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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nursery shouldn't be using my child's clothes for other children?

58 replies

Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:05

So this has happened a few times and I'm not sure whether I should let it go or say something.

We have an app where pictures get uploaded from the day for parents to view. My son goes to nursery twice a week and I leave a coat there for him, I don't bother bringing it back and forth when he goes so it stays there on his peg all week for use when he's in and he has another at home for there. It has his name in it.

I've noticed recently that on pictures when my son isn't there another child will be in his coat, I know it's his because it has a mark on it which is noticeable. This can be when they go to the park etc... So possibly getting dirty when the children are playing.

AIBU to find this annoying and to ask nursery not to use his coat for other children? I'm not made of money and if it gets ripped or dirty when worn by another child I don't want to have to pay to replace it.

It's on his peg (they have one each) and has his name in so I don't believe it's just a mistake. I'm assuming other children forget their coats sometimes so they just use my son's as a spare when he's not there.

OP posts:
LiamNeesonIsADerryGirl · 04/07/2022 09:07

Bring it home with you.

ImAvingOops · 04/07/2022 09:08

Tell them not to. I'd just bring the coat home tbh and send it in when he goes to nursery. I think it's really cheeky and they ought to be telling other parents to send their kids properly supplied.

Original poster
Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:09

LiamNeesonIsADerryGirl · 04/07/2022 09:07

Bring it home with you.

We did originally do this but it was getting left or forgotten because sometimes I take him, sometimes his dad does, sometimes my mum picks him up and so on... It's easier to leave it there for him and just not move it so we know he always has one there.

OP posts:
HSKAT · 04/07/2022 09:09

Just take it home

HSKAT · 04/07/2022 09:10

Keep in his nursery bag then it won't be forgotten

Colinthesnail · 04/07/2022 09:11

They should have their own generic spare clothing and other parents should provide what their child needs in the first place. My kids nursery asked for donations of outgrown stuff for precisely this purpose.

I’d let a one off go but if it’s happened several times I think it’s fine to pull them up on it. (It is definitely “his” peg even when he’s not there? Because at my child’s nursery they only had a peg on the days they were actually there, it was another part time child’s on the other days and I can see how staff could get confused in that scenario.)

Original poster
Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:11

HSKAT · 04/07/2022 09:10

Keep in his nursery bag then it won't be forgotten

Nursery bag stays there too which seems to be what all the other parents do. It only comes home if the spares in it are used at which point we bring it back, wash everything and then send him in with new spares to keep there until they are used again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:12

Colinthesnail · 04/07/2022 09:11

They should have their own generic spare clothing and other parents should provide what their child needs in the first place. My kids nursery asked for donations of outgrown stuff for precisely this purpose.

I’d let a one off go but if it’s happened several times I think it’s fine to pull them up on it. (It is definitely “his” peg even when he’s not there? Because at my child’s nursery they only had a peg on the days they were actually there, it was another part time child’s on the other days and I can see how staff could get confused in that scenario.)

It's definitely his peg, they all have one each (it's a small nursery) and it has his name on the peg.

OP posts:
HairyScaryMonster · 04/07/2022 09:12

Can you keep it in a carrier bag on his peg so it's less tempting? And mention it to the nursery. They shouldn't be using it.

Cuwins · 04/07/2022 09:13

As a 1 off I wouldn't mind but I think it would be fair enough to say something if it has happened several times

Original poster
Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:14

Cuwins · 04/07/2022 09:13

As a 1 off I wouldn't mind but I think it would be fair enough to say something if it has happened several times

Yes I wouldn't mind a one off but it seems to be happening more than that and I don't want it to become a habit 'oh X isn't here today so just use his'.

I'll try putting it in a carrier bag

OP posts:
HSKAT · 04/07/2022 09:16

Just put it in his bag that stays at nursery.

Original poster
Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:19

HSKAT · 04/07/2022 09:16

Just put it in his bag that stays at nursery.

It isn't big enough. It's only a small children's bag.

OP posts:
SouthOfFrance · 04/07/2022 09:22

Put it in a carrier bag on his peg like others have said. Out of sight out of mind

Whynotnowbaby · 04/07/2022 09:23

Just talk to them, say you have noticed another child wearing ds’s coat and we’re wondering why. Ask them not to do it again. In my school we have, just once or twice, had to borrow spare clothes from another child’s set when the child who needs them hasn’t had their own. We always let the parent who owns the original clothes know and ask that the borrowing child’s family washes and returns the clothes the following day. I would definitely not do this on a regular basis it is an emergency only situation.

Sswhinesthebest · 04/07/2022 09:23

Yes I’d mention it.

2bazookas · 04/07/2022 09:27

Tell the nursery, show photo proof and ask the head to remind all staff NOT to dress kids in other childrens clothes.

If they keep doing it, don't leave clothes on the premises.

2bazookas · 04/07/2022 09:29

It isn't big enough. It's only a small children's bag..

Then make a cotton draw-string bag with DC's name on, and hang it on his peg.
When I was at school every child kept one at school, it was called a shoe bag.

IncompleteSenten · 04/07/2022 09:30

I'd start bringing it home and making it part of morning checklist so it doesn't get forgotten. Nobody forgets to put his shoes on, do they? There's no reason the coat can't be treated the same.

If you ask them not to use it, all you can be sure of is that they won't post any more pictures of kids wearing it.

PeanutButterOnToad · 04/07/2022 09:33

This would maybe irrationally really annoy me as well. Just tell the nursery that you noticed from the photos that other children are wearing your son's coat and you are not happy about it. Nurseries should have plenty of their own "spare clothing".

MaggieFS · 04/07/2022 09:34

Ideally bring it home, but if you really can't for the reasons you've given, have a word with them. Call them out on it and say you can't afford to cover wear and tear caused by someone else.

AngelinaFibres · 04/07/2022 09:35

Clothing1 · 04/07/2022 09:09

We did originally do this but it was getting left or forgotten because sometimes I take him, sometimes his dad does, sometimes my mum picks him up and so on... It's easier to leave it there for him and just not move it so we know he always has one there.

Show quote history

Your choice is right there.
Leave it and accept that it is used by other children
Take it home and accept that you may forget to take it......at which point your son will wear another child's coat that was left on a peg.

Or speak to nursery staff......and be ' that' parent.

Mally100 · 04/07/2022 09:37

So if another child is using it, that means your ds isn't? Especially if the weather calls for it. That would piss me off more. Definitely mention it and if it continues then just bring it home everyday.

INeedANewNameAgain · 04/07/2022 09:38

Lol at the suggestion you need to 'make' a drawstring shoe bag as if that's a reasonable solution.

It should be that his things are only used for him. You don't just borrow other people's belongings without asking!!! Even if they aren't there. And if you do, you know you shouldn't.

I would 100% just ask nursery not to do this.

Shiningstarr · 04/07/2022 09:38

The point here, is you shouldn't have to take it home if it's easier and more convenient to leave it at nursery.

The nursery staff SHOULD NOT be using it for other children, what an absolute cheek!

I would definitely pull them up on it, what right have they got to use your son's coat for someone else?? I'd be really annoyed!

I would show them the photo, and say you're not happy that his coat has been used for another child, and can this please stop.

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