To send her all of the messages

[Mylifeinpart]

I'm so mad at the moment. Someone I was in love with and dated last year has been in touch alot recently. We ended because he wouldn't go public with our relationship. He been sending messages asking to date. Saying he was busy with work but as soon as he has time would like to see me. Telling me he loves me etc. Last message received was 2 days ago. Yesterday he posted being on holiday with his girlfriend!! Tagged her too. Clearly I've been a side interest that he has now publicly dumped without telling me. I'm shocked that he would do this and think I wouldn't message her? Also how can he treat me like this?

Absolutely tell her. I'd want to know. The sooner she knows, she can be risk aware.

Was his name graham lol

Ugh. You say he is famous? I don't know what I would do to be perfectly honest.

But is it not scrambled eggs on your head?😂

The best way to do this is to tell a mutual friend if you have one, or friend of a friend, preferably over coffee where you can show her the messages. That way you don't get blamed and don't get involved.

Ugh, no, no, no.

If you want to tell, tell. Don't start involving strangers to try to get them to do the dirty work and get any flak instead of you. It wouldn't work anyway. The friend will obviously say she got the info from OP and now OP's the person who invites people out just to gossip and share evidence about other people's private lives.

If you're going to do it, retain as much dignity and discretion as possible for yourself and the girlfriend. Just be honest and straightforward. None of this underhanded crap.

Do you actually have her number?

I thought this was going to be some sort of home-made spell to start off with 😚😏

Why would a mutual friend be a "stranger"?

This. I don’t receive FB messages from anyone I’m not already friends with. Any messages sent from strangers go into a separate folder somewhere that I haven’t looked at for years, not sure if I could even find that folder now.
I’m not interested in messages from random people

Don't do it while they're on holiday. I've known a few friends experience domestic violence for the first time whilst on holiday, for whatever reason, and the women can't get away as easily.

But yes, I would send them when they're back.

Agree that you should contact her, the suggestion that it is once back from holiday is a wise one.

There are some men (and a few women possibly) who deserve and should be single for a long time because of their behaviour.

I was referring more to the "friend of a friend" with that. But even if this third party knows everyone in question, it's still disrespectful, indiscreet, dishonest and manipulative.

Tell or don't tell. But if you do, be honest and straightforward about it. None of this wangling in other people so you can pretend it wasn't anything to do with you. Nobody wants to know that the OW, even if an unwitting one, was sharing this kind of stuff around.

ReneBumsWombat I was referring more to the "friend of a friend" with that. But even if this third party knows everyone in question, it's still disrespectful, indiscreet, dishonest and manipulative.

Tell or don't tell. But if you do, be honest and straightforward about it. None of this wangling in other people so you can pretend it wasn't anything to do with you. Nobody wants to know that the OW, even if an unwitting one, was sharing this kind of stuff around.

I absolutely disagree from a moral perspective. This man is endangering peoples' health with his lies and probably their mental health too.

The OP owes him no duty whatsoever to keep his nasty little secrets.

People like him do tend to get an awful reputation sooner or later. Their modus operandi depends on people saying nothing and being complicit in his lies, sooner or later this inevitably breaks down and its better the more people that know the better, so he can be avoided.

If you sleep around and cheat, people will gossip about you sooner or later, particularly if you are so blatant about it on social media as this guy.

He literally tells lies to get women to have sex with him. The OP is very unlikely to be the last.

It doesn't sound like you were ever in a relationship, OP.

Let your conscience be your guide.

My conscience could not justify sharing sensitive information with other people in an attempt to deflect any consequence from myself. That would compound any hurt and embarrassment. I'd tell her in as discreet, honest and sensitive a way as possible, or I'd stay out of it entirely.

This is a really sensible post.

Definitely tell her but make sure you send proof so he can't wiggle out of it or say the famous 'she was all over me I wasn't interested.'

But make sure you do it for the right reasons, to make sure she can make an informed decision about her future which she deserves. Not out of spite to ruin his life, even though you probably will do that and rightly so.

I'm very petty and would do it, but only because I'm a fight fire with fire person.

Tell her, you'd want to know if you were her.

I'm going to just block him. It's painful and hurtful.

ManateeFair I think you need to be clear in your head that you are the 'other woman' here, not her, so tread carefully.

Probably a good idea on his part to get the consent of the woman he's sleeping with for her to be the "other woman".

This was my boyfriend who I was dating again. I had no idea that had started dating someone else. He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me. We had plans for when his work calmed down. For him to just post about another girlfriend is hurtful confusing and has really upset me. I am not the other woman we both are.

I would tell her, this guy needs to stop screwing people over

I can't I'm really suffering mentally from what this bastard has done