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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Were we wrong to cross the road in this way?

382 replies

UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 11:55

I was taking my DD to school this morning. There is a junction where we need to cross over the road in front then cross over the road to the left. Lots of families including us cross diagonally as it is quicker than crossing both separately.

We were late this morning so there were no other families around. We were crossing the junction and a few seconds before we got onto the pavement a car sounds it's horn loudly at us (scaring poor DD) then came round the corner and started shouting and pointing at us. I just ignored the driver as they were clearly very angry so no point in trying to have a civil conversation.

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:01

Tryingtokeepgoing · 30/06/2022 18:09

One could also say impatience is no reason to ignore the Highway Code and cross diagonally, so you’re hardly arguing from a position of strength here ;)

Show quote history

Yes, you could say that and it's true but doesn't negate what I said. But I wasn't impatient, I'd just got into the habit of walking that way. I didn't realise it was advised against in the highway code. But as someone has pointed out the use of the horn inappropriately attracts a fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:08

Pixiedust1234 · 30/06/2022 19:30

I'm confused. You say you were on a crossing, then say you were walking diagonally so you didn't have to do two crossings. That automatically means you werent on a crossing. You were in the wrong.

Since you werent directly facing the traffic lights (on the official crossing) then I would assume the driver beeped to warn you that the lights had changed.

YABU and dangerous.

If you see my 2nd diagram the diagonal bit took a few seconds. So most of the time I was on the crossing. When on the crossing you aren't facing the traffic lights. You can still tell out of the corner of your eye when they change. If you were actually walking fully diagonally then you would be able to see the traffic lights. So I don't understand what you mean. Either way it was clear from the horn that they were doing it out of anger, backed up by the shouting and gesturing.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:10

Blanketpolicy · 30/06/2022 19:40

The driver should not have sounded horn at you, but YABVU and irresponsible to teach young children to unsafely cross that way just to save a few seconds.

I wasn't trying to save a few seconds and my DD is not young and I've taught her to cross safely.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:12

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 19:41

Stop talking rubbish!

sadly it's not rubbish, road rage will probably get you a custodial sentence but many drivers do kill pedestrians - even on the pavement and don't go to prison

often after such cases the family of the victim are incensed at the injustice

My young cousin was actually killed like this and the driver didn't go to prison.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:19

GoldenSpiral · 30/06/2022 19:57

You shouldn't be doing this with a child or as a lone adult. If you think your DC are going to follow the highway code as teenagers when you aren't watching, then you're deluded. Children follow by example. You're the classic example of 'do as I say, not as I do'.

I'll be honest, I think you're deluded if you think the only way to teach DC how to behave is 'follow by example'. 'Don't smoke' but I was well aware of the adults who were puffing away when they thought their children couldn't see! And if your DC only behave when you're watching them how are they going to get on in life. I know my DC understand the reasons for teaching them things and yes, they follow them because why wouldn't you?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:24

BitOutOfPractice · 30/06/2022 20:24

“We were on the crossing when they beeped. The diagonal bit only takes a couple of seconds.”

m erm, that’s not what you said in your op or on your diagram @UndertheCedartree

I drew the original diagram to clearly show how we were crossing in one go. I then altered it to show our exact route. I said we were almost to the pavement so not sure how it would be possible to not be on the crossing at this point anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:27

OnTheBoardwalk · 30/06/2022 22:04

Accept you agree they were crossing unsafely but, they have right of way at an actual crossing with crossing lights, not randomly walking in the middle of 4 roads like OP did

  • At a junction you should give way to pedestrians crossing or waiting to cross a road into which or from which you are turning.*
this is from the Highway Code, you should not must not give way from a road from which you are turning

sorry OP you were in the wrong

Show quote history

That's ok, I accept it!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:33

WeAreBob · 30/06/2022 22:38

I just want to correct all the people saying that pedestrians have right of way.

The changes to the highway code mean pedestrians have right of way on side roads, not the main carriageway.

If you're driving along a main road and want to turn off down a side road, but there is a pedestrians waiting to cross that side road (not cross the main road you are on but to cross the side road you want to turn into) then you cannot turn in. You need to wait.

If you are on the side road and are driving towards the junction to join the main road and there is, again, a pedestrian waiting to cross the side road you are driving on (so they're waiting to cross right in front of you) then you cannot drive right up to the junction. You need to let them cross and then approach the junction.

But pedestrians don't have right of way to cross the main road.

If I'm driving up a side road and ready the junction to then pull out onto the main road, but a pedestrian is on the corner wanting to cross that main road, they do not have right of way.

The second crossing I was on isn't on the main road, but do they both count as main roads as there is a pedestrian crossing on them?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:36

worriedatthistime · 30/06/2022 23:01

I would of probably beeped and shouted at you to
Cross the road properly

While not driving properly?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:37

FrangipaniBlue · 30/06/2022 23:08

But you were being impatient too OP.......

No, I was being habitual.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:39

FrangipaniBlue · 30/06/2022 23:10

The driver probably beeped not because you were still on the crossing when the light changed but because they had literally just sat and watched you break the Highway Code and try to 'beat the lights' through your own impatience

It's funny how cars never do that when it doesn't hold them up, though? And complaining about someone breaking the highway code by breaking the highway code - I must admit it makes no sense to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:40

ABBAsnumberonefan · 30/06/2022 23:15

OP the Highway Code has literally been quoted multiple times in this thread, stop.

I know??

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 01/07/2022 01:42

I would only cross diagonally when the intersection is marked for diagonal pedestrian crossing. It’s quite handy when it is, but it means traffic comes to a full stop to accommodate.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:43

HorseInTheHouse · 30/06/2022 23:28

I think you should write to the council or whoever is in charge of traffic light timings in the UK (sorry I'm not 100% sure) and explain the issues with this intersection. They should either extend the green phase for pedestrians significantly to allow crossing two roads straight or extend it slightly and add a diagonal crossing. It's absurd and not right that pedestrians should have to wait much longer to negotiate an intersection than motorists just because the lights have been set up to favour cars.

Try talking to other parents or locals who also negotiate the intersection as pedestrians and see if you can join forces to get this fixed.

Oh and I agree with you that beeping is completely unnecessary and rude. The driver should have waited if you were still crossing.

That's interesting, thank you, I will look into that.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:46

vandertable · 30/06/2022 23:55

You were silly to cross diagonally, frustrating though it is to have to wait twice. Any car driver that beeps aggressively at a primary aged kid because of a two second delay to their journey (even if they think they're beeping at the "naughty" parents) really needs to take a long look at themselves in the mirror though. Too many drivers think they own the bloody road.

Ok, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:52

dustandroses · 01/07/2022 00:16

If the green man is on for all 4 crossings how come the driver came around the corner if the lights were on red?

She either ran a red light and SWBU or you were crossing when the green man was unlit and YWBU.

But whether it’s in the Highway Code or not, anyone who walks across a diagonal is taking a risk. And as much as you protest you are teaching your child bad habits. Lead by example.

She was stationary when she sounded the horn at us. As I said the lights weren't on red then they were on red and amber. They then turn to green at which point she came round the corner shouting and pointing. The green man was lit at the point we were on the second crossing but it had turned off when we were almost at the pavement.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 01:56

Ponderingwindow · 01/07/2022 01:42

I would only cross diagonally when the intersection is marked for diagonal pedestrian crossing. It’s quite handy when it is, but it means traffic comes to a full stop to accommodate.

Ok, thank you, I will check this out so I know the difference.

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dustandroses · 01/07/2022 02:08

The green man was lit at the point we were on the second crossing but it had turned off when we were almost at the pavement.

Well there you go it doesn't matter how you dress it up you didn't cross the road properly because you were still on the road when the lights changed. It clearly takes more than a few seconds trying to beat two sets of light diagonally.

Had you crossed the road and waited for the lights to change then road rage woman would have had no need to beep and scare your child. The consequences of your own actions.

Teaching your child bad habits there, but maybe after getting a fright she will make you cross properly next time saying as you have taught her so well.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/07/2022 02:34

dustandroses · 01/07/2022 02:08

The green man was lit at the point we were on the second crossing but it had turned off when we were almost at the pavement.

Well there you go it doesn't matter how you dress it up you didn't cross the road properly because you were still on the road when the lights changed. It clearly takes more than a few seconds trying to beat two sets of light diagonally.

Had you crossed the road and waited for the lights to change then road rage woman would have had no need to beep and scare your child. The consequences of your own actions.

Teaching your child bad habits there, but maybe after getting a fright she will make you cross properly next time saying as you have taught her so well.

People are still on the road when the lights change for all sorts of reasons! It doesn't mean someone has crossed the road incorrectly, how ridiculous! And a car really can't wait a couple of seconds for someone to reach the pavement and therefore 'needs' to sound their horn aggressively as well as shouting and pointing while driving? I mean, come on that's far more dangerous than anything I did!

I very much doubt her seeing someone act in such an aggressive and dangerous way will teach her anything about road safety, funnily enough!

OP posts:
dustandroses · 01/07/2022 03:35

Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

Yes

FrangipaniBlue · 01/07/2022 07:33

I think the OP has posted more than every other poster on this thread..

OP "was I wrong?"
MN "yes"
OP "ok, but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but....."

SAYING you accept you were in the wrong and actually ACCEPTING that you were in the wrong are clearly not the same.

and if crossing diagonally because you didn't want to wait for 2 sets of crossings isn't being impatient then I really don't know what is.

ABBAsnumberonefan · 01/07/2022 07:51

If you “know” it’s been quoted multiple times and you can clearly it was you who was in fact being unreasonable why are you still arguing with everyone and trying to twist it to make you seem right??

tomatopsste · 01/07/2022 07:55

Up until 2.34am posting .... don't leave late for school, you've got to make time for two sets of lights @UndertheCedartree 😂

ittakes2 · 01/07/2022 07:55

I did that parent road safety training where we then volunteer to teach the kids in our school. Its very dangerous to cross this way plus you are teaching your daughter bad habits - children are smaller and its harder for drivers to see them. You must always install in her good road safety rules - accidents happen when people are in a hurry and not paying full attention and I mean this for the person crossing and the cars.

Momicrone · 01/07/2022 07:56

I'm with you op, so many drivers are entitled impatient arseholes, I don't give a fig whose right of way it is - be nice to pedestrians. Cars have dominated our roads for far too long.