Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog ban

77 replies

tootoasty · 03/07/2022 10:48

Brief context:
Adult Ds has been living at gfs parents. They have a dog, as do we. Similar sizes and breeds. Always bring dog round, we allow dog access all areas, just as we do our dog. Have had issues of it weeing on carpet and stuff but always just shrugged it off as dogs will be dogs.
They have now moved into own home and have said no dogs (other than their dog) allowed in home. They've not really given a reason, just the rule.

Need some opinions on this.

I'm not bothered. I'm of the thought, their home their rules. To be honest, I've never taken my dog to any one's house anyway.

However my DH is fuming. Says it's double standards and is annoyed that they'll still expect to bring their dog here. This morning, pissed off, he's told them fine, but don't bring your dog back here again.

I think he's being over the top and risking a fall out but friends think he's completely right.

What's Mumsnets thoughts

OP posts:
rickandmorts · 03/07/2022 12:42

Oh god that's pathetic that son's gf has flounced out your lighthearted group chat, especially when the convo wasn't even conducted on there 😂. Leave them to it, as pp have said they're cutting their noses off to spite their faces, especially if you looked after their dog when they went away. Dog sitters are bloody expensive and get booked up so far in advance!

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 12:47

rickandmorts · 03/07/2022 12:42

Oh god that's pathetic that son's gf has flounced out your lighthearted group chat, especially when the convo wasn't even conducted on there 😂. Leave them to it, as pp have said they're cutting their noses off to spite their faces, especially if you looked after their dog when they went away. Dog sitters are bloody expensive and get booked up so far in advance!

Yes I plan to do so.
Ds has said, I'll just come and see you all on my own if she no longer wants to come. Not ideal and hopefully not a long standing thing but what can you do.

I'm assuming she feels that the dog not being welcome means she's not welcome but fails to see how it's the same the other way round.

To me is really something over nothing

OP posts:
Booklover3 · 03/07/2022 13:01

I think they are being strange…

CuglyFunt · 03/07/2022 13:16

I'd be pointing out to them how hurtful it is for them to let their dog piss on your furniture and not offer to clean / replace and then turn around and ban your pet from their home. It sends a message that they have no care for your belongings and believe their own home is superior.

And I'd be doing it to GFs face to watch her squirm.
But then I'm a cruel fucker.

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 13:27

CuglyFunt · 03/07/2022 13:16

I'd be pointing out to them how hurtful it is for them to let their dog piss on your furniture and not offer to clean / replace and then turn around and ban your pet from their home. It sends a message that they have no care for your belongings and believe their own home is superior.

And I'd be doing it to GFs face to watch her squirm.
But then I'm a cruel fucker.

I wish I was you Smile

OP posts:
Blowthemandown · 03/07/2022 13:55

@tootoasty while DH may have handled it badly he is right to draw attention to the double standards. Double standards are a pet peeve of mine. So, no, don’t let them bring the dog. Say ‘actually this seemed like double standards and it was annoying when your dog peed up our new chair and it’s probably to do with doggy territory so we thought we’d follow your lead’ (lead - no pun intended haha)

MatildaTheCat · 03/07/2022 14:07

Their dog sounds highly territorial. Twice on 14 years my dog has done this in other people’s homes. Both with dogs. I was absolutely mortified and have been on high alert ever since.

Keep it simple and leave dogs at home. GF sounds an immature idiot for flouncing out of the chat.

BadLad · 03/07/2022 14:47

Your DH handled it wrong.

If he had said something like "I think you're right. Probably best the dogs don't have to put up with other dogs coming into their house" it would have made the point in a much more passive aggressive less confrontational way.

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 14:56

BadLad · 03/07/2022 14:47

Your DH handled it wrong.

If he had said something like "I think you're right. Probably best the dogs don't have to put up with other dogs coming into their house" it would have made the point in a much more passive aggressive less confrontational way.

I'm inclined to agree Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 14:58

MatildaTheCat · 03/07/2022 14:07

Their dog sounds highly territorial. Twice on 14 years my dog has done this in other people’s homes. Both with dogs. I was absolutely mortified and have been on high alert ever since.

Keep it simple and leave dogs at home. GF sounds an immature idiot for flouncing out of the chat.

I don't take my dog to anyones house because I just wouldn't relax. He's well behaved but a dog.I have rather relax and have tea and cake without him! He comes to the pub but that's because he curls up under the chair. SmileWine

OP posts:
VenusClapTrap · 03/07/2022 15:11

I think you need to have a proper chat with your son, face to face over a coffee or something, and just ask him what’s going on. It all sounds a bit… barking…

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 15:16

VenusClapTrap · 03/07/2022 15:11

I think you need to have a proper chat with your son, face to face over a coffee or something, and just ask him what’s going on. It all sounds a bit… barking…

I definitely will. Been good to get some perspective

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 03/07/2022 15:25

I'm with your DH... and the GF sounds a right stropster!

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 15:30

harriethoyle · 03/07/2022 15:25

I'm with your DH... and the GF sounds a right stropster!

I think she's used to always getting her own way. We've always made her rally welcome, as well as the dog. I even buy her favourite chocolates in the weekly shop!
A friend of mine commented that she considers herself more of a daughter that a girlfriend and has maybe forgotten boundaries!

I dont know about that, just that I'm too old for this drama Sad

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 03/07/2022 15:33

I bet @tootoasty . It all sounds pretty tedious. On the plus side, more chocolate for you if you don't have to share anymore! 🍫

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 15:36

harriethoyle · 03/07/2022 15:33

I bet @tootoasty . It all sounds pretty tedious. On the plus side, more chocolate for you if you don't have to share anymore! 🍫

Absolutely!
It's even more so tedious because I wasn't even part of the conversation. I was out having afternoon tea with our daughters and have come back to this! 🤣
It'll come out In the wash I suppose!

OP posts:
EinsteinaGogo · 03/07/2022 15:59

Oh blimey, it seems a big fuss over nothing if you don't actually ever take your dog to their house anyway.

Why did your DS say your dog couldn't round if you hadn't asked anyway?

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 16:04

EinsteinaGogo · 03/07/2022 15:59

Oh blimey, it seems a big fuss over nothing if you don't actually ever take your dog to their house anyway.

Why did your DS say your dog couldn't round if you hadn't asked anyway?

They've only lived at their new house a few weeks. I said I don't take my dog to others houses.

In a conversation with my DH he's asked us not to bring dog round. Only visited twice as it is. May have decided to take dog round after a walk or at a family gathering like they always do here, but they've shut it down.

OP posts:
PutinIsAWarCriminal · 03/07/2022 16:08

They are just being a bit precious about their new home. I don't take my dogs visiting with me, and hate it when others bring their dogs to mine as it causes too much of a commotion.

Notonthestairs · 03/07/2022 16:11

The problem isn't the dog ban, it's the double standards and lack of care for the Op's home & belongings.

I'm fascinated that the GF has flounced off the family chat. I suspect she'll regret that as clearly you do generally get on pretty well.

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 16:17

Notonthestairs · 03/07/2022 16:11

The problem isn't the dog ban, it's the double standards and lack of care for the Op's home & belongings.

I'm fascinated that the GF has flounced off the family chat. I suspect she'll regret that as clearly you do generally get on pretty well.

Me too. At first I was mortified but now I'm laughing at the fact at some point she we'll need to be invited back in.

She's very close to my dds (older teens) and ha apparently gone quiet towards them. They think it's ridiculous so maybe it's plain immaturity on her part. I'll leave her too burn it off and deal directly with my ds. It would be a shame if she felt she doesn't want to be around us but for now my dams and other children are my priority.

Im also well aware that my ds is part of this and am by know means making her the scapegoat of their assumed joint decision!

OP posts:
DillonPanthersFNL · 03/07/2022 16:21

Is she pissed off she wasn't invited to afternoon tea?

Original poster
tootoasty · 03/07/2022 16:22

DillonPanthersFNL · 03/07/2022 16:21

Is she pissed off she wasn't invited to afternoon tea?

Exactly what 17 year old said!!

OP posts:
DillonPanthersFNL · 03/07/2022 16:24

@tootoasty I suspect she's bang on the money

Cherrysoup · 03/07/2022 16:28

Why ban your dog when you never take it to other peoples’ houses and their dog was the one to pee on the chair? Seems very petty.