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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect a text from someone by now?

44 replies

Minty90 · 02/07/2022 18:03

I'm looking after 3 DC by myself this whole weekend. Two of them are mine with my DH. One is the son of a gay couple (men).

The DC are 1, 3 and 4. All three dads are on various jollies (stag, birthday etc). All left early this morning.

None of them have text to check in. I've also got a puppy too. Aibu to think you check in one your child/wife/friend in this situation? I've text them photos and nothing back from any of them

Men just don't bloody communicate. So frustrating.

OP posts:

Original poster

Minty90 · 02/07/2022 18:43

If I was on a hen do I'd still reply to my DH or mates to ask how things were going.

I don't need cheerleading though FFS. I'm not asking for a bloody marching band. A reply would have been welcome. That's all.

OP posts:

shiningstar2 · 02/07/2022 18:46

You've taken their small child and a puppy on for them as well as your own? 3 children aged ,4 and under??? Of course they should communicate with you ...all of them but especially the parents of the one not yours. Are they scared to say how are you doing? In case you ask them to come back 🤔. If I did this I would want a medal as big as a frying pan and a spa weekend for me and a friend very soon afterwards. I hope all of these dad's, including your own partner have some very special treats planned for you on their return. In any event, definitely your turn to go away next leaving your partner in charge. Get planning op. Have a medal from me and some flowers 🏅💐

thinkfast · 02/07/2022 18:50

I would've expected a text from DH to check everything was ok and at least one text from the other parents to check in.

madasawethen · 02/07/2022 18:50

When is your entire weekend by yourself? Have you had one?

coffeecupsandfairylights · 02/07/2022 19:01

I don't know. I wouldn't really expect them to check in unless there was a problem.

Swedalia · 02/07/2022 19:14

Minty90 · 02/07/2022 18:43

If I was on a hen do I'd still reply to my DH or mates to ask how things were going.

I don't need cheerleading though FFS. I'm not asking for a bloody marching band. A reply would have been welcome. That's all.

You are absolutely right. It wouldn’t take long to reply when you were being nice taking a photo. It is rude not to reply to that at least.

EatYourVegetables · 02/07/2022 19:19

As long as you et 3x the amount of time to go on child free jollies yourself, no problem.

But somehow I doubt that’s the case.

girlmom21 · 02/07/2022 19:36

EatYourVegetables · 02/07/2022 19:19

As long as you et 3x the amount of time to go on child free jollies yourself, no problem.

But somehow I doubt that’s the case.

Well why would she? If anything she should get 2x max as the other child has two parents so that only equals one lot of babysitting.

MissMaple82 · 02/07/2022 19:36

No, get a grip. A parent can enjoy an adult weekend without having to check in with what the kids are up to or it you are coping thats called guilt tripping!

ThirtyThreeTrees · 02/07/2022 19:37

I've never got the "checking in" thing.

I don't see why it's necessary or what it's meant to achieve. If something hasn't gone to plan, it's reasonable to let them now. It's also responsible for them to think it's all going well.

If I'm out for the day or night or at a wedding or something my interest is enjoying it not checking my phone or sending messages.

If there aren't appreciative when they get back, that's a completely different issue.

Lindy2 · 02/07/2022 19:44

As a minmum I'd have expected a reply to the photo you sent.

If I send my DH a message or a photo (or visa versa) we always reply to each other. I'd have thought ignoring a message rather rude.

You're doing them a real favour. I do hope they appreciate it and at least get you a bottle of wine of something similar to show they are grateful.

JennyForeigner · 02/07/2022 19:47

I would definitely text to say 'you're amazing, thank you so much' for the pics, and I would be buying you a bloody big bottle of champagne as a thanks as well.

eldora · 02/07/2022 19:49

Why are you taking one for the team for this couple?

At least you know they’re bloody ungrateful now. Will you take the dc again?

janesmithsdog · 02/07/2022 19:51

My kids are older now but I think YABU, sorry. I wouldn’t expect a check in and I wouldn’t expect to check in if it was me. Let them have their weekend off and then book yourself one too!

PinkSyCo · 02/07/2022 19:51

You are doing the couple a massive favour. I think it’s really rude of them not to reply at least once to your messages. And I think any decent parent would phone or text by the end of the day to check on how their child and puppy were getting on wouldn’t they?

Rainbowqueeen · 02/07/2022 19:53

I’d at least like the photo you sent But not everyone has the same texting habits and you can’t expect them to. I think it shows that they are confident you will be a great job with DC.

If they don’t get you a nice gift and sincerely thank you when they return I’d reassess how I felt about the friendship though

Thatboymum · 02/07/2022 19:55

My mum had my 2 boys age 7&4 for a week their while I was abroad with a friend and honestly I barely stayed in touch other than every other day like one text I went away to switch off relax and not be just a mum I knew they were safe happy loved and in capable hands and my mum likewise didn’t bombard me with texts pics updates as she also wanted me to just be me and chill

SnowyLamb · 02/07/2022 19:56

It does seem to be the norm that people are constantly checking in, but I have to admit I don't. If DH (at home with DC) needed me, he'd contact me, other than that I'd leave them to their weekend.

itsgettingweird · 02/07/2022 20:09

Normally I would.

However you've said they are all on jollies. I don't tend to spend birthdays or hen parties on my phone as I'm enjoying the company of the people I'm with,

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