To wonder if being attractive and young looking seems to be the main point of being a woman..

[Stylishkidintheriot]

Just now it feels (well from the media) that the most important qualities for a woman are to a) be attractive, b) be slim and c) look young

everywhere I go I see women who seem to have had work done to themselves.

and I’m just fed up with it. I don’t want to spend my time, energy and money trying to look good. I just want to get on with my life.

who’s with me?

According to Private Eye, it was just about looking it was also the doing of some BJ activities

As you were.

Many people want to be rich.

Men focus more on how they can make the money - either through their legal careers or illegal careers.

And unfortunately many women think their way of becoming rich is to get a rich man - so they make themselves look as good as they can.

Of course there are some men who aim to get rich women but statistically it’s many more women who concentrate more on their looks than on their careers.

Plenty of men get on in life through being relatively good looking and charming too. Most romance scammers are men after all, and they tend to scam large amounts of money, houses, and so on. And their "careers" tend to go on longer because they can be silver foxes, etc..

Its just that we are conditioned to put fault at the foot of women.

But no, I suspect that in most professional jobs, having big lips and a cleavage aren't especially sought after. I can't imagine any consultants making much of a career out of it, for instance. Or picking a dentist on the basis of how young they are. Youth can be useful when job hunting but is often pegged to the will to work long hours for no extra pay, availability and low salary for lower experience.

Well they are also expected to stay looking good while juggling small children, a job, doing to food shop & laundry 🤷🏻‍♀️

Men can be quite pathetic & insecure tbh and I don't know why women are keen to impress them.

The older I get the less impressed I am. Male violence seems to be on the up.

Give head to get ahead?????

To have the widest pool to pick from so they at least have a crack at the best of a mediocre bunch. The more attractive the women, the wider her choice.

no, why do you think this way, social media May drive these ridiculous values but not in real life, switch of to whatever media crap your engaging and get out more and meet real less judgemental people.

OP "I don’t want to spend my time, energy and money trying to look good."

so why are you doing it? Is it work related? I have been there but it seems to have calmed down (plus age and experience help).

I appreciate there's work situations where that happens but it doesn't sound as if you are in one of those.

Love being "old"....had very big tits l-compared to Jessica Rabbitt 🙄
Nobody cared what I said -too busy staring !
Now overweight ,grey hair ,don't care ..never looked over -never overlooked .
Career gone from strength to strength !

@Doggydarling 😁

And isn't she just the luckiest woman alive.

This blonde thing is pure misogynistic tripe, you are just as bad as the men fawning over youth!

@EmmaH2022 it’s the constant looking about me at these type of women, and seeing them in the media.

I will say though, that I have got the best man out the lot of them though, even if I’m a wee fat frumpy thing.

My only quarrel with your post is that you started it "Just now..." as though this was some new, and shocking revelation.

I'm an old woman and can tell you that 'the media' (or Men) have always pushed the idea that a woman HAS to be young, slim and attractive to have any worth. It doesn't mean that you should listen to or go along with the bollocks that is being fed to you.

OP I had a phase of feeling I was constantly seeing hugely good looking women - again, mostly at work events. But if you don't want to put time and money in, then don't.

i can't help with media as I just ignore it.

I am still stunned on the rare occasion I go to Superdrug or something. Make up supplies multiply like rabbits.

On Mumsnet if you're not tall, slim and blonde well quite frankly your not attractive. Where does that leave ethnic minorities? We must all be hideous looking. In reality though I find as a south Asian woman with dark hair, petite, dark eyes I get plenty of attention and so do my friends. Especially from English men. However some are scared to approach/date us as they are afraid of the consequences from family members etc. But plenty want to bed/have a relationship with us.

I despair of these threads because they end up being Caucasian orientated and saying hetero men prefer slim, blonde women. Most of the hetero men I know well, especially the ones who have Caucasian ethnicity, seem to be powerfully attracted to and inspired by black ladies, and frequently ask me to introduce them to some of my female acquaintances and friends who are African/West Indian, stunning, and who have great youthful complexions, of course.

But I wonder why we women talk so confidently about the look men like - how can we really know?

@Diverseopinions I totally agree. I'm British South Asian (Pakistani) and I find white British men find us attractive. I don't know why the white users of Mumsnet seem to think that men only fall for tall, slim blonde women. I find it prejudice.

I think she got where she is by being well connected and willing to suck it up when BJ needed a wife. I think she’s pretty plain actuality but ANYWAY OP, from what you say you are doing fine in life without bothering about it, and so are many other women, so.. I don’t think you need to bother about it? And while on the one hand plastic surgery continues to be big, on the other I think how women look is less constrained that it has ever been, heels are pretty much dead, body neutrality is a thing, make up is less expected.

Go where the sunshine is and ignore the rest of it.

i'm not white and I don't understand why the discussion has gone here.☹️

@Diverseopinions
😁

Can you just not surround yourselves with shallow people? Is that an option? I don’t know anyone who cares about what others think of what they look like. It’s about personality, talents, looks don’t come into it as all in my circle of friends or work Colleagues (finance).

Had a bit of an epiphany reading this - well just a small one 😁

I have a similar figure and am young. All of my male clients at work take me seriously and I never feel this is undermined - I think the reason it is so consistent is because I work mainly remotely and they see me from the neck up.

I remember the shock I got when I met a client in person finally and he looked straight at my tits. I had always felt taken seriously by him before that.

Carrie Johnson could have had any one though, but she chose him. All that time and effort looking good yet you end up with him!

Doubtful. All I see when I look at her is teeth. Not everyone is into that.

And now, of course, I also see the image of her giving BJ BJs in the presidential office. 😵🤢

I've been dumped twice for non-white women and I'm blond and fair. I get the impression that men here (Scotland) don't like blondes much at all and many prefer non-white skin, because I get a more favourable reaction elsewhere in Europe. I've often had quite negative comments about my hair colour, length and how pale I am. Not that I care Lost count of the number of times I've had it suggested to me that I "would look better" with baylayage or as a brunette (I'm a natural blonde) or with shorter hair.