Please answer honestly… am I being emotionally abusive to my husband? (He thinks I am)
Tonight he went out with his mates (2nd night running - no problem with that). At 1am, he still wasn’t home and we have plans to go to London today as a family with some mutual friends. I called him multiple times (never went through) and sent him 3 x messages. I basically wanted to ask him what time he was coming home and to ask him please don’t get hammered, because it will ruin today. He also has a broken leg, so I wanted to ask how he planned to get home. His phone was obviously out of range though, so I also text our (entirely mutual) friend he was out with to ask if he could ask DH to call me if he picked this up. Since then, I saw DH read my msgs, but didn’t call me. This annoyed me if I’m honest, because what if there had been an emergency with our children? (There wasn’t, so maybe I am over-reacting here).
Anyhow, DH now home. Completely hammered as predicted and furious I was “checking up” on him. Says I’m emotionally abusive / possessive / jealous / unstable (I think tbf I probably was very unstable when we were first together 20 years ago (very abusive mother), but I’ve done a lot of personal growth since then). From my perspective, I wasn’t checking up on him because I was jealous, but for the reasons I gave above. Is this abusive though? I don’t know. I feel like he doesn’t want to be with me anymore sometimes (not all the time) and might be looking for excuses to blame me for this, but maybe I am actually at fault?? Would you see me calling him as emotionally abusive / possessive or reasonable? I’m so confused! Please help.