To think it doesn't matter if fiance sees dress before wedding

[Dowhatdowullywup]

We are having a registry office just us our two dc and two witnesses.

As I'm having no bridesmaids etc to go shopping with and trust my oh opinion I have shown him dress options and ultimately the dress I'll be wearing on the day

I know a lot of people say its bad luck and 'don't you want to see his face when he sees you on the day'

AIBU to think this is a bit outdated? Anyone elses partner see their dress before the 'big day'?

As you say tradition is its unlucky. But then you may have walked under a ladder or stepped on the crack in the pavement. It's all just superstition. Many people live together before the wedding so its not really that practical to keep it secret.

Nope. It's an item of clothing. It has no control over your life or how it turns out.

Congrats!🙂enjoy your wedding day!

My now husband saw mine before the wedding. Whenever I tell people most of them are surprises and say how it's bad luck but I don't believe I superstitions.

I mean, it was amazing to see DHs face when I walked down the aisle, but there was so much more going on than just the dress.

The emotions, the atmosphere, the knowledge of what you're about to do with each other, the whole build up and everything else contribute to that 'look' on his face.

I had seen DHs suit before the wedding as I had helped choose it but he still blew me away on the day.

Plus, you'll probably look different anyways once you've got the shoes, hair and makeup done, jewellery, tan or whatever else you're planning on doing.

Oh and the staff in the wedding dress shop were most shocked when he came to the shop to see it. They said it was the first time they'd come across it.

Of course it’s ok, whatever way you want to do it is ok. If you’re wanting to keep it a surprise you could always find a couple you both likes then go back without him and pick one out.

Well you won’t be waking down the aisle in the registry office will you so I don’t see the problem.

I wore jeans and we all went in the same car.

Just superstition innit really. I suppose I like the idea of keeping it a "secret" but is that because we've been groomed to present our "best" on our wedding day? I saw DHs suit beforehand, there's no expectation on men to keep their outfits a secret!

My best friend and his wife did a "first look" set of photos before their ceremony and everyone saw her. I thought that was beautiful!

Do what makes you both happy OP. Have a lovely wedding day. 😊💒

it's not bad luck to see the dress, it's bad luck to see the bride in the dress! it's also not bad luck at all, because there is no such thing.

My DH saw my dress before the wedding because I wore it a couple of times on a night out with him prior to the wedding.
Obviously it wasn't a traditional wedding dress, just a normal dress. I didn't buy it intending to marry in it to be fair.
Forty years later, I'm still stuck with him! ( He's lovely really )

Showed my husband to be mine as soon as I’d brought it home - wanted him to like it!! Like others have said it’s so different on the day. Btw you’re doing the exact same thing as us, we are getting married in October. Congrats 🥳

I showed mine off as soon as I brought it home! I kept trying it on before the wedding. I'm not into secrets

There's no need to bother with wedding traditions if you don't want to. DH and I travelled to our wedding together so there were no outfit surprises for us.

My mum took my dad to choose her dress. That was in 1965.

I bought my wedding dress off ebay weeks ago, for our registry office wedding in October. It's in our shared wardrobe. He knows it's there. He won't look because that's just not him. But we'll all be getting ready in the same house that morning so he's likely to see it before the registry office. Each to their own I reckon. This is my second marriage, his first and there are loads of traditions we're not bothering with.
Congratulations 🎊 hope you have an amazing day x

Mine helped me choose mine (just over 30 years ago). I appreciated the help as I didn't really know what I was looking for (I wasn't a very dressy person at the time). I also helped him choose a suit and a tie to wear. A couple of people said they were surprised I didn't want to surprise him but nobody said it was bad luck and I wouldn't have changed my plans if they did.

Thanks ladies

@Vallmo47 aw really! A lot of my friends don't understand it and want me to have a bigger do at a later date but I have two small babies and want the marriage not necessarily the big show of a wedding. I'm still really enjoying organising it all and we are going to go to a swanky restaurant afterwards. I'm excited!
Congratulations to you!

I think it's lovely that you're doing what's right for you instead of mindlessly following superstitious/patriarchal nonsense.

@Dowhatdowullywup Sounds exactly like me to be honest. I hate being centre of attention, the vow part of wedding makes me get dizzy spells with nerves and all I want is to make him my husband with my two kids there as witnesses (plus 2 official witnesses- our living parents). We are going for a meal afterwards with the closest family which I’m looking forward to. People want us to do it so very differently but it’s not for me at all. We might compromise and rent a very cheap venue for an evening or just meet people in a pub for a drink or three. ;) I’m not expecting a thing off guests, this is about him & me and our two kids.
Sounds like we think very alike!

Mine saw mine on the day so we did have that lovely surprise moment when I had had my hair and make up done too but he first saw me at the hotel so the surprise was just between us with no-one else to see. We walked to the registry office together and had a lovely simple wedding! You have to do what works for you. I think our day shows if doesn't have to be no surprise at all or a big traditional showy surprise, there is a middle ground.

It's nobody else's business! You do what suits you.

I'd like to think that the look of wonder or love or excitement or whatever it is people mean is caused by the groom thinking something like "wow, this amazing woman is going to be my wife soon and I'm so lucky to spend the rest of my life with her" rather than "wow, yeah, who'd have thought she scrubs up so well in the right dress".

@NotthatKindofpickle 😂 exactly

If it doesn't matter to you, that's fine.

If it does matter to someone else, surely that's fine, too.