they should go to Rwanda.

But apparently we could have given them all benefits and jobs and visas all along.

It's a shame all these do gooders couldn't do more for people here in need, very misguided.

If enough people wanted to prioritize helping the poor in the UK they would have done so.
They have prioritized other things.
This is why we have the current total shambles of a government.

The general population takes a different view of UK financially deprived families compared to European refugees driven out by unprovoked invasion.

There should be better support for both groups.

Does this level of support happen with all asylum seekers or just the Ukrainian refugees?

i can see why it might seem unfair but it’s government that are making these decisions.

i have worked advising asylum seekers and they are stuck in limbo. Wanting to work, set up businesses or go to uni but they can’t- waiting many years for their status to be changed. Some highly qualified people not able to work (nurses, doctors, accountants, engineers, lots trades).

Does this level of support happen with all asylum seekers or just the Ukrainian refugees?

A lot is specific to Ukrainians.

I grew up on a poverty stricken council estate and this sums up most people's attitudes towards refugees and migrants in general. And of course, when their council houses are damp and mouldy, their nans have to wait 2 years for a hip replacement, their kids go to the rough local school and their bikes get nicked at the park, they are going to resent the people who they see receiving more help than them. (Obviously, I absolutely blame the government.)

I have been on the waiting list for an NHS dentist for 2 years!!

I am so sick of the whataboutery and thinly veiled xenophobia that threads like this bring up.
My Da always brought us up to believe that you only ever look down on someone when you’re giving them a helping hand up. We are all only a few pay checks away from being in severe financial difficulties (unless very fortunate)

The incompetence of the current government in dealing with fuel poverty, healthcare and the cuts to social care and benefits should not exclude us from helping those less fortunate.

Refugees are fleeing circumstances we dare not even think of… War, famine, rape, torture…

it shouldn’t be a them v us scenario. It SHOULD just be a case of “OK here are all the people who need help. Let’s help them.”

I find it so ironic that a country who attempted global colonisation now takes issue with other nationalities arriving on its shores. It is just a tad hypocritical.

No this hasnt happened for other refugee arrivals. According to the mainstream media, its better that they drown in the channel and some people agree with that.

My parents or their friends would never have offered to take in a family who, say have an awful mould problem in their council house or have fled DV and are in a really rough temporary accommodation house but arguably these people are far more vulnerable and as at risk as their current guests. It does make you wonder.

Thing is, I don't think its appropriate to have strangers taking people in in those circumstances. The reason I think this is because people shouldn't be facing those problems in the first place. Decent affordable accommodation should be an absolute right in the first place. With a large and sudden influx of refugees, I actually think local families taking them in as the best option. They can provide a lot of informal support, and introduction to the community that they just wouldn't get in an asylum hotel.

yes the support given to the Ukrainian refugees is in very stark contrast to what is offered to other refugees (albeit that it has been badly organized by government, people on the ground have been very generous) - I think if I was a young man from Syria or Afghanistan I might feel ...jealous? unfairly treated?

Likewise British people living in poverty- many of whom are working- seem to be overlooked at best and blamed at worst. It would be understandable if they also felt jealous or unfairly treated. But it's not other British people to blame, it's the government.

I'm amazed the DWP have processed the UC claims so quickly. They're always insistent that 6 weeks is an acceptable amount of time for a person in need to wait.

A lot of this seems to be community based, which is great and lovely but relies on individuals not the government to help. The government would let them all to rot just like everyone else.

That being said, why isn't the community railing around it's poor as well? Why isn't anyone taking in homeless people or women with children in a refuge? Kitting them out ,donating stuff etc. Is it because we're just as apathetic most of the time to the plights of our own as the government is? That they're just background,part of the furniture,especially the way we keep voting?I'm talking as a society not blaming anyone in particular.

Tbf, refugees are an easy target. Everyone can punch down on them. Instead of the squeezed middle against working class, working class against people on benefits and so on, everyone can "resent" the refugees.

In the meantime some people build 100k treehouses for their kids.

I find it so ironic that a country who attempted global colonisation now takes issue with other nationalities arriving on its shores. It is just a tad hypocritical.

Agree with that.