Care home destroyed clothes

[Annoyeddd]

DM is in a lovely care home with good care staff however the housekeeping staff have destroyed some of her clothes by washing then on very hot wash so I have been asked to replace them.
AIBU in thinking you destroyed them you replace them (the home fees do not come cheap).

Right but they don't have the staff. So would you rather the staff be stuck hand washing cashmere cardies or delivering meds on time?

This is a good idea

Are you always like this?

When my mum and then my dad had to be in a care home, there were certain things which we took home to wash ourselves, mainly cashmere jumpers. We just left a large notice beside his laundry bag saying that jumpers weren’t to go to the laundry. This was in a 96 bed home, and the staff managed to follow it 100%.
We just didn’t see why they should have to wear shitty indestructible “care home” clothes, rather than good quality ones just because life had been shitty enough to deal them both dementia.
However my sister and I both lived really close to the home and were able to pop in most days so it wasn’t an issue

@Annoyeddd
Your last two posts are snarky

PPs have explained why residents clothes are washed on a hot wash generally which means as the client rep for your mum you do need to buy her clothes with more care - knowing you can't buy clothes that can't withstand a decent heat in washing machine .

You've not been listening. It is possible that those clothes were soiled (within faeces) , bagged up and that is why they were washed on a boil wash. Care jokes don't usually boil wash clothes without reason. They are not going to keep those hanging about or put in a regular wash. It is unfortunate and as you say has happened once in 2 years so far. Everyone gets a D&V bug sometimes

You don't need to denigrate the hard work care homes do to keep people safe by claiming therefore carehomes expect Older people to be dressed in boiler suits then, when it was a one off.

Yes it is frustrating that they were new clothes. Feel free to offer to do DMs laundry yourself but they still won't keep soiled clothes hanging around even bagged up. It's a health hazard so They would launder them anyway.

Argh care homes not care jokes, that phone auto incorrected it to!

We popped a small hamper in Dad’s room so we could take back & wash any delicate items.

He was always a smart dresser in coloured chinos & shirts, but chose to move to lounge pants & t-shirts for daily wear for comfort (there for disability first, age second). His smarter clothes were kept for trips out & special occasions.

It’s a shame, but as he had bowel & bladder issues, he’d often get through multiple outfits per day, even with sanitary protection & a catheter. Our priority was that his clothing was clean, and his choice in garments could handle a bloody good hot wash. The home were honest about how laundry was done too when we visited & what fabrics would be better suited!

Just curious, how do you get sizing right for someone in CH who can't try on before purchase. Doesn't resident shrink & expand sometimes just like people living in community? Tops ok won't change much, but trousers could fall off. Belts & dresses, maybe?

Also, you are the resident’s representative. It really is up to you to buy clothing (mostly cotton in Dad’s case) that can withstand a very hot wash. They don’t have the manpower to call you every time clothing has been soiled for you to take it to do your own wash. In the case of a d&v bug, would you want to contaminate your home with soiled clothing anyway? Dad’s special hamper was rarely used anyway; he’d be with us wearing any special clothing so we’d change & take it home when we’d take him back to his home after we’d been out of the home.

The lady residents looked smart, clean & well dressed! It is a pain in the butt to have to shop for your relative, or spend time sewing in name label tabs, but it’s part of having your parent in a care home.

It is a shame about the clothes but they will get hammered. I felt sad that my mum went from wearing her nice normal clothes to wearing jogging pants and t shirts.
but that is the reality of the disease progression and change of needs. She needed comfy clothes the staff could easily remove and they required washing a lot. The care home were great, and always tried to dress up the residents but there are limits.

Can i add my tuppence worth?
I’m an RN in aged care ( in Australia), and if my residents clothing was regularly soiled with urine or faeces, I’d be thinking about reviewing the continence aids they are using, or altering their toileting regime.
Being incontinent does not have to mean that clothing gets routinely soiled.

Aged care facilities use industrial washer and dryers, on hot. They are tough on the clothes. If this is a frequent problem with every residents clothing, then they need to look at their facilities.
If it's a one off, then while it's annoying, you have to acknowledge that some fabrics are just not suited.

If it's upsetting you that much, take the clothes home and wash them yourself. (I'm not being snarky, some families do choose to do this).

I've worked in a commercial laundry which did the laundry for several care homes, and honestly it's just go, go, go and there is no time to check washing instructions. It all goes in together and the washing and drying is not a delicate operation! Honestly, just be grateful that someone (very likely not well paid) is doing the work and you don't have to deal with it yourself.

@Broonzma I do not wish to go into detail on an open forum. But basically it’s guaranteed that at some point bodily fluids will escape whatever protection is in place.
it may be due to lack of staff, another emergency cropping up, poor medical equipment, dementia (some can move so fast - think toddler and food fights only not with food), or a plain leakage accident or illness (vomiting etc).

@Annoyeddd The carer you spoke to either was extremely new or ignorant. She should know the law and infection control procedures.
And please don’t be so daft as to think that the same temperatures apply to skin. For your information 44 c is the max permissible temp from a hot water outlet where there are vulnerable persons who may come into contact with the water supply.
If you are unhappy with the laundry, I’m sure the home will be more than happy to let you take all her laundry home to wash and return.

Are you serious?
Actually visiting

They have to wash everything on a boil wash its regulations so you'll have to provide clothes that can be boil washed. Fleeces instead of wool, that kind of thing.

You are absolutely right Broomzilla

In this case though OP said it happened the once in the time her DM had been there. We all know that catheters and stoma bags can leak, as occasionally do inco pads. And that care homes and hospital wards are rife sometimes when noro or even just diarrhoea and vomiting bugs (stomach viruses) can spread quickly without highly efficient infection control. So it sounds like it could have been a one off upset stomach, which disproportionately affects an older person with slow mobility who cannot get to toilet on time. An inco pad won't hold all of that and clothes can get soiled. Some people who find it hard to fully clean themselves who can usually use toilet themselves can end up transferring it onto clothing via hands.

There are a multiple of non neglectful reasons that someone's clothes can get spiked and need a boil or hot wash.

We don't know if this is what occurred, but it has a higher than average possibility. That's why OP being snarky about the care home's laundry service included is disappointing to read. They are not a specialist laundry service nor a specialist chef restaurant either, they will have as the fees charged is for good care not specialist other services. So unless OP is paying nearer £2k a week for placement, the carehome won't have funds to pay for that level of extra quality servicees (whilst that would be lovely!) , above good care. It'll be carers putting items into laundry machines and driers following infection control /hygiene rules, not dedicated laundry staff.

I do feel sorry for care home staff who get complained about for doing their jobs which are busy enough already.

AIBU in thinking you destroyed them you replace them (the home fees do not come cheap).

Yes YABU

They didn't destroy them, you bought clothes with unsuitable washing instructions. There is no liability here for this one off. If they were boiling unsoiled clothes regularly then I could see a pattern but as a one off, In a regular hot wash, I suspect you chose too delicate clothes.

As it’s a ‘one off ‘then the home has actually done a great job with their laundry.
Let it go OP and in future provide more user friendly clothes!!
Do you have any idea about the logistics of ensuring the residents have multiple clean clothes every day?

They have to wash everything on a boil wash its regulations so you'll have to provide clothes that can be boil washed. Fleeces instead of wool, that kind of thing.

I am curious to know what clothes can be washed at 60 degrees and above? I can’t recall seeing that on any of the clothes’ washing instructions in this house?

They shouldn't be boil washing normal fabrics, surely most things would shrink?! I wouldn't be replacing them either, they'll just do it again.

Washing natural fabrics like cotton or wool at 60 degrees may cause them to shrink. However, washing man-made, synthetic fabrics such as polyester and nylon will most likely not shrink if washed at 60 degrees.
from the clean living website.

Have you not read the thread? ???!!!!It is law to wash at these high temperatures. Seriously, care home staff aren’t doing this to piss you off or for fun. It’s for the health and safety of all residents, staff and visitors.
once In two years is absolutely nothing to get upset about, and the home will be more than happy for you to do all your loved ones laundry yourself, in your own home.

You ate not being unreasonable but, in my experience, care homes are very careless with clothing and it needs replacing much more than usual. My uncle's clothing constantly disappeared with all kinds of excuses and I was requested to replace it. Flood in laundry and clothing was trapped in filthy water, clothing washed in too hot a wash, clothing just disappeared- it was all labelled and I insisted they checked other residents clothing and, sure enough, it was in the wrong rooms. The worst were pyjamas, jogging bottoms and vests/pants- I bought 6 of each at a time and within 2 months they would say he was short. Same with toiletries- I always made sure he had 3 months worth and it would just disappear. When I complained formally, stuff miraculously re-appeared and it all stopped.