Is Instagram all seeking validation?

[BiFoldChampion]

I used to Insta a lot…but recently I thought what am I seeking from Insta?

Ive been working on the concept of ‘seeking validation’ with my therapist and I’ve got it into my head that posting on Instagram is just people seeking validation? AIBu? Why do you post on Instagram?

everytime now I want to post/think about posting I don’t bother cos well why am I doing it?

also the validation piece runs very deep with me- changing my behaviours - seeking approval etc etc

insta is one small part.

That is a lovely idea. I know people who set up Facebook pages for their kids back in the day for similar purposes. They have kind of dropped them now for privacy purposes but it was a nice idea.

Validation, recognition. The big difference are if people post on anonymous forums like this or are totally happy to bring attention to most definitely themselves. I like MN for a wide range of opinions, I certainly don't agree with them all. But we have no idea who people are. One of my friends uses instagram and it is all about personal validation and attention and after compliments. I have looked a couple of times. She has been my friend for 25 years. She tells me the difficult stuff, her insta does not reflect this at all

A picture of her artfully arranged breakfast on a balcony in the sun and a comment about how great the day will be because she is meeting a friend later. Her personal life is in tatters, hardcore misery. Love life, housing situation, professional life, relationship with her adult children.

YANBU. And people used to say adverts in magazines promote unrealistic beauty standards..it’s absolutely toxic.

I think in most cases yes although most won't admit that.

I Instagram to keep a diary of my life. With songs. I lost my dad as a kid and I want my children to have something that can’t be stolen by relatives or lost and has my voice and tone and so they can have an understanding of who I am. Its to show who I am to them if maybe one day I can’t. My own mum doesn’t pass down stories of my dad, I’d love to have access to something like his Instagram (even though he died 30 years ago!)

Do you keep backups?

Admittedly I used to really like insta but I hate the way FB messed with the algorithms because of course it has to be about money, so don't use it any more.

Love pinterest though.

I only occasionally post on Instagram and that's usually when I've taken a photo of something interesting or been somewhere nice so mine are mostly landscape or nature photos with the odd funny photo of my daughter. I like to share nice pictures and that's what I see Instagram as being for.....it's certainly what I look at it for.
I really don't understand the people posting clips of them cleaning their house as if they have just invented the concept of cleaning as a 'ritual for a positive mindset' or people who post a constant stream of heavily filtered selfies. To me the former is worryingly sexist twaddle (it's always women performing the cleaning ritual) and the latter is a desperate cry for approval.
Facebook can be a useful tool for keeping in loose touch with people not close enough to be in regular contact and can also be very revealing of people with dodgy /extreme views.

An example being I am friends with a girl who is away on a girl’s weekend - all they’ve done is Insta it and I’m like flipping eck girls just enjoy it!!!!! Stop the Insta put your phones down and enjoy the weekend - feel blessed you have friends and you’re away together!!!

A few have said this and I'm surprised about how many people are closed off to their own desires for attention and recognition.
You're forgetting the key part about your choice to publish the photo album and personal photo albums can be kept on all smart phones and shared with select family members etc. It's totally normal to want attention and approval to some extent and others need more than others so completely denying its existence comes across as a bit disingenuous.
My experience is that posting is almost exclusively a validation seeking behaviour and out of all of my peers, those who post regularly (more than 3 times a week) are the most unhappy. It actually makes me quite sad to think about- I used to get really angry about it all but now I think, if it's giving them
a bit of joy then 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks @court3 & in all honesty you are right. If not validation directly I was seeking it through my postings in other ways. People would say oh @BiFoldChampion arent you good for recording things and posting events but these people would be at the same events and not post a thing!

Or a wedding but I would be the only family member to post it - in some ways so peopel would say oh @BiFoldChampion well done for getting those pics up! So I’ve decided I will ask people to take more pics of me so I do have some thing to show my kids rather than me recording memories for others!!

My Insta is pretty much exclusively wildlife and nature photography. Instagram is an excellent way to connect with other wildlife photographers, share info and tips, and find out about wildlife photography competitions and exhibitions.

If your Insta feed is all pouting selfies (which I don't even think is a bad thing - let people do whatever they like) then that says more about you than about Instagram.

OP, it sounds like excessive or inappropriate validation-seeking is a particular issue that you've identified in therapy and of course your therapist should work on that, but wanting validation is not inherently a bad thing - it's a normal, natural part of being a human being. It may be that your therapist has identified that social media is effecting you negatively (which it does for many people) and is trying to discourage you - which is good, it's their job to steer you away from things that hurt you - but therapists should not be generalising or encouraging you to view the whole world through such a narrow viewpoint.

It's how you use it that's key. I would never dismiss the whole concept completely. It's a lovely way to connect if done in a healthy non addictive manner.

I post photos / videos related to niche sports, and I follow people who produce similar content - whether personal or business. We're spread all over the world, but we get to share ideas, techniques, drills, and learn about the sport and its history in different parts of the world.

I also follow a few people who share their photography / art - if they're seeking validation, or trying to forge a career, I don't care, I still like seeing it

There is definitely an element of validation seeking when you post on social media. I posted to be validated and did not like the self comparisons I began to make. It was affecting my mental health.

I left two platforms several years ago. I do not care about what I am supposedly missing, who is doing what and with whom. I see and speak to those I am friends with and the remainder do not matter as they were only online acquaintances. I do not need to have a window into the lives of people I would never call/text or meet for a coffee.

I took a step back from Instagram for about a year or so because it just seemed to be causing me anxiety. Sometimes it does just feel like showing off. Breaking point for me was when someone (29 years old) posted their new house they bought and said "we're finally adults!". That just really annoyed me... I work, rent, and pay my bills, how is that not adulthood. So I took a break.

When I went back to it recently, I massively culled my Instagram followers on the basis of "if I passed this person in the supermarket, would we say hello to each other? Would we stop for a chat?". If yes, I kept them. If no, we have no reason to be looking at each other's lives. It's way nicer now.

There is one person who posts every movement she makes. I find that odd - for example she'll go out for an anniversary dinner with her partner and there's before pics, pics of their presents to each other, in the car, in the restaurant, of the food, outside the restaurant, selfie in the pub after etc... I just click through wondering who could possibly be interested in all of that. I also think she should just put the phone down and enjoy the moment sometimes but that's her business I guess...

Some people i know post every single day. One in particular. Daily excercise, meals, pics of kids etc

Every day? Banal crap? That's just not good for you is it

Majority of my friends are international so its a great way of keeping in touch with what they are up to and being able to post a pic or video once so they can all see it. They often to go to music events I can't so I get to see their videos of how it was and vice versa. Its most definitely is not bout seeking validation for myself or my friends.

I feel depressed I think not posting cos that validation meant something to me plus I just like to post. I’m feeling a bit hard done by not posting if that makes sense! I don’t know what I’m doing!!

I think it can be about validation but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If people are happy they can do what they like.

For me personally I took the decision that I don’t need social media. It doesn’t add anything to my life but it costs me my precious time. Plus I think it made me quite lazy with family and friends that I don’t see often. I used to use them as a bit of an excuse for staying on social media but there was very little interaction other than the odd like or comment. Now I stay in touch properly. I message and ask how they are. It’s really much nicer.

Nope, I have about 40 folders in my phone so I like to put in Instagram only what I would like to save if my phone is lost. I don’t care if my family sees them, I don’t think they are aware I have an account and I am not posting under my name either so I can confirm I do not give a flying fig.

My instagram is for my in laws, they live on the other side of the world, so it’s been an easy way for them to see photos of DD. My mil & pil are my only 2 followers & I don’t accept any follow requests.
I follow pages that show things to do/restaurants/ hobbies close to where I live & that’s about it

Mine is just for me really - and it's bloody boring pictures of landscapes and flowers. I don't use it much but wankily I'd say it's to curate my favourite photos!