Is Instagram all seeking validation?

[BiFoldChampion]

I used to Insta a lot…but recently I thought what am I seeking from Insta?

Ive been working on the concept of ‘seeking validation’ with my therapist and I’ve got it into my head that posting on Instagram is just people seeking validation? AIBu? Why do you post on Instagram?

everytime now I want to post/think about posting I don’t bother cos well why am I doing it?

also the validation piece runs very deep with me- changing my behaviours - seeking approval etc etc

insta is one small part.

It’s so annoying. There’s really nothing to say that hasn’t been said, so most people really don’t need to comment 😄 it’s virtue signalling.

I don’t have any followers and I just post random things that have made me happy. It started as a way to remember all the things that make life worth living after a bad bout of depression (and I have a bad memory) and I’ve kept it up because I like looking back at the small things when life feels pointless.

What does showing up here and now look like? Taking photos of the moment for yourself and purposely not posting them on social media?

Yanbu.

I have a friend who posts a lot. You can tell its seeking validation from others, because I'm not on there, but look at some accounts on anonymous viewers, and friend in question always whatsapps me the pictures she posts on instagram with exactly the same message/caption, like she can't bear that there's an acquaintance who hasn't seen this weeks photo of her angelic daughter or cute dog. She doesn't ever text me about anything else!

I've never really seen the point of Instagram for personal accounts.

That’s what I do! Also just putting down your phone completely for a few hours and playing with your kids or whatever. I’m terrible for coming up with captions etc while things are happening around me. I sometimes type a post and then delete it to get it out of my system. Such an insta addict, it’s a process to wean oneself off 😄

I worry people will think I don’t do anything if I don’t put it on insta. But

1. the coolest and most interesting people I know don’t use social media
2. i didn’t put anything of my last pregnancy online and felt so free and empowered and sure of myself. I don’t post my kids at all now
3. I hate when you’re in person and like ‘oh we went here at the weekend’ and the person you’re talking to is like ‘yeah I saw on Instagram!’ And then that’s the end of the conversation 😄
4. I hate being tethered to my phone all the time, it’s bad enough that banking, groceries, to do lists, school comms are done through my phone. I really don’t want to added time of insta (and mumsnet!!! Bloody hate it here 😂😂 but it’s so useful!)

5.also found soooo many amazing businesses, exhibitions, shows etc through insta! Haven’t been on FB for years as that truly is a cesspool but still have an account for the community board!

I don’t use Instagram but I have some Facebook friends who I don’t really see any more much as they live overseas, so posting occasionally is a way to keep in touch with what one another are up to.

Maybe some people use Instagram in a similar way?

Thinking about it; wanting some form of validation just means you’re human- nobody is an island. It’s only when it becomes part of other less healthy behaviours which you’re recognising from your therapy op that it’s an issue

Looking at my Insta page, I have 50 ish followers, the same 1-5 people will look at my occasional stories, might like a photo. So if I used it for validation I don't get much. I post pictures of a dramatic sky, a nice pie I have made, sometimes the kids, or an interesting angle on an ordinary item. I do like getting likes but I don't think I am in need of validation I don't tend to seek it much. I am a bit of a contrarian. The people following me on face book have known 15-30+ years so I am not trying to do anything other than say "hey, I am here and still alive, this is a nice picture of a sunset" I don't like loads of stuff on insta either, FB is how I keep in touch with my six siblings and various nieces and nephews, and find out about gigs.

Function over validation for me I think. But I do understand your point op, I just think it is like any potential addiction, wine is nice but if you need it to get through breakfast there is a problem.

I think a lot of people are just very jnterested and invested in themselves. They are quite literally their own hobby, and are using SM platforms to share their enthusiasm for themself. Oh look, here I am in a new dress... here I am at the gym etc.
An interesting extension of this is when people decide to stop, they dont just move away from it they seek reasons as to why they did it in the first place, which is just more of the same interest in themselves.
Nothing wrong with that, as long as its not obsessive or making you miserable. But it's not that deep really. Vanity, self interest and a desire to be admired, which all human beings have to some extent.

I agree @BiFoldChampion I’ve just bought a new build home so follow mainly homes from the same builder. 90% of the posts are people showing off what they’ve bought/decorated/new garden etc. I rarely post and am just on there for a nosy. My next door neighbour posts so I look at hers (she’s got lovely taste)

Yes most often social media is used for validation. In the main I don’t mind that and enjoy watching other people’s nice stuff from life because I enjoy people. However I like Insta reels but I don’t love some of the stuff that comes up. I have child with a disability and it makes me feel really uncomfortable when people use their disabled child to garner validation for themselves.

It certainly is.
If you post pictures of family events, your wedding, new baby, house etc you want likes and positive comments. Silence is almost as bad as people saying something negative. Silence means you are not worthy of other people's attention , or that their lives are so busy and fabulous, that they haven't even noticed thst you have posted/ exist. And down you spiral
If you post a political opinion you are ,presumably, hoping others will say " brilliantly put", " you are so right. I wish I could say things as well as that". If you get negative/ nasty/ aggressive responses then down you spiral . I am so glad it wasn't around when I was young.

I think it's mostly about selling things, TBH.

Same here. I don't post on Instagram at all but use it to chat with people who have the same interests as me.

Hasn’t there been research that has found that nobody feels better about themselves after looking at social media? It’s particularly bad for teenage girls. There was an interesting doc on the BBC about instagram & it’s impact on mental health. I think the issue is that people post seeking validation but in doing so they make other people feel insecure who then need to post to seek validation too. So it becomes a viscous cycle.

I use it as a photo album, I just throw there my favourite photos so they are available without having to search them around thousands of photos on my phone.

I honestly do not give a fig about people likes or acceptance. For me Instagram is just a box for favourite photos.

Ints and mebook and twater are only used gy people who think the rest of the world is interested in them and their lives/opinions
They are narcissists who have no real life

What about people in strange poses?
Bending over in skimpy clorhes or hawking their DC on it?

I think all social media is about one or more of 3 things.
Validation
Attention
Getting people's money
😁

I agree with this, I cannot see how my interest in old building techniques and wall paint colours could be seen as seeking validation. It is just the way I choose to waste my time. 😁

I think you are right.

I have Instagram but I use it purely to watch fashion pages. Don't have any pictures up.

I have a friend of a friend who constantly puts pictures up of her half naked. She is really toned and in good shape and she writes things like "and everyone said you couldn't get your body back after having a baby" or "everyone says your life is over after having a baby" and puts pics up of her out doing loads of stuff. She seems as if she's got it all - as if she is managing to look after her baby, somehow have the energy to go out doing loads of sports, go to the gym and off to festivals.

The truth is is that her MIL is bringing her baby up. She is severely depressed and has her baby about 2 x a week. Assuming she is seeking validation from everyone to agree with how amazing her body is, how she is "living the dream". She seems adamant to prove how brilliant her life is when it's not...I think a lot of people try to make it seem as if they are very exciting etc.

I always think for what reason?! What are they getting out of this. It just stinks of desperation, a need for attention.

It's just a diary for me. It's just a platform where I can post all my favourite pictures. I don't seek validation from it. I also use it for fashion and makeup/skincare inspiration.