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Original poster

44. What has made me feel old?

47 replies

Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:34

Age, having a child or the pandemic?

Up until around 41, I still felt young…ish, definitely still did at 38/39, I felt great, was still interested in music, clothes, went travelling, to festivals etc.

Had my Dd at 40 (years of infertility) then the pandemic and now the last year or two I suddenly feel old…I’m not bothered about new music anymore, or fashion…I loved clothes previously. I don’t long to be at Glastonbury as I did most years, don’t yearn to go to countries I previously hankered for. This year was the first year I didn’t watch ‘The Brits’ I saw an advert for it and didn’t know who the majority were so thought ‘Meh’
I don’t drink, don’t have much of a sex drive

I’m not depressed by the way…but am I suddenly…old..er 😬

Anyone else had this and what age did it happen? Is it a temporary blip?

Was it having a child…hitting early/mid forties or the pandemic squeezing all the previous fun-ness and more youthful attitude out of me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:35

Dh feels the same too…we have zero energy these days

OP posts:
Molly876 · 02/07/2022 22:38

The pandemic definitely. I feel older but wiser so that can't be too bad. I'm 32 btw.

Original poster
Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:39

@Molly876 In what way has it made you feel older? I’d consider 32 to be still young and full of joy 😁

OP posts:
TheOGCCL · 02/07/2022 22:40

I know it's 'trendy' but peri menopause can cause a loss of joie de vivre and lack of libido. It's not a depression as such, just loss of interest in things and motivation.

SunshinePie · 02/07/2022 22:42

Pandemic. I feel like it’s just turned my world upside down, and now everything seems so much more effort. Socialising is tiring. Going out the house is tiring. Everything just seems like hard work. I think it’s knocked everyone’s sense of stability.

Egghead68 · 02/07/2022 22:44

Perimenopause

whatisheupto · 02/07/2022 22:45

Having a kid, for sure!!!

Original poster
Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:46

If it’s peri menopause, is that just it then, my past self gone and I’m just kinda heading down now

OP posts:
Molly876 · 02/07/2022 22:46

@Runningupthathill77 The drudgery of daily life I think 😂 I worked through the pandemic and the whole thing really opened my eyes to reality. Before that I was a lot more chilled out and immature probably.
I just feel wiser and less likey to take shit from people now if that makes sense. I probably need to lighten up a bit and get my fun side back though lol

inappropriateraspberry · 02/07/2022 22:46

I think it's having a child. Your focus is no longer purely on yourself and your own interests. After children I couldn't tell you who's number 1 in the charts, but I do know Disney princesses and their songs! Holidays are different as a family, but I think as they get older, and need less full on attention it is possible to take back more of 'yourself.'

Original poster
Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:47

@whatisheupto At the start I was v v tired with getting up through the night etc..but I still kind of felt young..ish, if that makes sense? Now, not so much…has 4 years of a hyper dc drained it all out of me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:48

@Molly876 Yeah, that’s it, I was fun before…bit serious now

OP posts:
5128gap · 02/07/2022 22:55

Runningupthathill77 · 02/07/2022 22:46

If it’s peri menopause, is that just it then, my past self gone and I’m just kinda heading down now

Not in my experience. I felt like you in my 40s. I'm 53 now and went through menopause during covid. I also started a bit of a health kick to pass the time during lockdown, and I can honestly say, the last 2 years, I feel like I've gone back to my 20s. I think its a combination of being very healthy, wfh, which I'm still partly doing, children now independent, and hormones steadying. Since things have opened up again I feel like I'm doing everything for the first time, gigs, festivals, days out, nights out. So don't think this is your life forever now, if my experience is anything to go by, it's just a stage.

Senderandme · 02/07/2022 22:56

Oh did this is me for sure. Same age. Same age child. I look back at photos of me when my DC was one and think god- I was so young then. It’s only three years ago FFS! I think it’s a mix of all of those things. I think not going into work and socialising over Covid meant I’m more likely to want to carry on staying in and working from home, less likely to want to socialise. Oh and I’ve put on weight too which doesn’t help. I dunno, I’ve sort of resigned to being ‘older’ now and sort of embracing not giving so much to of a shit about everything. Know what you mean though! X

oceanskye · 02/07/2022 22:59

I think its having a small child that does it. I'm 41 but my kids are older at 12 and 15 and I feel more youthful now than I did 10 years ago, because I feel less consumed by motherhood. I have much more freedom and time for myself now that my boys are more independent.

Beecham · 02/07/2022 23:02

It's definitely having small children.

The way you feel now is how I felt for years in my 30s when my kids were small. Now I'm mid-40s I feel full of life and energy again because the children are older! I've also started caring about how I look again!

stayingpositiveifpossible · 02/07/2022 23:08

5128gap · 02/07/2022 22:55

Not in my experience. I felt like you in my 40s. I'm 53 now and went through menopause during covid. I also started a bit of a health kick to pass the time during lockdown, and I can honestly say, the last 2 years, I feel like I've gone back to my 20s. I think its a combination of being very healthy, wfh, which I'm still partly doing, children now independent, and hormones steadying. Since things have opened up again I feel like I'm doing everything for the first time, gigs, festivals, days out, nights out. So don't think this is your life forever now, if my experience is anything to go by, it's just a stage.

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Thats inspiring to think that. I'm trying to make health changes and not quite getting there.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 02/07/2022 23:12

Can't relate really. You sound like you've decided that breeding makes you grown up and sensible and mature. It doesn't.

Calledakaren · 02/07/2022 23:31

It could be many things. Having a young child tips you into survival mode. I only felt like I was coming out of this when each child was 2yo - which for you will have been when covid hit. My youngest is 5 and in school now - that also helped!

Lockdowns sucked the energy and motivation out if me too and only in the last month have I felt more like my normal self again.

Perimenopause also gets the blame for everything these days. I'm 38 so I don't think I'm there just yet!

Foldingchair · 02/07/2022 23:39

oceanskye · 02/07/2022 22:59

I think its having a small child that does it. I'm 41 but my kids are older at 12 and 15 and I feel more youthful now than I did 10 years ago, because I feel less consumed by motherhood. I have much more freedom and time for myself now that my boys are more independent.

I could have written this. My dc were v young in my early 30s and I was working full time. There was no joy in anything. I was too busy trying to keep everything spinning to care about much else. None of my friends had kids and it was early days making new friends.

40s are great.

Twocrabs20 · 02/07/2022 23:42

I think it is having small children. Their needs are so so significant there is little to no time to care and invest in yourself. I describe their early years as my ‘lost years’; and I am not ‘out of the woods’ so to speak yet. I can’t tell you whether in time you will find a rejuvenated interest in life. But I would like to think it will come back.

BeatieBourke · 02/07/2022 23:42

Kids age you. And it's cumulative. The constant, low level (after the baby days) lack of sleep is enough to add an extra decade on its own.

I've recently started a new job. My boss is younger than me, supremely confident, and a little bit condescending. It's making me feel ancient.

WhatsHoppening · 02/07/2022 23:46

Foldingchair · 02/07/2022 23:39

I could have written this. My dc were v young in my early 30s and I was working full time. There was no joy in anything. I was too busy trying to keep everything spinning to care about much else. None of my friends had kids and it was early days making new friends.

40s are great.

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I could cry with joy reading this. Im early 30s two small kids knackered skint and feel ancient. There’s light at the end of the tunnel?!

RJnomore1 · 02/07/2022 23:47

It’s having a small child. I felt like this at 26. At 45 I do not!

Gibbertyflibberts · 02/07/2022 23:53

Mid 20s for me and no kids as an excuse! I'm late 30s now and DP in his early 40s and can't imagine either of us has the energy for young kids now. There's hope for you yet 😀