To wonder if being attractive and young looking seems to be the main point of being a woman..

[Stylishkidintheriot]

Just now it feels (well from the media) that the most important qualities for a woman are to a) be attractive, b) be slim and c) look young

everywhere I go I see women who seem to have had work done to themselves.

and I’m just fed up with it. I don’t want to spend my time, energy and money trying to look good. I just want to get on with my life.

who’s with me?

That's how Carrie Johnson got ahead in life.

The point of being a woman appears to be to make yourself as attractive as possible to men. Many men want women to look and behave a certain way and so we are therefore told to be slim, blonde, sexually compliant etc.

It's just how the patriarchy operates. And it's shit.

Yes I think you're right.

Aging is so strange now-a-days - I saw a trailer for hocus pocus 2, the actresses were talking about the film and it was impossible to say how old the women were they all had a very artificial ageless sort of quality. They didn't look like real people.

I'm also saddened by the sheer amount of make up young women I know where, it's so layered and thick it makes them not look like they have real skin.

It's just all so disheartening.

On tv and media yes but to be honest in my daily life not really - I work in a female dominated area and as I’ve got older I’ve gained more respect compared to being young (therefore assumed to be inexperienced)

Loosing your looks and getting older is actually very liberating. Work

in fairness At work, I work with mostly men. And, they all seem to respect me no matter what I’m wearing.

but I do work in IT and most of the men are on the geeky side.

I’ll be honest, in no way do I aspire to be anything like Carrie J.

much more admiration for women like Jacinda, Nicola sturgeon, hell, even Ruth Davidson. And she’s a bloody Tory. But i
still have a lot of respect for her

I think men (and some women) apply this thinking to "general women" and one's they don't particularly know.

So for example at work, when you join, you have to work harder to prove yourself for your talents rather than your looks. Then, eventually, you can get respected once you are well known enough. But the standards are still applied to women, you have just become an exception for that particular patriarchal group.

I'm not sure I've explained that very well, but it is my experience from working in male dominated industries.

Urgh, apologies for the rogue apostrophe, it's been a long day writing an even longer report and my grammar skills have obviously left the room

Well don't, then. I never bothered as I too have better things to do

If that's getting ahead count me out. Even seeing a photo of Bj makes me want to hurl.

I think this may be as true as all men should be tall bronzed with a six pack and designer stable.

Reality is we're all different and actually like different things in people we meet in real life. SM though seems to push that boundary further as youngsters seek to be stars on the net.

Yes, unfortunately, slim, attractive and predominantly blonde women will always gain preferential treatment from a good proportion of heterosexual men. I’ve been out with such friends and have been totally ignored by men in shops, cafes etc as they are too busy fawning over my tall, attractive friends. I’m an old baggage now so couldn’t care less, but years ago it did hurt.

Yep, pretty much what I was going to say.

The whole set up is a cattle market in which women are evaluated for their sexual/breeding potential.

I actually think that teens who identify as non-binary have a good point; it's the only way out of being objectified open to them.

Couldn't agree more . Celebs must spend ages being primped and primed .I prefer a natural look .pony tail and lip gloss and good to go on dog walks, seeing friends who are like me and can't be arsed!

Carrie Johnson could have had any one though, but she chose him. All that time and effort looking good yet you end up with him! Don't envy her at all.
I like to keep clean and as tidy as possible, but I'm fat now and lost my looks so any men around wouldn't fancy me anyway. Couldn't care less , being older isn't all bad. ( not that I was ever that good looking)
If I do get my hair done or eyebrows it's for me , not for anyone else.

@Franca123 ...completely agree, once upon a time I wouldn't set foot out of the door without full make up and trendy gear on, now I'll quite happily go the shops barefaced with my dog walking jeans on...no concern for what anyone thinks.

Why would you look to “the media” to tell you what the point of anything was?

Why would you look to “the media” to tell you what the point of anything was?

Is anyone truly immune to the nudging and insidious influence of the worldview presented by the media though? Deliberately choosing not to 'look to the media' to direct how you live your life does not magically deflect all its influence.

Everyone who has mentioned hair colour has said blonde.
Is blonde hair really a thing for men?

But YANBU op.

Young, thin, pretty face, smiley (even if clearly a fake one), showing body and sexual availability seems to be all that matters to men…..
For awhile at least, usually they get bored and then want/ move onto the next.

I have a friend who's 5'9, blonde and something like FF cup and men are like dogs on heat around her, it really makes me roll my eyes. She is attractive and a great person, I just find these men so pathetic and predictable that they see blonde hair, tall and big boobs and suddenly become animals.

@Fairislefandango well tons of MNetters certainly mange to live without dieting, or primping, and appear not to be forever young so “yes”.

Is blonde hair really a thing for men

For some, for others red heads or brunettes.
OH says he had a thing about redheads but ended up with me, blonde and flat. He wasn't how I envisioned my future husband definitely not tall, muscular and rugged. We all have our ideas.

Going to a club what attracts you to a potential partner initially?

I know a few women who only like good looking ' six pack ' men to drool over , but oddly enough their partners are generally fairly normal blokes who wouldn't win any awards for their looks.
I've also noticed that the better looking a woman is their partners are generally ordinary as well. They probably don't like the competition.!

Well, given the majority of women aren't slim, blonde, young looking and attractive, and many of them could be if they chose, but don't, I'd say they've either rejected it already, or feel it has little importance in their lives.