Smart phones good or bad for children/teenagers

[anon2334]

Hi,

My child is 9 and common to have a phone now. For a while she was on the phone playing games whilst talking on snapchat. Recently and For a good while she dropped that by herself. I was concerned at the number of kids who were saying to my 9 year old why you going to bed uts early at 9pm! On a school night. It takes My children a whole to drop off .

My concern is addiction to those phones for kods and teenagers. I drive past a bus stop and I mean every single teenager is glued to their phones and not chatting?! Its got worse since lockdown. I can't avoid my child having one as they do so eventually she will get a phone woth a similar card as i haven't got her a phone yet just a basic one with games and maybe chatting with friends but should schools do more on awareness and safety? We do our bit but online bullying and addiction is something I think schools should speak out about more ?

Do not give your 9 year old a phone.

My daughter didn't get a phone until she was 11 and about to start secondary school. She used her kindle until then.

Schools do talk about it.

But parents give their 9 year olds phones and internet access anyway.

It's THE PARENTS fault and responsibility to say no.

Sorry loads of typos predictive texts and going quick half asleep, but I meant I haven't got my chikd a phone with a sim card yet but looks like most year 5 kids have one ! I was going to leave it until secondary school.

So what if most kids have them?

If most 9yo kids were allowed out until 11pm down the park alone, despite knowing there's dangerous people hanging around there... would you let your 9yo?

I'd hope not.

I'll bet there's drama on the phones of the kids that do have them. Ask your daughter, she'll probably have stories to tell.

No phones aren't good for kids but neither is being left out of social communication so you have to find a balance and support them to manage their time, especially at that age. That being said very few of the kids in my child's class have snapchat or any other social media. They use WhatsApp as this requires you to know someone's number to make contact and all the parents monitor this pretty closely to manage the usual 10 year old friendship and communication issues. You can set phones up with screen time limits and downtime to prevent access at certain times so really it is down to the parents to manage what they feel is appropriate for their child.

OP you're right. Being glued to a phone all day isn't good for a kid (or adult). Unfortunately that seems to be where we are as a society though, so you'll struggle to fight it.

Schools are pissing in the wind if parents are going to give unfettered access to smartphones at home.

PARENTS should not be giving smartphones to their children.

When they are deemed mature enough to have one, PARENTS need to be vigilant about moderating their use and ensuring that the phones are not allowed in bedrooms.

PARENTS need to ensure that they are more clued up than their child about all apps their child uses including VPNs.

Smartphones are bad for everyone, especially children. As a society we were happier before them. There are benefits and disbenefits but all research shows the positives are much smaller than the negatives.

I've always been very luddite and strict about smart phones for the kids.

I am genuinely unable to understand why parents have this collective blindspot around children having access to smartphones. I would rather smoke in my car with my kid than give a primary kids a smartphone with WhatsApp etc

I think last year of primary is normal to have a phone- Covid brought that forward a year or two.
The issue is the parents, why does a child still have their phone so late in the day, why can they carry it to bed. It’s the parents not schools!

Schools talk about it a lot and send parents information home quite regularly. I really think its a parent thing.

The problem is you give them a phone and think its ok i will control its use but it requires a lot of consistency and holding your nerve for a long time. So once you have one you need to feel confident engorcing whatever boundaries you have, daily for years. Whether its not at meals, not after 8, not those apps. You have to keep up with things too. Whats discord? How safe is snap chat. How many dummy accounts do they have.

But on the flip side my son has science, maths and language homework are apps on the phone..

Can you remember being told by a teacher 'if everyone else was jumping off a cliff would you do it?'

You don't have to parent the way other people parent.

I just listened to a really interesting podcast about this - 1000 hours outside "it's ok to say 'not yet', the power of delaying smartphones and social media"
The speaker had started a movement in America where parents could pledge to hold off on phones until 8th grade. The idea was that they understood the peer pressure of being left out so they wanted to create support for parents and children who decided against early phone use.

I'm a secondary school teacher and I can tell you that we are blue in the face from talking about online safety and smartphone/screen addictions. The problems happen at home. Parents need to step up too.

I would be interested to hear how teachers feel where parents delay smartphones.

I don't feel supported by anyone, I feel like I'm looked at like by teachers as much as other parents!

Op I think 9 is too young. My dd had one for secondarythe school. Sheds never off it now

Unfortunately screen addiction is real.
Hold back until secondary.

My dd is 9 and none of her friends have a phone.

She will get a simple non smart phone when she starts high school when she will be almost 12. A smart phone. I have not decided an age but so will play by ear. But I am certainly not getting her a smart phone with access to so much social media until she is emotionally really to navigate that.

Bunty it's too late re addiction.

They need banning from classroom's!
Totally banning.

People seem afraid of taking them off them

Re smartphone remember they will use it socialising.
Dd has a friend year 10 who doesn't have a smart phone.
They are left out of organising it has affected them socially.

At home parents could ask for the phone to be return at certain times.

No 9yr old should have Snapchat. I personally think 9 is young for a phone but I’m sure most of the class have them. I wouldn’t allow any social media at 9

It's all down to the parents. DS got his phone at 11 before secondary school and it has always had strict parental controls on it i.e. time limits, locking at a certain time, only allowed certain apps (he certainly wasn't allowed Snapchat at a young age because it's very easy to bully on there and get away with it) and he wasn't allowed social media until 13. No one took the Mickey out of him, even now, at 14, when he has to bring his phone downstairs in the evening and it locks at 9pm to allow him chance to wind down, no one says anything derogatory to him about it. He accepts it is the rules. As he's got older the rules have relaxed, but he knows it's for his own good ultimately. He spends less time on it now that he did a couple of years ago and when he is communicating with friends, they usually call or video call each other rather than messaging.

My 13yo DD has a phone but no social media, she doesn't need it. It also locks at 8pm on a school night, 9 on Fri/sat. She can't add any apps without my approval. Cannot understand parents who don't supervise their kids with this stuff! I may sound strict but I see it as parenting and keeping her safe. I'm not giving other kids (and adults) access to my child. No way.
She is rubbish with her phone, it's always on do not disturb and can be frustrating if I want to text her but I'd rather that then glued to it.

I'm a teacher and promise you that online etiquette and safety are taught often and repeatedly through the IT curriculum and in PSHE too.

Sensible parents don't provide phones until secondary school imo as we have nothing but trouble with the kids who have them from Y6 or Y5. They are not mature enough to use them responsibly.

Parents who allow unfettered access to the internet and apps until their child is mature enough to handle them are doing their child a disservice and storing up trouble. You won't believe how many times I've had to show a parent screenshots for them to stand down and accept that their child is accessing inappropriate sites, talking to strangers online, sending photos to strangers, bullying others. They always think their child won't do anything like that, until they see the evidence.