To expect a text from someone by now?

[Minty90]

I'm looking after 3 DC by myself this whole weekend. Two of them are mine with my DH. One is the son of a gay couple (men).

The DC are 1, 3 and 4. All three dads are on various jollies (stag, birthday etc). All left early this morning.

None of them have text to check in. I've also got a puppy too. Aibu to think you check in one your child/wife/friend in this situation? I've text them photos and nothing back from any of them

Men just don't bloody communicate. So frustrating.

That's incredibly rude, of all of them!!

It wouldn’t bother me. When I was a child there were no mobile phones to text people with and babysitters coped.

Meh. My kids have been with their grandparents since this morning and I've not "checked in".

If there are any issues, they know where I am!

I don't know, I think I'd expect some communication from the parents of the child that isn't yours.

Did you want to look after all of them? You sound a little resentful.

But yes men do generally communicate less.

Did you expect them to check in on how you are getting on with them? Or how their kids are?

Plus, you've already updated them by sending pics, so they don't have any reason to check in.

That makes them even ruder tbh

@BritWifeInUSA I'm not a babysitter. I'm doing them a massive favour taking their kid and puppy.

I don't want to be precious though....maybe I am being.

they want to have a nice time without having to think about the kids, I think.

Why? Maybe they're busy enjoying their child-free day and not pining after their kids. It is allowed. Im assuming they trust op given they've left their kids with her abd therefore they know their kids are safe 🤷‍♀️

I’m a woman. I’d check in with a friend doing me a favour (tho possibly not until after kids bedtime if I only left that morning) but I wouldn’t be contacting DH in those circumstances. He is entirely capable of looking after his own kids and I’d assume he’d contact me if he needed to. I’m allowed to switch off from Mummy mode occasionally and I would afford him the same. I’d probably text goodnight or good morning depending on what else I was doing. I wouldn’t particularly welcome photos unless child was doing something particularly photo worthy - I can remember what my kids look like for one weekend and I’d feel pestered.

That said, I would never agree to have an extra child for a weekend if I had two preschoolers and a puppy and DH was away. Not unless a serious life and death emergency.

Some people send messages all the time, others don’t. If I was looking after our kids or If the other parent was looking after them I wouldn’t expect check ins, and would only expect a picture if something really extraordinary or funny had happened.

But if my friend was doing me a massive favour and looking after my dog and puppy I would send a msg sometime towards the end of the day saying ‘hope everything is ok’, and I would respond immediately if there was any problem or question.

But TBH I find constant communication/ check ins / sending photos intrusive and attention seeking.

@ThreeLittleDots Yeah. I guess you're right. I don't want to be grumpy about it unnecessarily. Just it wouldn't occur to me to not check in...to see how things are going, thank them etc.

I think it's rude.

I don’t really know why your husband needs to check in. You know he’s out on a stag do or whatever, you’re looking after your kids, he only left this morning. I wouldn’t check in with my partner if I was out on a hen do and had only left earlier the same day.

I do think the parents of the other child should have at least text by now. If a friend looked after my kids, I’d check in.

Sorry, the first part of my post sounds harsh and I didn’t mean it to. 😬

I always feel the opposite. If anything was amiss you would have heard from me , and if you trust me enough to look after your child you don't need to message me to ask if all is well.

But they know that all is fine as you've texted and sent photos. So if they're out, can see that they don't necessarily see the need to check in.

Wil you have them all overnight?

It wouldn’t bother me, but then if I’m on a day out I’m on a day out and I assume DD is fine with DP or with whoever she’s with. I don’t want or need constant check-ins whether I’m the one at home with her or the one out and about.

I would expect a thank you at the end of the day from your friends.

I hope you've got something booked in with them so you can go away

They left this morning and you posted at 6pm. If there was something wrong you would have told them so why would you expect them to text? Why would you want them to text?! It’s not like it’s going to make any difference to the amount of work it takes to look after the kids.

It’s good of you to have the children and I’m sure they’ll be really grateful when they collect them, but I don’t really see any need for cheerleading.

I don't see why your DH would check in? I'd assume he'll call this evening.

Perhaps the other couple should have - but you've sent photos so no need really.

So overall, I think you are probably being a bit UR

I really don't mean I want constant check ins. I took a photo of puppy and DC and me all having lunch together and said something silly like "just about getting them all fed" and just haven't heard anything back. I'm thinking they're all just being a bit rude given that I've taken one for the team having them all. Just a reply. But I get they're all having fun. I just think a message saying thanks or asking how it's all going is basic manners. I don't think you're still in "daddy mode" to check in once or reply to a message. I think that about all three of them

When did the DC who isn't yours come to you? It is was earlier today I think you're being a big precious. I'd expect them to check in at bedtime.

I don't understand what you would get out of receiving these messages. In what way are they helpful? If I were on the other side, I would think such messages would just be giving you something extra to deal with.