Second hand toys as gifts?

[NoGoodUsernamee]

I have 3 children and almost all their toys are second hand, great quality, expensive toys for a fraction of the cost. I love finding a bargain & new toys IMO are almost always over priced.

The problem is, I find it very difficult to then go and buy brand new for friends/families children for birthdays. But up till now I have had to because I feel like I’ll be judged otherwise!

It is genuinely not just a money thing, of course we all know it’s better for the environment to not buy new as well. But also, I feel like I can get the child more/better quality toys if they’re pre-loved.

One of the children in the family is turning 3 soon and they love peppa pig. I could get them 3/4 sets they love second hand or just 1 brand new. Once it’s out the box in 5 seconds flat what’s the difference really?

But AIBU? Will their parents call me a tight arse?!
😂

We buy second hand for our DC and always encourage others to do the same. We wouldn't want any 'more' tbh but frankly it's better for the environment and why spend ££££ when you can get for £?

Sadly no one has taken us up on this advice and insist in buying excessive amounts of new plastic shite 🤦🏼‍♀️ Which I do realise makes me sound v ungrateful 🤣 But honestly they have too much and I'd rather people save their money and the world!

The distinction I make is that a gift should be something special, or a treat, a one off you’d perhaps have to think about buying for yourself. It’s celebratory in nature. Second hand is fine for a gift if it was something rare, or a situation where you saw it and knew it was the absolute most perfect thing for the recipient; but second hand toys because they’re practical and cheaper just seems a bit functional and every day and practical.

The child might not care, because children rarely do (although I actually remember very keenly the excitement of a brand new toy when I was a child, and the ritual of unpeeling the sticky tape on the lip of the box and undoing all the ties inside the packaging) but I think many parents would feel slighted.

I’d much prefer people to buy / regift my children 2nd hand things rather than buy new stuff. It’s such a waste of money and terrible for the environment.

maybe you could subtly put the feelers out on their thoughts on it?

alrhough fwiw, I would not want 3-4 peppa pig toys from one person! Just one would be fine!

I got my nieces tons of secondhand Sylvanian toys for Christmas one year. Was NOT appreciated- my Sil thought I'd hit them out my loft from when my dd was little!! So now I buy less but for new
It's inverse snobbery

I could've written this exact post! My two best friends haven't bought a single second hand item ever for their children whereas I very very very rarely buy anything new. I've also never dared by them second hand gifts, but I know the children wouldn't notice and would just be pleased with the "better" present. Interested to see others' comments on this. Luckily my sister thinks I'm amazing at finding bargains and so I have managed to send various second hand things for my niece and most recently, a bundle of second hand Sock Ons for new nephew which is what she'd asked for - they cost £1 for 5 pairs rather than £8 for two brand new.

I think it depends. For close family with young children I have asked if there was anything they particularly wanted and how they feel about second hand toys. I'm not sure I would want my child to receive 3/4 sets of something though on a purely selfish storage level! I would rather you just spent less. For children of friends I tend to go new; especially books, sweets or craft materials, which I feel a bit less guilty about buying new!

Like you, I love a bargain, and buy most things 2nd hand (or possibly 3rd or 4th).

But also, like you, it feels wrong to do so for other people's dc, or indeed friends.

I buy most things in charity shops now, or even from free giving sites, and my adult dc have all inherited my love for a mooch in a charity shop / on-line market place / boot sale / etc and they have all introduced University friends to the concepts of Freecycling and charity shopping.

......yet, I still buy new for other people

I don't mind second hand but it has to be very good quality. A friend of mine gifted my son some second hand toys and they were very well used , half broken and some of them were quite dirty. I put them in the bin. Friend meant well but I dread when I see her coming with a bag , it usually means more rubbish for my bin.

I happily give other people second hand things but not as a birthday or other celebration gift. So, DS1’s best mate is really in the Romans. I spotted a second hand Roman Army fact book and picked it up for him. Delightful all round. For his birthday I’ll buy something new (they are 9, so would notice, which also affects this!).

I think people are becoming less squeamish around second hand stuff but there is definitely still some stigma and especially with gift giving.

• The distinction I make is that a gift should be something special, or a treat, a one off you’d perhaps have to think about buying for yourself.

I do understand this point though, but in this particular case the gift will be exactly the same. Just potentially more of it if it’s second hand! Usually in almost identical condition to the new stuff too. These are small peppa pig sets, think 1 small plastic character & it’s accessory like a bike/oven/car/hat.

I wouldn't gift someone else's child second hand items. It may make sense to you as you have 3 and it gets costly but how do you know the next person feels the same? They might even think you gifted something from your DC pile.

I think its fine unless it's soft toys

I don’t think i could ask. They’d probably just say yes out of politeness then call me a tight cow behind my back 😂 I do have other friends/family that I think might be more susceptible to the idea though.

My mum would be thrilled with a second hand gift providing she liked it! She’d probably be more excited at the saving than the item itself😁

@Mally100

They might even think you gifted something from your DC pile.

I did think of this too 😂 My own DC do have similar sets. I won’t do it, I don’t have the balls but I do wish I could!!

I always encourage people to buy my DC second hand. Close friends I’d always check and see if it’s something they’d be ok with.

I would more than happily receive a second hand gift for me or my child, but I don't give them unless I'm 100% sure that the other person doesn't mind, which basically means mine and DH's immediate family.

Can you put them in a nice gift box?

I am 100% the same.

Proudly.

I recycle at every opportunity. Alls have.

We look after our belongings and we pass our clothes on.

My children attend private schools and we have accepted, and have past on uniforms.

I abhor waste.

I very happily am a second hand shopper my whole life and will encourage my children likewise.

The boys don't listen to me but my girls are definitely open to it.

The gratification of a great vintage find is pure exquisite joy...not dissimilar to other gratifications!

Today, I just past on a set of old, but still fine, 8 year old teak garden furniture, to a friends son.

Its not perfect by a long shot, but it definitely has another 5+ years in it.

My friends son is just setting up his home and was beyond thrilled, and appreciative, to take my old things.

Just like I was at his age.

I am not a member of the disposal society.
Neither are my children.

We have happily accepted second hand clothing and I have loved passing clothes on.

Oh and without doubt the best gifts mt children EVER received were the well loved toys of dear friends.

We were hugely blessed by these gifts.

I'd prefer second hand and I know several friends that do through general chit chat about environmental issues.

DC classmates I don't know and friends that turn their nose up at my eco stuff I would buy new though. Although I do try to sneakily give new but reusable items where possible (not so easy for toys).

It wouldn't even occur to me to give second hand toys as a gift, but I do also refuse to buy plastic/poor quality.

If someone asked if they could gift something second hand for DS it would very much depend what it was. I don't think the extra quantity argument is a great one though, most parents already feel like their children have far more toys than they need.

I would never buy someone else a second hand gift. X

You would have to be sure the other family feel the same about 2nd hand but i do understand why it would feel odd buying new for others and not your own DC. In this case you could gift clothes or things you wouldn't buy second hand such as stationery, craft items or experiences.

Does it miss the point a bit though, to give more gifts because they were secondhand and therefore cheaper? It feels like it just encourages a plastic tat consumption mindset a bit.

I'd give secondhand gifts to people that I know are OK with it, so my child, my partner, and my sibling.

Does it miss the point a bit though, to give more gifts because they were secondhand and therefore cheaper?

yes I do agree with this, or would ordinarily but these particular sets are minute! Have attached photos. The characters are like duplo person size & then an accessory. So 3 of them doesn’t seem an excessive amount of plastic iyswim?!

Plus people usually sell this sort of stuff in bulk second hand rather than individual pieces.

Will their parents call me a tight arse?!

It depends on the person really, some will, some won't.

My Gran got my Son loads of toys from the local charity shop for Christmas last year, she loves a bargain and is always coming in with something from there! Personally, my Son loved the gifts and it never even occurred to me that it was any less of a gift because it was second hand. We often buy him second hand stuff so I'm happy with other people doing the same.

Equally though, one of DP's friends have just had a 1st birthday party for their Daughter. They're the type of people that if we'd dared to buy them something second hand they'd have been disgusted. They won't buy anything second hand and would make it clear they weren't happy with a second hand gift. She actually told me once that she's donated all her DD's clothes and baby stuff to charity shops to help "poor people" that "can't afford to give their kids stuff". They are TTC again this year and said they want to buy all new stuff for the next baby which is why they've not kept anything of DD's.
To each their own but I wouldn't bother going to the effort of buying them a second hand gift when I knew how it would be received.

I always tend to buy new gifts, I just think it's not worth risking if I don't know how they'll react. The only person's kids I buy second hand for is my Sister's as I know they appreciate it and they also buy second hand for mine