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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't cope

29 replies

needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:00

I've been awake since 4am with panic and anxiety, I feel my life is spiralling. I have no real life support. Partner is cold and uncaring. I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be at work today. I'm so lost. Can anyone help?

OP posts:
Musti · 05/07/2022 06:03

Could you take a day off and see your doctor to see if you can get something for anxiety?

Original poster
needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:04

I am already taking meds for anxiety 😥

OP posts:
Musti · 05/07/2022 06:05

What’s happening in your life? What are you struggling with? (((())))

brookln · 05/07/2022 06:06

It's ok OP, deep breaths and we're here to listen and hopefully calm you.
Can you put relaxing talkdown on Spotify or an app like headspace or insight timer?

What is happening with your life? Tell us about it, I'm sure there is a solution.
Remember it always seems the most hopeless in the middle of the night, and even the darkest day has only 24 hours. x

Provenceinthesummer · 05/07/2022 06:07

I think you need to take the day off and see your doctor if you are spiralling.

LovelyYellowLabrador · 05/07/2022 06:07

No real advice op
but sending hugs as you are not alone

Provenceinthesummer · 05/07/2022 06:08

What triggered your anxiety?

Mabelface · 05/07/2022 06:10

You need to take today off and speak to your gp. Maybe it's also time to reconsider if your relationship is what's causing this. You'll be okay, you'll get through this. X

Original poster
needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:21

He told me last night he doesn't love me.
He doesn't comfort or support me when I'm upset. I said this morning I've been awake since 4am with panic I don't feel good at all, don't know whether I should go to work, he said "what's your sickness record like". That's his first thought. Not my well-being but my sickness record. I have to beg (yes beg) for a hug when I'm crying and upset. He's awful honestly

OP posts:
Original poster
needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:22

I wish I could just leave but we have a young Dc

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 05/07/2022 06:24

Make an appointment with the doctor, try and get counselling and consider if this ‘partner’ is part of the problem - he doesn’t sound like a ‘partner’.

biggirlknickers · 05/07/2022 06:29

Having a young DC does not mean you cannot leave. It makes it a little more complicated but really not impossible (I know, I did it with 2 young DC).

I think it might be an idea to stop turning to him for support as he is unwilling to give it. I mean this kindly. It will only make you feel worse. You should look for other forms of support (family? Friends? Mumsnet?doctor? Counsellor? Samaritans?) and block your attachment to him for now.

Original poster
needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:44

My self esteem is on the floor. I'm convinced no one will ever want to be with me if I left him.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 05/07/2022 06:47

You need to be ok on your own, you need to not need a man.

Mabelface · 05/07/2022 06:52

Yeah, that's only because he's ground you down to make you feel like that. Why would someone else not want you?

Vallmo47 · 05/07/2022 06:52

Anxiety is the worst feeling in the world OP. I would take your partner out of the equation all together and do what’s right for you. If you think you can afford a day off, take it. Don’t even hesitate.
Of course I would say this man is no good, but you need to calm down and I don’t think that chat will help you much. There are many kind men in the world and you should never doubt that.
But for now, do what you need to do. Very often with anxiety (for me), it eases with sleep. Get in touch with your GP and explain what you’ve said here and make it clear you cannot sleep. They will prescribe you medication to get that back on track. Take care x

lozza8256 · 05/07/2022 06:56

needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:44

My self esteem is on the floor. I'm convinced no one will ever want to be with me if I left him.

At the moment your priority needs to be getting the support you need and deserve today .. and you came here which is a great start! Focus on today and what might make you feel better today rather than worrying about what may or may not happen years down the line.

Breathe today. Look to people and things that make you feel good, not those who bring you down.

Xx

Nugg · 05/07/2022 07:12

needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 06:44

My self esteem is on the floor. I'm convinced no one will ever want to be with me if I left him.

That shouldn't be your focus.

Please try to leave and focus on your mental health and well-being and your dc

SomeLikeItWarm · 05/07/2022 07:18

Hi OP. I think you need to take today off, and call your GP. That's all you need to do today. Don't try to work out what to do next if you are feeling overwhelmed.

Do you have friends, family? Does your work have an employee assistance programme?

Original poster
needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 08:10

Mabelface · 05/07/2022 06:52

Yeah, that's only because he's ground you down to make you feel like that. Why would someone else not want you?

I'm almost 40 with 2 kids, my best days are behind me. I'm a stone heavier now than I was pre kids, I feel permanently exhausted. I never smile anymore. Why would anyone want me? 😞

OP posts:
Original poster
needsupport22 · 05/07/2022 08:11

Thank you all for the advice. I've decided to come to work for the distraction. Trying not to cry. I have the worst headache from lack of sleep

OP posts:
SomeLikeItWarm · 05/07/2022 08:23

@needsupport22 I know it's really hard but I promise you, there's life after this. I was about your age, 2 kids and went through a divorce. It was the worst time of my life but soon after things started to change and bit by bit I got a great life . You can do this x

unicornsarereal72 · 05/07/2022 11:35

I hung on longer than I should have because being in my own scared me. But this is no way to live. You deserve to be happy. I don't expect to meet anyone else. But the quality of life I have now is far superior to what it was with an ex who drains all your self worth.

Call your gp. Arrange some counselling. Start to see the positives of not being in this relationship.

bluebell34567 · 05/07/2022 11:44

Anxiety is the worst feeling in the world

thats so true.
rewise your med with gp.

Bunty55 · 05/07/2022 11:47

Why concern yourself with whether or not anyone would want you OP.

You need to look at your self worth and ask yourself why it is on the floor.
My guess is - a man. The man you are asking for a hug.

Think about it