August Babies -starting school

[notnow86]

My friend has a DD born in Oct, my DD was born in Aug. They'll both be starting school in September.

Friend keeps making comments about how she's worried that my DD will be behind and how she's so little and she won't be achieving great grades etc...

I've never been worried until now when I'm thinking maybe she's right?! AIBU to think she shouldn't be making these comments ? Her mother used to teach and apparently all august born children are dumb and never catch up

However my DH insists August born children aren't lacking at academics and will catch up eventually.

Any experience? Please tell me my DD will be fine! 🙈 I'm really anxious now

DSIL is August born and is a Company Secretary. I'd like to see your "D"F make those comments to her.

I'd be questioning my friendship with someone who made these type of comments about my DD (who is also an August baby and doing absolutely fine)

She will be fine. My August baby got 9x9’s (and a few 8’s) at GCSE and is predicted 3 x A*’s in August. Got a place at St Andrews - but chose Warwick. Always been top of the class despite being a year younger than some. He puts the work in, he’s got more drive and determination than anyone I know. His dad is an August baby and has done very well for himself

Thank you! That's exactly what my DH says.. he knows lots of Aug born successful people.

So great that your DD is doing well at school 😀 thank you for the reassurance x

Daughter is early July born. Currently in top sets and aiming for 8&9 in her GCSE'S next year. Even if they are a little younger socially and developmentally it evens out by mid primary school. Top 3 in her primary Sat's were the youngest all July and August births

Your friend is an idiot. My DS is August born and he has never struggled either socially or academically. I know October born kids who have struggled with both, it depends on the child not their age.

My DD is right at the end of August. Now 13 and never had problems with keeping up. Possibly aa they got to older primary school a bit of an issue with being less mature than friends but tbh that could just be her personality.

What rubbish! I used to teach too. A boy in my class was born on the 31st august - you literally can't get any younger than that - and he did just fine.

I now no longer teach and am a SAHM. My eldest is an august baby who is about to turn 4 and start school and I have no worries!

I don't think she is a friend. I think she's weirdly wanting your child not to start school at the same time as hers and just wants to put you down via your child. Absolutely disgusting.

Thanks so much everyone for the reassurance! Exactly what I need to read right now.

Well done to all your end of summer babies for doing soo well 😃

I'm hoping the same for DD regardless of the month she was born

I'm an August birthday, I was fine, my dp is also August born, he did fine. By year 3 you can't tell, often sooner

My August boy is just finishing year 1. Academically he's flying but he did struggle incredibly with tiredness all through reception and most of the way into year 1. Where I live it is not common to delay entry for summer born children but if it were then I would have done this. He's coping well at school but children shouldn't have to just cope: they should thrive. Given his abilities I do think he would have been bored academically if we had been able to delay him but I think it would have had benefits in terms of his maturity, tiredness and social interactions.

Well, your friend isn't being all that friendly.

There's no hard and fast evidence. They're certainly not dumb just because of August birthdays! But they may be a bit less mature and be having to tackle things they are not developmentally ready for. It's really dependent on the individual child, and you know them best. There was a big campaign for summer born babies (April-Sept) to be allowed to start a year later, and that is now a lot easier to do if you feel it is right. But equally, some children are as ready as older peers.

You could also look into starting them within the same school year but a term later, as that's an option too if you are very worried. But to me that's the worst of both worlds - still v young and now a term behind classmates in making friends, learning how to be in school etc.

Personally I think all children should start formal school later, but that's another issue)

Really, it does just depend on the individual child. Your friend needs to back off.

I'm August born and was in the gifted and talented groups.
DS2 is also August born and hasn't ever struggled academically (which made it harder getting his autism diagnosis)
I don't buy into the whole August borns are dumb etc. At the end of the day your friend doesn't sound much of a friend if she's trying to convince you your child will be behind.

(Apr to Aug, obv!)

Your friend was being pretty insensitive however there has been lots of research done into this issue and statistically there are disadvantages (socially, academically and mentally) to Summer born children starting school at such a young age.

There will be lots of stories of people with well achieving summer born babies and they are of course most likely true as not all summer babies will struggle, but like I said, from a statistical point of view there are associated difficulties.

My August born son ‘should’ have started school last year, 2 weeks after his fourth birthday, but me and DH had always known from when we found out I was pregnant with a summer baby that we would defer his start. As a result he’s starting Reception this year, two weeks after his fifth birthday.

Please don’t worry yourself and just see how she managed and if she does struggle there is the option to take her out and just restart her in reception the following year with the schools agreement.

My brother was born end of August. He got a First Class Masters in Maths from Durham... he was top of the class from Yr1!

My June born girl struggled a lot more than my March born girl. But... she has Dyslexia. Her birthdate is irrelevant in that. The March born one would have been fine going at 3.5years.

Statistically, the younger ones are more likely to struggle, especially at first. But its not inevitable. They are often smaller and had less time in preschool. But a good school helps them all achieve their potential.

I'm august born and doing ok. My two children are august born and will also be fine. It's nothing to do with when they are born and more to do with how much effort they put in.

With mixed classes, kids will be challenged and encouraged to work above their age where possible anyway so it will all balance out and those that need support will get it regardless of when they were born!

You're friend sounds a bit twatty to be honest.

Your “friend” is a rude, condescending twat and if it’s true her mother as a teacher made such sweeping generalisations about August born children, then she’s probably a shit teacher.

I’m a summer baby and struggled at school but my siblings who are summer born too thrived at school and left with excellent grades.

Thanks again everyone. Feeling much better.
None of my friends / family have August babies so I started to panic a little today after my friends comments.

DH just said my Friend who's birthday is in September was terrible at school 🙈 (they used to go to the same school) and he'll love to remind her 🙈

I think she's fine socially. She's been going to nursery 4 days a week, and they always say how confident she is and how she gets involved with everything and everyone. So I'm not worried about her being too immature, it was just the academic side, as my friend pointed out how much better her DDs speech was compared to mine( her DD can use big words-
More intellectual words I guess)

Well, there are obviously numerous examples of august borns doing brilliantly.

On a general rather than individual level, this isn’t true. It does tend to be boys rather than girls who are most impacted, though.

The difference between just 4 and almost 5 is pretty huge and summer born children can certainly appear noticeably younger when starting school and take a bit longer to get into the flow of full time school than their autumn born peers. But that doesn't mean that all or even most summer born children are going to struggle.

As they get older the gap becomes proportionately less and, for example, just 10 vs nearly 11 isn't really significant at all.

Your friend is a dick though, and frankly so is her mum to say that any children she taught were dumb. Don't worry about it OP, I'm sure your daughter, like many hundreds of thousands of summer born children before her, will be fine.

We started our Summer-born daughter a year later at Compulsory School Age (so she started at 5 not 4). Academically she was ready, but emotionally not. We're very glad we did this as she is thriving in her adopted cohort. But equally so are some of her Summer-born friends in her year who started at 4! You know your child best and whether or not they're ready! Your friend sounds like a bit of a dick.

Shes not your friend. She's a competitive nightmare

@notnow86 your friend sounds like she's projecting her insecurities at you and your DD. Ignore ignore ignore!

School is tough enough without other parents trying to take her down before she evens starts 🙄