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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Racist school mums

55 replies

Jennybeans401 · 05/07/2022 07:00

Over the past week I've been a bit shocked to hear two of the school mums being racist. They both know it's wrong but it's clear that they (and their families) are very racist.

Our dcs are in a small village primary and there is very little diversity. Despite this I (naively) thought most people were like me. AIBU to suggest the school do more work to educate the children on racism? I am not naming any names but just feel it's very sad to hear these attitudes.

OP posts:

Provenceinthesummer · 05/07/2022 07:04

Absolutely. I live in a small village and have never heard any racism. It’s unusual these days in my experience and should be called out immediately.
if I heard racism anywhere I would call it out politely.
’ Did you mean to be racist? What you have just said could be very hurtful and offensive’ and walk off. You don’t have to listen to racism or tolerate it.

Confrontayshunme · 05/07/2022 07:05

Racist speech, if someone feels harmed by hearing it, is a hate crime, so yes, I would tell school. At the very least they can address it in school or adopt a zero tolerance policy at pick up and drop off times.

SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 05/07/2022 07:06

Did you say anything in the moment, or just post about it here?

Original poster

Jennybeans401 · 05/07/2022 07:10

I was shocked and did say to both muns (on separate occasions) that what they said was offensive. I have a lot of friends of different races and cultures and think it's very upsetting. I also worry that these attitudes might be passeddown to the children.

OP posts:

balalake · 05/07/2022 07:19

Glad you challenged it. You could let the school know in case the attitudes are passed down.

Spanielservant · 05/07/2022 07:38

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girlmom21 · 05/07/2022 07:41

I don't think the school can do much to educate ignorant adults.

MolliciousIntent · 05/07/2022 07:49

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You pay other people to "do the school mummy thing" so that people like the OP don't find out you're a racist?

SummerPuddings · 05/07/2022 07:50

Of course you should say something!

skippy67 · 05/07/2022 07:52

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Would you say the same about any other crime? Or just the ones that won't ever affect you?

SummerPuddings · 05/07/2022 07:54

If no one challenges this type of thinking, how will it change?

Honestly! Some of you are shockingly ignorant.

Do you honestly think that you, as women would have the right to own property, vote, maternity leave, your own fucking bank accounts if no one ever challenged backwards thinking like this?!?!

What is WRONG with you all?!
Whilst I'm at it, please stop voting fucking Tory!!! JEEZE!

TibetanTerrah · 05/07/2022 07:56

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Actually it's everyone's job to call about racism and other bigotry. It's 2022 not 1922.

Testingprof · 05/07/2022 07:56

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There’s a huge difference between putting in a banned chocolate bar into a school lunch and making racist statements. It’s not needy to be shocked when people make statements that are not socially acceptable. I’m sure if you were at work and men started making openly misogynistic comments you would be equally shocked.
The OP isn’t suggesting they ‘tell’ on the parents but is suggesting that she talk to the school about their anti-racist teachings.

dapsnotplimsolls · 05/07/2022 07:58

How did they respond?

Spanielservant · 05/07/2022 07:59

If I was at work and men made comments to ME, I would deal with it. Ot llf two people were having a conversation and I was eavesdropping just in case I could squeeze some offence out of it, I would keep my nose out.

skippy67 · 05/07/2022 08:01

Spanielservant · 05/07/2022 07:59

So the answer to my question is yes then.

Provenceinthesummer · 05/07/2022 08:01

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It is the job of everyone in our society to police racism!

We only change as a society when we understand the pain some words can cause others. I find it suffocating to be surrounded by people to weak and feeble to challenge racism when they hear it. Report to the school op and name the parents.

Its probably just as well you pay someone else to do the school run, you are a liability especially to your poor kids -spaniel

Crazykefir · 05/07/2022 08:03

You've challenged it that's enough.

Verbena87 · 05/07/2022 08:08

Yep, raise it with school. As a teacher I’ve reported a (secondary) child making startlingly racist comments to safeguarding. Prevent looked into their home life and discovered that they were subject to parents’ extreme white supremacist views as well as abuse at home. Kids were removed. I’m not saying you’re seeing something to this level, but school are not powerless and it’s always worth speaking up in some way if you see/hear something that concerns you.

NewNamePrivacyneeded · 05/07/2022 08:12

Glad you challenged it, some people need pulling up.

Also get school to consider work on this area.

AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 05/07/2022 08:18

I feel like you could be talking about my children's school OP. One mum kicked off hugely when the new classes came out and we all thought it was a bit of an over reaction. She then proudly said this week 'I don't even know how to pronounce that new teacher's name'. And it all made sense. I said to her 'you've coached your daughters phonics so well this year - why don't you ask her to segment it for you to blend'.

Was proud of myself.

AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 05/07/2022 08:21

Ps I need to add that I don't feel proud of myself for being a smart alec; rather, for standing up to her ignorance and saying something to call out her racism. Because that's for all of us to do isn't it.

EthicalNonMahogany · 05/07/2022 08:23

"Needy mummy thing" is flouncing around about how being on the PTA makes you important, or complaining that your child didn't get to do the solo in the play despite being unable to sing. Being concerned about racism is just being a normal human who isn't an arse. Hope that clarifies, @Spanielservant

SamMil · 05/07/2022 08:25

Well done on speaking to the parents. I would definitely make the school aware too, so that they are aware of some of the challenges the children have in their home life & can strategically counteract these beliefs at school.

Spanielservant · 05/07/2022 08:26

If this was really about racism, the OP, like the rest of us adults, would deal with it. The only possible reason to ask a startlingly stupid question on mumsnet is to seek attention. The OP knows full well what to do or not do, it's pure virtue signalling. That's what I can't be doing with.

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