Sports day

[alicedj22]

It was my ds sports day today. I've noticed a lot more negativity around it this year. Lots of upset kids who aren't sporty and parents moaning about it and saying it shouldn't be a thing anymore. But my ds is sporty and does enjoy it. He won some races today and was really proud of himself. He isn't the most academic so this is really where he shines and feels like he's achieved something. I can't imagine the academic kids and their parents being too happy if we dismissed their achievements because not everyone is as clever so it shouldn't count. Aibu?

But they are humiliated, every day in class in front of their peers - which is usually worse than when there are parents around, because it's an everyday comparison, highlighted when they never get the speaking parts in plays etc.

What they feel every day is what the others get maybe one day a year when a different set of pupils gets a chance to shine. That's actually quite a toxic form of elitism - 'if I can't win I don't want to play'

And if you're thinking 'oh but my DC doesn't think worse of the less academic ones' just remember that the sporty ones don't think any less of the non-sporty ones.

Oh wow MardyBumm that's terrible!

I'm really sad reading about how awful it is for some kids. I think it's up to the school to make sure it is not disressing for some children and teaching everyone to be supportive of each other.

I went to my kids' sports day on Tuesday and it was brilliant. There were 5 different races and they could choose which ones they wanted to do. There were a few kids who struggled but the rest of the class chanted their names and cheered extra loudly for them. Some of the kids went back and finished the race with them. A few who were at the back held hands and finished together.

There were also a couple of kids who were near the back in some races like hurdles or sprinting but then won at the egg and spoon or the distance race. They did have 1st 2nd and 3rd stickers but also ones for everyone for taking part.

That's horrible of the kids and adults!! At my daughter's school all were cheering and clapping for kids who were coming last or had injuries/falls. I think it's the culture of the school. My daughter's school is super sporty particularly in football (they are U12 national champs and have many kids in the premier league academies) but there was still a very nice atmosphere of everyone cheering not just for the super sporty kids, but for those that were slow as well.

I can't imagine the academic kids and their parents being too happy if we dismissed their achievements because not everyone is as clever so it shouldn't count.

But when was the last time your school held an academic competition with questions in front of the whole school and parents, where everyone got to see kids give wrong answers and kids were ranked for Maths and English from best to worst? It doesn’t happen.

Schools giving out certificates in assembly for academic achievement to a few kids isn’t the same as it doesn’t order kids from best to worst like a running race does.

Im not even against sports day, one of my kids quite liked it at primary school, but I just wanted to say that your argument makes no sense.

Good schools recognise improvement and effort in all lessons, so if your school doesn’t do that, and only usually recognises kids that are clever, then complain.

Sports days at secondary schools here are optional which I think is best. Let the sporty kids and those that may not be that sporty but want to do it, do it, and let the others cheer them on. It works well at my daughters school.

I don’t know why people get so bothered though, when one of kids didn’t want to do sports day at primary, I just gave them the day off, no drama.

Would you be happy if you DS was forced up at an assembly of parents and the whole school to take part in a spelling test or a mental arithmetic test?

@slashlover middle of the road kids like ds are made to feel inadequate throughout the whole year in loads of different ways - not getting parts in plays, not getting awards, never topping the leaderboards or being recognised in any meaningful way. It's not as performative as the example you give but it's still tedious and disappointing for them. I don't even begrudge it, I accept that his strengths might not be in the classroom. I don't complain when the same kids get the same awards time and time again. But when he actually does win at something it would be nice if that could be celebrated too rather than people acting as though it's somehow unworthy or unfair.

That...didn't answer my question. Would you be happy if he had to show his academic ability to the whole school and parents? (I say this as someone who wasn't academic AND was crap at sport, the whole school seeing me come last or second last in every race was was more humiliating than not getting any prizes.)

I agree that awards should be given for non academic things too.

Exactly! Both me and my youngest are the same- never win anything, never get highest marks, awards etc... The humiliation at sports day is absolutely incomparable to everything else!
M

@slashlover no I'm not saying I'd be happy about it. I don't think it's comparable really but I would feel for him like I feel for the kids who struggle at sports day. But by that logic we should never celebrate anything ever. My point isn't whether sports day is bad or good (I hated it myself as a kid) it's irritation that my sons achievement is glossed over and made out to be unworthy because other kids aren't sporty. But he isn't academic and we are all expected to share and delight in their success.

As I said earlier, I was the kid that came last every year by some way due to medical reasons. It's really not the end of the world.

While secondary school sports days tend to be more voluntary, I think some of the complaints are symptomatic of a wider ethos that parents don't like their kids to experience failure.

It may be because my kids are at a private school which seems to have more than our fair share of very competitive parents. Over the years, teachers have been hounded by parents for exam questions in advance (the deputy head told me this). The sports teachers are harangued about team selection.

The drama teacher receives a raft of emails whenever he casts a play as to why their kids haven't been given a main part. When my son was given a tiny part in one play, he sent me a really bizarre email saying how talented he was at drama but apologising that there wasn't an appropriate part in this play. My son was crap at drama and I completely understood why others were way more deserving of main parts.

And that's the tip of the iceberg. I won't even start on the unnecessary tutoring which parents conceal because they want to make their kids look like geniuses.

Some parents are constantly manoeuvring to make sure their kids come first. And while sports day can be a bit embarrassing if you come last, it's not a bad thing to learn to 'fail' gracefully and be pleased for others. I doubt the less academic kids feel that great when they're not called up in assembly or come last in exams (because the kids talk amongst themselves however much they're told not to share their scores).

Life is about successes and failures and coming last in sports day isn't a big deal in the wider scheme of things. My parents made me get on with school without ever intervening on my behalf and I wonder if we're all too involved on that front. We may have good intentions but resilience in the face of a minor adversity is a good quality for our kids to develop.

I have mixed feelings about it. I have one child who hated sport and doing races wit people watching and another who would have sports day every day given half the chance. So it was fairly unenjoyable to watch DC2 looking like they were hating every minute and often crying, but a nice afternoon out to see DC2 in their element giving everything a go. (They are reasonably sporty but didn't win races)
Like other pp have said if you're not great at English/maths/art etc you don't often have to read aloud /answer a question/draw a picture in front of all the parents.
Assemblies (in my experience) celebrated all achievements so you'd be called up or name checked in assembly if you'd got your 100m swimming badge, done grade 2 ballet, passed a music exam or won a maths competition, so not just academic kids.
Both my kids have always maintained that the sportiest kids were the most popular in both primary and Secondary

I think you’re missing what people are saying. If it was a case of your child getting a certificate in assembly to celebrate his fast running, skill at holding an egg on a spoon or ability to jump in a sack, people would be happy to clap along and ‘celebrate’. This is how it’s done for other children that are good at other things. Sports day rates children best to worst in front of everyone in school and parents and that’s not done for anything else. Without doubt, if Maths and English we’re judged in this way, parents would complain.

As I said earlier, I don’t particularly have an issue with sports day, but I understand why some parents and kids do. They should just make it optional. When my kids were at primary, I’d say at least half the kids really enjoyed it, more would have been happy to take part. There was maybe 5 or 6 kids in each class that really didn’t enjoy it, let them just sit it out and cheers the others on if that’s what they want.

Well done to your DS. Kids need to loose sometimes so they can learn how to cope with not always being at the top !

I have one sporty and one not sporty at all (dyspraxic). The latter is a phenomenal musician. She hated sports day and also resented the fact that so much fuss was made of the sporty kids. FOr example in year 6 the sports captain and deputy had massive badges to wear on their cardigans - bigger than the head and deputy head girls. Then there were a load of badges for those in the various sports teams so some girls were wandering around with 4 or 5 on their cardigans. Yet for the girls who turned up week after week for orchestra and choir, representing the school in various competitions etc there was no such recognition. Half the school magazine was match reports but there was never a section with photos of the best art works that week etc etc.

Can you imagine the horror if every child in the school had had to stand up one after another and sing the same song and then have their performance ranked from best to worst with people sniggering when someone forgot the words/sang out of time/had poor intonation etc? Yet that is an exact equivalent to sports day.

Yanbu

I haven’t noticed it much irl but have seen the sentiment a few times on mn