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AIBU?

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Original poster

School Awards Assembly

58 replies

blueswans · 04/07/2022 18:34

Today DD11 in Year 7 had her end of year awards assembly (private school so last week of term this week). All of Y7, maybe 100 kids and 100 parents in the hall. They started with Maths, English, Science awards, No DD. Then History, Geography, Languages, PE, Technology, Arts, Drama etc. then Attendance, Charity Fundraiser, Sportsperson, Overall Achievement etc.

No DD.

The kids all walk out of the hall across the stage. DD is the only kid without a certificate or an award.

I'm not the type of person that thinks everybody should win and get a participation trophy, but I feel so bad for DD. It was obvious that she was the only kid without something, she's had a hard year (lost her dad, my DH in January) and I just think more care should have been taken to ensure that there wasn't just one child without something. If ten kids or even two wouldn't have had something, I wouldn't be upset but she was the only one!

She's not a super high achiever, or a future Olympian but she is a genuinely good, nice person. And I'm upset for her, she says she's fine about it and not bothered by a laminated bit of paper but I can't help but feel bad for her.

I'm not going to do anything but I guess AIBU for finding this unfair?

OP posts:
Spudina · 06/07/2022 10:27

My DM died when I was doing my A Levels. It’s really hard to carry on when something so catastrophic and life changing happens. Your DD reserved recognition for that in the least, as that shows incredible resilience. Most people don’t deal with that pain until they are well into adulthood. It was cruel of the school to leave her out. I would say something.

WhereIsVillanelleWhenNeeded · 06/07/2022 10:28

DD is the only kid without a certificate or an award

It was obvious that she was the only kid without something

Obviously I can’t be 100% sure that DD was the only one without one

It doesn’t sound obvious

itsjustnotok · 06/07/2022 10:37

@woulducouldushouldu that’s down to the school. My DD rarely got anything in primary school. She told me regularly it was because she was weird and not as clever. Secondary school for her has been a turning point and we are very lucky going by some of the threads I’ve read recently. She won an award because of her attitude towards learning. She’s in bottom
sets for a few including maths and science but she tries hard even if she doesn’t do well. Her school rewarded her for her effort and attitude. She was shocked to hear her name and it boosted her confidence no end. It’s a shame that this isn’t recognised more.

YesNoMaybeNot · 06/07/2022 10:58

Obviously I can’t be 100% sure that DD was the only one without one,

So you don't know if they were the only one that didn't get anything then.

caringcarer · 06/07/2022 10:58

@redredskyatnight, I would far rather the subject prizes went to the student with the highest grade as objective and fair, as all had equal chance in test. My DS is really good at Sport, plays at county level and just made England training squad for winter coming. He is autistic. He did not win sports trophy. He would not mind if another high sporty child got award but no, child who won Sports trophy was awarded as they helped teacher tidy up equipment after lesson in break time. This was supposed to be an attainment award on programme. My DS got 100 percent Attendance Award and Form Role Model, neither of which he cared about and actually threw both Attendance certificate and Role Model perspex award in bin outside assembly. It was all made worse by I was invited as pre told he had won an award. His teacher saw him do it and rushed over to us and told me he was by far best Sports person but he could not win 3 things. It just made me sad that they did not know DS at all as he would happily have gone without other awards and only one he wanted to win was the Sports award and student who tidied up equipment is crap at sport according to my son, who is autistic, he said they think I am worse at sport than X who won trophy. I must be even more crap at sport than X then. This did not happen with other awards. Student who best at Art got Art award etc. Student who ended up getting Sports award not in one school sports team. DS in county cricket team, swims for his town and county and was Aquathlon champion 2 years running and in school teams for cricket, rounders, swimming and cross country.

redskyatnight · 06/07/2022 13:24

Well people either like "objective and fair" awards or they like inclusive awards.

As OP's DC clearly goes to a school that likes their awards to be objective and fair this means that some children won't get awards and that this might appear to be unfair. Guess it's good she's worked this out in Year 7.

Daftapath · 06/07/2022 13:37

At ds' school, the same children would always get awards, some of them multiple awards. Parents only had an invite (unless a leaver) if their child had an award.

I always thought that they should give them to a wider group of children and maybe had a rule that a child could not get the same award two years running. Maybe that was just sour grapes on my part though!

XelaM · 06/07/2022 13:49

caringcarer · 06/07/2022 10:58

@redredskyatnight, I would far rather the subject prizes went to the student with the highest grade as objective and fair, as all had equal chance in test. My DS is really good at Sport, plays at county level and just made England training squad for winter coming. He is autistic. He did not win sports trophy. He would not mind if another high sporty child got award but no, child who won Sports trophy was awarded as they helped teacher tidy up equipment after lesson in break time. This was supposed to be an attainment award on programme. My DS got 100 percent Attendance Award and Form Role Model, neither of which he cared about and actually threw both Attendance certificate and Role Model perspex award in bin outside assembly. It was all made worse by I was invited as pre told he had won an award. His teacher saw him do it and rushed over to us and told me he was by far best Sports person but he could not win 3 things. It just made me sad that they did not know DS at all as he would happily have gone without other awards and only one he wanted to win was the Sports award and student who tidied up equipment is crap at sport according to my son, who is autistic, he said they think I am worse at sport than X who won trophy. I must be even more crap at sport than X then. This did not happen with other awards. Student who best at Art got Art award etc. Student who ended up getting Sports award not in one school sports team. DS in county cricket team, swims for his town and county and was Aquathlon champion 2 years running and in school teams for cricket, rounders, swimming and cross country.

That's crazy! Sports awards are usually quite objective. Your son's school is totally nuts. My daughter just had sports awards at her school and actually she thought the school would give her the Sports Woman award, as she was the only girl in her whole school to volunteer to do long-distance cross-country racing and had to race against the boys. But I actually thought her school did well in handing the award to a girl who actually had outstanding achievements in sport rather than just recognise my daughter for being a good sport. It's mental to not give your son the award, but it sounds like he is doing superbly and good luck to him in the England camp!

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