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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to base where you live on running ?

57 replies

coveruplep · 02/07/2022 23:35

My SIL & BIL are relocating back to UK from working abroad. We are meant to be helping with their house search due to the market moving so quickly. They have become keen runners in this time overseas, but have no other criteria for their property search other than a good running spot on and off road. I mean AIBU, I have two small children I barely get to walk, plus I can’t spend all my time traveling around the whole of the UK for this.

AIBU to only suggest places nearby?

OP posts:
PrachtStück · 03/07/2022 03:09

Don’t travel the country looking for running spots. Just suggest local areas if you have any.

YANBU not wasting your time looking for places.

They ANBU wanting to move somewhere that’s good for running.

I love to walk, and it’s always been something I’ve considered when moving to a new place. It’s a big part of my day. But I don’t put the burden on another person to find these good walking areas, that’s for sure.

ReeseWitherfork · 03/07/2022 03:35

Am I being a bit dense... can't they run anywhere? How are you supposed to know what makes a particularly good place to run?!

mdinbc · 03/07/2022 03:41

They haven't narrowed it down to a particular area?

Isaidnoalready · 03/07/2022 03:57

Well you want them to live nearby but not too nearby don't you? So local areas fine

Lostmybendystraw · 03/07/2022 06:50

I don't think it is fair of them to get you to do this. You don't have to be travelling about looking. Just message a running group or forum and ask for suggestions of areas to look at. But really they could do that themselves.

AllHailKingLouis · 03/07/2022 06:51

Who chooses a place to live based on running areas?? 😂 they sound ridiculous - the CSN run anywhere. I wouldn’t entertain such nonsense.

Perfectlystill · 03/07/2022 06:53

I'm a runner and I find this an insane notion.

Cervinia · 03/07/2022 06:57

How fit are they? I do t recommend my part of Yorkshire unless their legs can take the hills.

SnowyPetals · 03/07/2022 06:59

This is such a personal and subjective criterion that they really need to see for themselves. I would explain that it's beyond your skill set as you have no idea what is and isn't a good running spot. Loads of areas have Park Run, would that work, or are they looking for extensive parkland? They really need to make their own choice though. Surely they could rent near you when they first arrive and look for more permanent places themselves once here?

Christinatheastonishing · 03/07/2022 07:03

YANBU to pull back if you don't have time to help with the search or just don't want to.

YABU to scoff at other peoples' priorities. Proximity to x hobby is hugely important to loads of people.

I'm sure they could join an online running forum for advice.

00100001 · 03/07/2022 07:03

Don't they work?

They don't mind living in an island with limited contact?

They're happy to live in floor 35 in a crappy besdit, because of the running route ½ a mile away?

They don't mind living right under a flight path next to a motorway?

They're happy to live a 7hr drive away from family?

Ignore them!

daretodenim · 03/07/2022 07:04

Well they need some trails and some concrete within running distance. Presumably the concrete will be from their front door. They're going to need to tell you how long their runs are. But don't ask for anything more than that and don't give many more details of why, be a bit vague ("to help me in the search"). Then just look around you at homes that have access to beach/park/hills (whatever) within half of that distance.

The reason not to say more is to avoid a shopping list that makes it harder to find a place nearby! If they come back with very specific needs then suggest they need an estate agent - which they'll need anyway to buy.

I'm wondering if they're living somewhere where they have help at home and/or are on good incomes without kids. This request sounds like it's from people who are entirely out of touch with daily life for many parents in the UK.

Oh and be ready to not find the right place so do get over invested in this. What you show them will likely make them realise all the things they don't want/want. It won't be personal, just how house hunting goes!

WinterMusings · 03/07/2022 07:07

Gosh. If only there was something that allowed them to look at maps, talk to other runners and look for houses from the comfort of their sofa anywhere in the world....

PurBal · 03/07/2022 07:08

Yanu to suggest places you can physically get to. But DH and I moved to our house in part because it was on a long distance footpath so I don’t think it’s weird criteria.

icklekid · 03/07/2022 07:09

Perfectly reasonable to tell them your happy to suggest locations nearby that have good access to countryside for runs but that obviously if they are keen to live elsewhere eg. Peak District for example they will have to do research as your not local (obviously if you happen to live near the Peak District that is a bad example!!)

FourChimneys · 03/07/2022 07:10

Actually, I can how that would make sense. If they just run a few km at a time on roads and paths just about anywhere will do. But if they want to do fell running, for example, then Norfolk wouldn't be a good option. Nothing wrong in making an activity a priority.

I agree that they should join a running forum and ask for advice there though.

WorkEvent · 03/07/2022 07:12

I would definitely choose a place to live based on good access to outdoor space/footpaths/countryside. It’s part of the reason we bought the house we did. We use the trails daily for running and walking. Their request sounds more like ‘not in the middle of a city’ to me, but maybe they’ve been more specific than that?

SimonaRazowska · 03/07/2022 07:17

Love that they made this your job

when we relocated to the U.K. we just stayed in a B&b before we found a suitable place to rent, then later buy, no need to make someone else do the legwork!

you can’t just buy a house like that from abroad, you have to rent first and do your own homework, IMO!

Bighairydogs · 03/07/2022 07:26

Our next move will be largely dependent on where’s nice to run, as DH & I are both runners & where we live is rubbish (too flat, too built up) However it’s impossible for someone else to make that decision for us - what one person things is a great running route, someone else would hate. Depends what they like. I’m guessing more rural other than town but other than that it could be anywhere (& even then - running down the Thames in London for example is an incredible run, so much to see - but they may not wish to live in London, so already that could be a no-go… I don’t think you can make this decision for anyone else)

whosaidtha · 03/07/2022 07:26

It's subjective too. My area has lots of lovely picturesque green spaces perfect for running, but are extremely hilly. Would that fit the brief? Perfect for some, awful for others.

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 03/07/2022 07:32

Bournemouth is great for running you can run all the way between hengistbury head and sandbanks along the beach. I love running there as does my dad who has been a runner for 50 years.

Our childhood home was chosen in a location from which my dad could commute by running.

Runners can be a special kind of crazy…

Hedonism · 03/07/2022 07:32

I'm a runner. One of the great things about running (imo) is that you can do it pretty much anywhere. So unless they want to do a very specific type of running then they can live pretty much anywhere.

daisychain01 · 03/07/2022 07:36

We are meant to be helping with their house search due to the market moving so quickly.

if these are your DHs family, leave it to him to do the research, you aren't "meant to" or obliged to get involved. Get them into the joys of Right Move and Zoopla on the internet and they can look for their own accommodation!

carefullycourageous · 03/07/2022 07:40

YABU for taking this on. Their criteria are fine. Set sensible boundaries around how much time you have and stick to them. If you martyr yourself, that's your choice not theirs.

mjf981 · 03/07/2022 07:52

Lincolnshire (most of it). Flat as pancake. Low population density. Lots of straight country roads. Perfect for running.

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