44. What has made me feel old?

[Runningupthathill77]

Age, having a child or the pandemic?

Up until around 41, I still felt young…ish, definitely still did at 38/39, I felt great, was still interested in music, clothes, went travelling, to festivals etc.

Had my Dd at 40 (years of infertility) then the pandemic and now the last year or two I suddenly feel old…I’m not bothered about new music anymore, or fashion…I loved clothes previously. I don’t long to be at Glastonbury as I did most years, don’t yearn to go to countries I previously hankered for. This year was the first year I didn’t watch ‘The Brits’ I saw an advert for it and didn’t know who the majority were so thought ‘Meh’
I don’t drink, don’t have much of a sex drive

I’m not depressed by the way…but am I suddenly…old..er 😬

Anyone else had this and what age did it happen? Is it a temporary blip?

Was it having a child…hitting early/mid forties or the pandemic squeezing all the previous fun-ness and more youthful attitude out of me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s having a small child, it’s hard work and you lose your sense of humour. But it’s not forever!!

parenting little kids ages you. I remember being 28 and fucking knackered and thought everything was shit. I'm 43 now and full of fun (mostly )

Yes, every little bit of independence is a joy to me, as it means a little bit of me comes back. The guilt at working all the time went, as soon as they started wanting to spend more time with friends. I don't always have a child with me wherever I go. They're not far off being able to babysit themselves at night. I have more energy and don't ache all the time, although I know menopause looms.

How are your weight and diet? For me, 40 coincided with eating more rubbish and getting bigger which led to a general sense of malaise. Now I eat properly and exercise loads I feel young again.

@Foldingchair I could have written your post. I’m so opposite to every mum I know who is mourning the loss of the baby years and clinging on to the children being ‘little’. How old are yours? I have one lower secondary and one upper primary.

I'm 2 years older than you but I was where you are now. Get your hormones tested! By the end of the day I used to feel like someone had drained all my blood away- it felt more than just exhaustion. I couldnt sleep. I'd get gripped with the most horrific anxiety about stupidly unimportant things, I put weight on, I hated the people around me, lost general interest in many things. My skin was dry and my hair was brittle and breaking off.

Turns out, I just needed some progesterone and a small dose of levothyroxine. I am now a new person. I go running every morning at 6am, have boundless energy, sex drive through the roof, smooth skin and shiny healthy hair. I sleep like a log. I went to a specialist in bio identical hormones as my GP was useless and wanted to just shove me on anti depressants which was NOT the cause of it. You dont have to put up with this- early 40s is when our hormones start to go weird and this can affect other systems like our thryoid etc.

Get tested!

Same. I felt very constrained by small children. I've always very much identified with Kipling's The Cat Who Walked by Himself.

Lockdown utterly rejuvenated me. Compared to "real life" both before and after it was a blissful time for me. I don't think about age and live in my head so I rarely feel "old" and I have a close relationship with my 18 year old daughter. It does vaguely creep in when 80's/90's references are met with blank looks by young colleagues and when I flip through magazines on my Readly app or watch Celebrity Gogglebox and don't know who anyone is.

What an utterly unhelpful, spiteful post.

Do you feel better now??

I love it when the 80s/90s comes up! My young colleagues and friends are fascinated by those days and think I'm the coolest thing that walked when they hear of some of the bands I got to see.
I'm surrounded by young people at work snd socially, and they are by turns highly amused at introducing me to new things, and fascinated at hearing first hand about times they see as legendary.
I completely embrace it, never try to pretend I'm young, and actually feel rather special.😊

It started around 43 for me, about 2 years after meeting my ex. Being with him drained the life out of me. Then it got worse once I started having medical issues which started a couple years ago. So that coupled with the pandemic I feel 100 years old and I’m only 51

Relieved to here it might just be the young child years…know that menopause/Peri menopause is likely lurking somewhere in the background.

I'm 50, both my DC are over 25 years old. My 40's has been wonderful. I've more energy than ever !

Young children are hard work.

*Hear!

I also felt like this at 47'-48 , couldn't imagine I'd ever been the person I was.
I went on HRT at 49, im 51 now and feel like my old self.
Its like I came out from under a cloud.

I think it’s probably a mix of the pandemic and getting older/hormones maybe.
Im 43 and we have no kids so like to go out to eat etc, I love gigs and music, catching up with friends, holidays.

Lockdowns defo turned me into more of a homebody and to be honest sometimes I’d rather just stay home. But in between lockdowns me and my partner have managed to go on U.K. holidays and go out for fun and things we enjoy. I now just find it difficult to organise things with my friends/family. To find the enthusiasm. When I do see them I love spending time with them and a great time it just seem as easy to organise now.

The loss of libido and general lust for life could be hormones/peri

I’m early 40s and I think for me it’s a combination of young children, the pandemic - homeschooling was a nightmare - and hormones changing starting to come into play. I feel tired all the time and get very irritable quickly. Very interested by mintybob’s post - I think I need to see one of these specialists!

I feel tireder and more serious since lockdown and pandemic. I also felt ‘younger’ before (now 39 and kind of still do… but definitely felt a lot less carefree and young as we came out of lockdown). ‘I’ve had a lot of time to think’, as people say when they get out of prison. ;)

I was the same after having ds1 and I was 26! It's a case of having other priorities, interests and being knackered I'm afraid. It's motherhood, not ageing.
Mine are 14,15 and 21 now. I'm 47 and have had a new lease of life since they all became that bit more independent. I am back into new music and going out to see bands and festivals etc.

Also now looking forward to my 40s!

I mean seriously, when all you want in life...ALL YOU WANT is eight hours uninterrupted sleep, you don't have it in you to explore the music scene and keep up to date. You just don't care.

I agree that it could be the perimenopause. I'm 48 and have felt like that for a few years. I'm definitely not depressed (I know from experience what depression is like) but I do generally feel flat. The sense of passion and excitement has gone to an extent. I'm not so adventurous, I just want a quiet easy life. I'm very homely these days. I'm content enough though. I really think it's the plunging oestrogen levels.