Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

August Babies -starting school

84 replies

notnow86 · 05/07/2022 19:35

My friend has a DD born in Oct, my DD was born in Aug. They'll both be starting school in September.

Friend keeps making comments about how she's worried that my DD will be behind and how she's so little and she won't be achieving great grades etc...

I've never been worried until now when I'm thinking maybe she's right?! AIBU to think she shouldn't be making these comments ? Her mother used to teach and apparently all august born children are dumb and never catch up

However my DH insists August born children aren't lacking at academics and will catch up eventually.

Any experience? Please tell me my DD will be fine! 🙈 I'm really anxious now

OP posts:

MiniMoosey · 05/07/2022 19:58

My daughter is very end of august but she was at nursery full time since 2 so I knew she was ready. She was and still is far exceeding the work of others in her class, including some of the children in the year above (they are in mixed classes.)

it very much depends on the child.

Noodledoodledoo · 05/07/2022 20:00

My son is August born, just finishing Year 1. So has missed half of school nursery and chunk of reception. He is finishing the year one of the highest reading level groups and gets taken out of the class for extra maths most days.

There is some evidence they are behind, but lots of contributing factors have helped my son - being the second has definitely helped as he wants to keep up with big sister!

The hardest thing I have found is not comparing them, they are in consecutive years so really hard not to but they are 2 years apart age wise, as I can recall what eldest did when!

Like any thing - so much is down to the individual circumstances - so many factors can influence outcomes. Does your friends daughter understand her big words or is she just parroting them! My daughter says all sorts but doesn't always know what she is on about!

NewYorkLassie · 05/07/2022 20:05

I wasn’t worried at all about the academics when summer born DC1 started school, and I was right not. They are the top reader in the year and now on a book band 3 years above.

I was worried about the practical side of school. Making sure they could get changed independently, would ask for the toilet if they needed it and could clean themselves up properly after a poo. So we worked on things through the summer. I spent the first few months worried they would starve because they were a bit fussy and rubbish with a knife and fork.

They honestly came on leaps and bounds with the practical life skills very quickly.

RaspberryParfait · 05/07/2022 20:06

My late July born Yr 7 is currently at a prize giving ceremony at a prestigious Uni for an eco science project that he did with Yr10s and 11s. DH and DS1 went as I couldn’t due to work unfortunately.

He has had 100% in all assessments this year and as his tutor said to me a few weeks ago, at parents evening, he is a joy and a revelation to all the teachers in the school. Not a boast and my other 3 DC certainly didn’t have that said about them! Socially, he is probably the maturer one in his peer groups

I was crapping myself about him starting school at 4 years and 1 month and did consider deferring for a year but he wanted to go. He was so tiny. Now he’s one of the tallest in his year if not the tallest. He hit the ground running at primary and absolutely loved it.

Obviously you know your child, I wouldn’t defer unless you think they will really struggle. They would start in Yr1 rather than Reception missing out on a lot of social bonding with peers who will be with them all the way through primary, and experience of being in a school environment so will have to catch up. Not advisable.

Kidsaregrim · 05/07/2022 20:06

Summer born DS, very very end of august and currently the youngest in the whole school!

academically in all the top sets and achieving top grades. Great friendship groups, gets on with everyone!

however he is on his arse in terms of emotions, he wants to be in wellies playing in the mud, he comes home every day looking like he has been physically assaulted, he gets into trouble for the most RIDICULOUS of things and sometimes makes some absolutely stupid decisions.

I see him with his friends and they are all heads and shoulders bigger than him and much more mature.

Hindsight, would I change anything? Nope, he is happy, enjoys school, and enjoys his friends, I just hope he grows up slightly this summer

SkylarFerris · 05/07/2022 20:11

Tell her to stop being so rude.

my DS is an August baby and has got predicted grades of 7-8 in most GCSEs

tell your mate to back off

Happyhappyday · 05/07/2022 20:12

So there is some research showing that kids who are on the very young end are diagnosed with learning disabilities at significantly higher rates than their older peers and that this persists throughout their time at school. Obviously all younger children do not have higher needs by virtue of being born in August… thinking is that they are exhibiting age appropriate behavior in the wrong class. Have experienced this with my own very verbal 3yo, she’s in a mixed Montessori classroom. Teacher expressed vague SEN concerns but when she was assessed by two pediatricians they both said she’s completely neurotypical as far as they can see. We also see it in her gymnastics class in reverse, she is by far the calmest child & has no difficulty following directions but she is now almost the oldest. The new kids are all just turned 3 and seem very immature by comparison.

if your child is socially mature, likely not to have any problems but it is worth thinking about whether keeping back a year is sensible if she is not.

We were leaning towards sending DD to school early because her verbal ability is ridiculously advanced but socially she is no way ready & I don’t want her to get stuck with a label she doesn’t need.

sageandrosemary · 05/07/2022 20:13

Is your friend potentially coming from a good place but going about it in the wrong way?

DD is summer born and will be starting reception this year at CSA. I'm sure it was the right decision for her but I know that doesn't mean it's the right decision for every summer born child.

From your post, it doesn't sound like your friend is being very nice, I must admit, but I thought it might be worth considering that she has just wanted to make you aware of other options but hasn't been very tactile about it.

Original poster

notnow86 · 05/07/2022 20:13

Thank you so so much everyone.

You have no idea how much this helps. I've been an emotional mess today feeling guilty that I didn't have her a few months earlier 😂🙈

I could keep her back for a year but DH thinks it's silly and she'll be just fine & absolutely refuses to discuss her not starting school this sept As he thinks you're either smart or you're not regardless of the month you were born in.

OP posts:

PurpleFlower1983 · 05/07/2022 20:14

If there is a gap, and sometimes there is, sometimes there isn’t, it narrows as children get older.

altiara · 05/07/2022 20:15

Tell her you’ve saved a years worth of nursery fees compared to her so you can afford weekly tutoring! 😂 😂

And yes, she will catch up, or fall behind or even overtake others at times because they all learn differently 😊
it’s hard to do when you’re in the thick of it, but advice I’d give to myself back then would be not to worry about it. Yes, help them learn new skills and do reading, homework etc, but just don’t worry.
My kids had hearing problems and developed their speech later than some. Should have enjoyed the peace!

cadburyegg · 05/07/2022 20:16

I was an august baby and struggled at school. I do consider myself successful though. There has been a lot of research into how some summer born children can need catch up time. But that doesn't mean every summer born child will find things hard. A good friend of mine is also august born and she's a very intelligent doctor.

Someone has to be the youngest.

My youngest ds is starting school in September and I am concerned because he IS delayed in certain things but his birthday is in March. So 🤷‍♀️

TheGlitterFairy · 05/07/2022 20:17

I’m August born - and did / have done well socially and academically! All GCSE’s, A levels A-C at the time then graduated at 20 and an MA a few years later too. Long career in a senior position with plenty of international travel with it and public speaking.
I’d be inclined to ignore your friend and crack on! All will be fine!

Mariposista · 05/07/2022 20:18

Absolute rubbish. Each child is different. One of my friends was born 30 August - she is now a renal consultant and got excellent marks at school. Know another who was born early October and was the most immature in the year.

cadburyegg · 05/07/2022 20:18

I meant to add that your friend is extremely rude even passing comment. I have friends with august born children and would never think to make a comment about it or suggest that they will have a hard time, despite my own experience.

PritiPatelsMaker · 05/07/2022 20:19

Tell her you’ve saved a years worth of nursery fees compared to her so you can afford weekly tutoring

I think that's a great suggestion for this "friend"

Malbecfan · 05/07/2022 20:23

Your so-called friend is a dick. DD1's birthday is late July. She is almost 23 so back then, she started school in the January before she was 5. Within one term, she was working with the year above, which continued throughout primary school. She graduated with a First & Masters from Cambridge last summer and is now studying for a PhD there. So yes, according to your so-called mate, DD is dumb - NOT!

Trust the teachers. Every year they get August-borns in Reception. They all seem to cope. Prepare your DD and I'm sure she'll be fine.

Bunnycat101 · 05/07/2022 20:29

Your friend is being a twat but the summer effect is real. I’ve got a summer born year 1 and she’s excelling but I think she’s had to work harder for it. It’s taken her a while longer to get to grips with writing as well. Her year is heavily stacked with autumn borns and in infants a year of maturity does make a difference especially for boys. When I think about how much she’s come on in a year, you really realise how much of an advantage the autumn borns have. For every person on here saying their summer borns have excelled, the stats don’t lie at a population level.

The biggest worry for me was not academic but being totally secure with toileting/independent dressing. I’ve got a 3yo who will be older in the year and I am much more relaxed about her starting school. It’s easier for siblings anyway but those extra months feel like they’ll make a difference.

Mally100 · 05/07/2022 20:31

My ds is August born and one of the youngest in his class. He also is in an extremely academic independent school and thriving along his peers who are almost a year older. Tell your friend she is the dumb one for making such comments.

SmashingEgg · 05/07/2022 20:32

Please stop worrying op.
As others have said, their August born babies have done just fine.
Both of mine are August born, both started full time school at just turned four and have done well academically, socially and career wise.
They're in their thirties now and haven't been disadvantaged in any way due to their birth month.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 05/07/2022 20:35

My 4 year old is doing academically amazing at school, her teacher said she doesn’t stand out as a summer born baby. Tbh even if she did I wouldn’t overly care there is a quarter of their life advantage, and it’s reception! The only way her age displays itself if she does cry more than her friends- emotional development maybe slightly behind- she could also just be a crier

balalake · 05/07/2022 20:35

Three of the four most successful people I was at school with were August birthdays.

rosiebl · 05/07/2022 20:37

The smartest person I know was born on 28th August. 1st class degree, masters and phd level education. Lecturer at a university. Your friend is talking shit. Ignore.

whoruntheworldgirls · 05/07/2022 20:38

Your friend is being an idiot. My August baby is coming to the end of year 1 and is doing some work that the year 2's are doing, she's never struggled and neither have the other August children in her class

whoruntheworldgirls · 05/07/2022 20:41

The only issue my daughter has occasionally is that she's a bit of a fidget bum and can talk a bit too much (must take after me!)

Flip

1 2 3 4