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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Were we wrong to cross the road in this way?

382 replies

UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 11:55

I was taking my DD to school this morning. There is a junction where we need to cross over the road in front then cross over the road to the left. Lots of families including us cross diagonally as it is quicker than crossing both separately.

We were late this morning so there were no other families around. We were crossing the junction and a few seconds before we got onto the pavement a car sounds it's horn loudly at us (scaring poor DD) then came round the corner and started shouting and pointing at us. I just ignored the driver as they were clearly very angry so no point in trying to have a civil conversation.

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

OP posts:
HangOnToYourself · 30/06/2022 15:30

UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:09

I'm not sure what you mean. There is enough time to cross diagonally but we were a bit slow. Like if someone started crossing after the green man had been on for a while. We were walking across the crossing when it was green man, but the lights changed just before we reached the pavement. We did not plough through a red man, we were already on the crossing. And I had left enough time, thank you.

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You are changing your story and being deliberately obtuse, it's like talking to a brick wall.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/06/2022 15:32

Surely any sane person would have by now said 'whoops, I get everyones point, I am indeed being unreasonable'.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:32

Jalepenojello · 30/06/2022 13:41

You are crossing dangerously. Did the car pass through a red light? Because if not then it appears there was not enough time for you to cross diagonally either and you shouldn’t have been on the road.

The car beeped us as the lights went to amber. Then once green they turned the corner, shouting and pointing. Many people could still be on a crossing when the lights turn green. You don't always know how long the green man will stay on for, nor how long it will take you to cross the road. If a pedestrian is crossing the road and the lights turn green, then the cars will have to wait. You can't just run someone over because they are slow etc!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/06/2022 15:34

HangOnToYourself · 30/06/2022 15:30

You are changing your story and being deliberately obtuse, it's like talking to a brick wall.

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Exactly. This is absurd.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:34

Chocolatehamper · 30/06/2022 13:42

"I'm asking technically as a pedestrian are you allowed to cross diagonally or is it against the highway code?"

The Highway Code
Rules for pedestrians (1 to 35)

  1. Crossing the road (7 to 17)
E. When it is safe, go straight across the road – do not run. Keep looking and listening for traffic while you cross, in case there is any traffic you did not see, or in case other traffic appears suddenly. Look out for cyclists and motorcyclists travelling between lanes of traffic. Do not walk diagonally across the road.

You were being unreasonable.

Fair enough.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:35

Staffy1 · 30/06/2022 13:42

I was hoping this was going to be a chicken joke.

Sorry!

OP posts:
SofiaSoFar · 30/06/2022 15:36

If a pedestrian is crossing the road and the lights turn green, then the cars will have to wait. You can't just run someone over because they are slow etc!

They didn't run you over.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:36

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/06/2022 13:43

And where on earth do you live where drivers deliberately drive at people? It sounds rough, I'd be looking to move if I were You. Hmm

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Sometimes drivers do do this even in naice areas (they can't keep dodgy people out). As you cross the road they speed up.

OP posts:
HELLITHURT · 30/06/2022 15:40

81% YABU, give it up OP

You're teaching your DD bad habits
You're being irresponsible doing that
You're avoiding the questions you don't want to answer
You're showing a lack of parenting ability and lack of being able to understand you were wrong
You're changing the story and the diagrams

I think someone beeping at you, is the least of your worries.

HELLITHURT · 30/06/2022 15:41

HangOnToYourself · 30/06/2022 15:30

You are changing your story and being deliberately obtuse, it's like talking to a brick wall.

Show quote history

Exactly!

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:43

bcc89 · 30/06/2022 13:45

It doesn't matter if "technically as a pedestrian are you allowed to cross diagonally", you cross at the crossings for a reason with your child.
It doesn't matter that she's 10 and knows the difference between crossing with an adult and crossing alone, you cross at crossings for a reason with your child.

I would rather be 5 minutes late than take any risks with my child at all. Get up ten minutes earlier and teach her to always cross at the crossing.

You would never forgive yourself if she learned bad habits about crossing roads and got hit by a car, whether on that road or any other, because she knows "mum always nips across like this".

This was nothing to do with being late, I just mentioned that to explain there wasn't a stream of families crossing over the 2 roads as there is when we are there at our usual time.

We don't 'nip' across. We walk across normally. However, I will stop doing that now. I do still cross roads without using a crossing when with my DC as there isn't always one nearby. My eldest had no problem understanding not to do that himself. We planned routes where there were crossings. I'm sure my DD will be just as sensible.

OP posts:
HELLITHURT · 30/06/2022 15:44

@UndertheCedartree had you better not head out to the school for collection, don't want you having to cut across the crossings diagonally, best to leave time to cross properly and safely and as an example to your child.

FOJN · 30/06/2022 15:44

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

I really can't follow the logic of thinking you can cross the road in a dangerous way and but you are in the right because the car should give way. The driver was wrong and you were wrong. The driver being wrong would be no comfort if you were injured. Please teach your daughter how to be safe not who she can blame when things go wrong.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 15:45

bcc89 · 30/06/2022 13:45

It doesn't matter if "technically as a pedestrian are you allowed to cross diagonally", you cross at the crossings for a reason with your child.
It doesn't matter that she's 10 and knows the difference between crossing with an adult and crossing alone, you cross at crossings for a reason with your child.

I would rather be 5 minutes late than take any risks with my child at all. Get up ten minutes earlier and teach her to always cross at the crossing.

You would never forgive yourself if she learned bad habits about crossing roads and got hit by a car, whether on that road or any other, because she knows "mum always nips across like this".

And the point of me asking 'technically' was because the highway code is a set of rules that dictate how people expect others to behave on the roads. If they do something different as many have said on this thread it confuses them.

OP posts:
tomatopsste · 30/06/2022 15:47

My eldest had no problem understanding not to do that himself. We planned routes where there were crossings. I'm sure my DD will be just as sensible.

At last! You wouldn't be happy them doing that alone, yet you teach them to do it!

YABVU

and irresponsible!

I'm glad you've finally admitted you wouldn't want your children doing it!

I'm not sure a do as I say, not do as I do attitude is the best way to teach children...,

Seeline · 30/06/2022 15:49

Do you drive OP?

ABBAsnumberonefan · 30/06/2022 15:52

@UndertheCedartree if you’re crossing diagonally then you’re not using the crossing as they’re meant to be, are you? Ffs, don’t try and be a smart arse - you were in the wrong.

ABBAsnumberonefan · 30/06/2022 15:59

& for the beeping point - it wasn’t impatience from the driver was it? it was because the pedestrian was being so impatient they broke the Highway Code to save what? 60 secs.

Zwellers · 30/06/2022 16:00

Jeez, how g

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 16:01

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/06/2022 13:51

And a car beeping its horn is to warn of a hazard, You are your dd were the hazard!

How were we a hazard when the car beeped? We were on the crossing and had been for a while!

OP posts:
MindatWork · 30/06/2022 16:02

FOJN · 30/06/2022 15:44

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

I really can't follow the logic of thinking you can cross the road in a dangerous way and but you are in the right because the car should give way. The driver was wrong and you were wrong. The driver being wrong would be no comfort if you were injured. Please teach your daughter how to be safe not who she can blame when things go wrong.

This. Your main concern, shown through repeated arguments with other posters, seems to be about who has right of way and who is right or wrong, not what is actually safe. The beeping is neither here nor there.

A 5 second google which would have immediately given you your answer. Please don't teach your daughter that pedestrians have right of way so cars will always stop for her, because they probably won't.

Were we wrong to cross the road in this way?
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 16:05

KrisAkabusi · 30/06/2022 13:55

You say you can get across "or very almost across", which measns there must be times when you can't cross before the lights change and traffic starts moving again. Clearly you're in the wrong here, particularly if you're not coming from an obvious crossing and the driver may not have seen you as you're appear in an unexpected location.

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Like anyone crossing a pedestrian crossing you don't always get across in time. There are no timers you can't help but to sometimes not get across in time. But once someone has started crossing drivers wait for them to cross. Noone starts moving while people are on the crossing. Or I've never experienced that anyway!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 16:07

SheWoreYellow · 30/06/2022 13:57

If it’s green for all crossings then why did she beep at you? Were you late crossing too?

We were on the 2nd crossing and as we approached the pavement the lights were turning to amber. So she maybe had to wait a couple of extra seconds for us to cross.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 16:08

RegardingMary · 30/06/2022 14:00

You had the right of way as a pedestrian but crossing like you did was unsafe.

Driving it annoys me when I see this at a local junction, your doubling the amount ofcriaka your taking.

I understand, thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 16:10

Abitofalark · 30/06/2022 14:14

What does the writing on the left say and where is the offending car?

It look unsafe to me to be in the middle of a junction like that and I would feel very vulnerable. A car driver will be used to seeing people crossing at the lights and will have that pattern in mind more than one of expecting to see people in the middle of the junction so that adds an element of risk. We all rely to an extent on assumptions and predictions of how people will behave and don't always remember to expect the unexpected.

It says pavement! We don't actually go right in the middle as per my 2nd diagram, but I take your point. However, people cross like this all the time so it shouldn't really be unexpected.

OP posts: