Neighbour note about party noise

[wotsits1234]

Ndn have put a note through the door warning they are having a party with loud music tonight.

We are civil with these neighbours and say hello but there is underlying tension between us. Basically they have made my life torture for the past couple of years and have turned me into a nervous wreck in my own home. We live in poorly made houses with thin walls and basically I can hear everything in their house. But this hasn't stopped them from playing full volume music on bassy speakers to the point it has left me in tears. I am a bundle of anxiety in my own home because of their noise and often dread coming home to see if they are being loud or not. Feel like I can't have people over as I never know if they will be in and loud etc.

I have knocked and asked them to turn the music down in the past which is were the tension has come from. I'm not asking for them to tiptoe round in silence like church mice, I just want them to listen to the music at a more considerate level like everyone else does because we live in houses with absolutely zero soundproofing

I am relieved to have advance warning but telling me the morning-of means I now have to rearrange plans. I know that the purpose of the note isn't to be a good neighbour and give us a heads up, it's to silence me and stop me from asking them to turn the noise down, and I'm now worried that it's going to go on until early hours of the morning eg 4/5am as they'll think the note is a free pass to shut us up.

What do I do? Do I reply to the note or leave it? I do have somewhere I can stay tonight but I just feel pissed off that I should have to change my evening plans and go out while they have a jolly until 4am

I'm just so fed up of having to live my life by someone else's social calendar. Also just to add we do have neighbours on the other side who are great, they have friends over which we obviously hear but it's all part of the parcel of living in terraced houses and it's normal neighbour noise/doesn't bother us, so we know it's not just us being sensitive IYSWIM.

Well done! Did they react to your heavy metal?

Yes. They were thumping on the walls because it was "too loud". Imagine that. Too loud.

Tough. Should have considered that before being complete and utter bellends. So glad they put house up for sale. Have a lovely young family moved in now who are considerate people. They have young children too like myself and never hear a peep from them. They have lived next door now for 7 months and it has been bliss.

So, what happened?

Any update, OP?

Hope your night was more peaceful than anticipated.

We ended up staying at my sisters before the party started. We decided not to reply with a note as my DH said if we ask them to turn the music down after midnight and then we aren't there to follow up with a knock on the door at 3am if it's still going, it makes us look like pushovers. Typing this out now I know it makes it sound like we're thinking about it too much but honestly this is what living next door to people like this makes you do!

And I'm glad we didn't stay as when we got home on Saturday afternoon the street outside their house was littered with beer bottles and those silver 'laughing gas' canisters so it looked like it was quite a big party. It was a teenagers party, parents not there but they knew it was happening as I saw them there when the teenager son was taking in boxes of beer.

It has been quiet since thankfully but I'm on edge waiting for the next day/night of loud music. Their house is constantly full of different people staying/living there so you never know what to expect - I don't think the parents have been back since before the party

But thanks for all your replies on Friday, I can't tell you how much it helped while I was having bad time x

Incase anyone is still interested... no sign of parents since before the party, the teenager is back tonight with more mates. We came home to more laughing gas canisters on the footpath and can hear them doing it in their back garden.

It appears as though the parents have sodded off and are staying elsewhere so the teenager has free run of the house. Knowing them it wouldn't surprise me if they are living elsewhere and have left the rest of us to deal with a teenager and his mates all summer.

Absolutely dreading it

Glad you managed peace on Friday night, OP. Awful that you had to decamp elsewhere even to get that, though. Maddening.

Very sorry to hear about situation since. Being 'on alert' the whole time must be so stressful.

Thanks @QuinoaWest, yes unbelievably stressful. Have been treated to an evening of loud bass coming from their garden already tonight and I can hear the teenagers friends in their through the walls. So I'm certain this will be it for us for the rest of the summer now, I'm convinced the parents have gone back to their home country for the summer and left the teenager to live here alone as they have mentioned something similar to another neighbour in the past.

I'm home alone this evening so don't feel comfortable knocking until DH is home but certainly will once he is if it continues tonight. Just totally fed up and angry.

Gosh I am so sorry to hear this OP. I can't imagine the stress and anxiety this must be causing you

Thanks @firefly123, I did end up putting my head over the fence and asking him to turn the bass down yesterday evening which he did and they were quieter yesterday evening. But we were then treated to our house smelling of cigarettes and cannabis for the whole evening

But they are back out in the garden today with the bass blaring, it’s so loud all I can hear is vibrations.

Long term solution: move.
Short term: noise cancelling headphones, your own music/radio/TV on when you are in, earplugs for sleep, go out for a walk to escape when you can. You are unlikely to change their behaviour, only how you react to it.
But sympathies, it is tough.

Sorry to revive this again but we’re over 2 weeks later and problems still happening. Parents still not back, every other day is loud music, constant stream of teenagers coming and going at all hours and our house is regularly stinking of weed

I don’t want to report to the council because I know this will cause issues for when we eventually can sell and I know our local police force don’t deal with noise complaints

But will 101 do anything if I report a young teenager (16 at absolute oldest) living alone causing all of the issues above?

and does a police report go on a house sale record?

I made DH knock at 2am on Tuesday as loud music was blaring but it’s causing issues between us as he would just rather try and ignore it as he hates confrontation but I’m not prepared to have to listen to the teenager next doors music as 2am in the morning ffs! Two weeks of this has ruined my mental health I’m constantly on edge waiting to see what’s in store each night

Yeah, ask the police to do a welfare check as a 15/16 yo teenager living alone may be a concern. Hopefully this will shit him up and they may well call the parents too. This wouldn't be discoverable on a house sale, whereas any complaints between neighbours would.

*whereas any complaints between neighbours would need to be declared by you

Others have mentioned great ideas about the note. Soundproof plasterboard is a fairly cheap, longer term option, particularly if you are redecorating. My OH has some ear defenders from when he was in the forces. They're great!