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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Were we wrong to cross the road in this way?

382 replies

UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 11:55

I was taking my DD to school this morning. There is a junction where we need to cross over the road in front then cross over the road to the left. Lots of families including us cross diagonally as it is quicker than crossing both separately.

We were late this morning so there were no other families around. We were crossing the junction and a few seconds before we got onto the pavement a car sounds it's horn loudly at us (scaring poor DD) then came round the corner and started shouting and pointing at us. I just ignored the driver as they were clearly very angry so no point in trying to have a civil conversation.

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:14

JauntyJinty · 30/06/2022 15:05

What a strage thing to do! Why wouldn't you go directly if you were crossing diagnoally? Whats with the weird half diagonlly and then join the crossing part way thing?

So you usually make it across in time but didn't today? Either you crossed unusally slowy (despite being in a rush) or rushed out just before the lights changed then. I'm guessing the latter.

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It's just so that we are mostly on the 'official' crossing so if we did cross late we can stop after the first crossing and as there are usually lots of people some going straight across it's not really possible to going directly diagonally anyway.

We weren't in a rush, we crossed at normal pace. We were either a little slow or stepped out a few seconds after the green man came on.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:18

SmartCarDriver · 30/06/2022 15:09

What a strage thing to do! Why wouldn't you go directly if you were crossing diagnoally? Whats with the weird half diagonlly and then join the crossing part way thing?

OP was getting a hard time so decided that the diagram she had carefully drawn, showing the diagonal crossing that she's mentioned a lot, was in fact wrong and it wasn't diagonal at all.

Oh for goodness sake! I thought people would understand what I was getting at when I marked the diagonal. That we crossed both roads at once, not that we walked the exact path. People kept saying we weren't on the crossing so I was trying to show that we actually were most of the time.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:19

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 30/06/2022 15:09

Someone has literally posted the rule in the thread!

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I know, I read it!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:23

SmartCarDriver · 30/06/2022 15:06

That wasn't my point. My point was that if pedestrians have to wait long times for crossings (often at least double the time cars have to wait) then they will cross diagonally. If that was an issue and it needed to be stopped it could be done by allowing pedestrians to get across quicker more in line with the time drivers have to wait.

You know about the crossing, you know it takes an extra few minutes, get up earlier and stop teaching your DD bad habits.

Little point teaching her good habits, if you're then going to negate that with bad habits!

I was up plenty early, thanks. We weren't rushing. She's not tiny she understands that you don't just blindly follow what adults do.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:27

tomatopsste · 30/06/2022 15:24

@UndertheCedartree you seem to be avoiding the question...... unsurprisingly

And you seem not to understand...I'm answering in order.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:36

HangOnToYourself · 30/06/2022 15:30

You are changing your story and being deliberately obtuse, it's like talking to a brick wall.

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I've not changed anything. I said we were almost at the pavement when the car sounded it's horn, so clearly we didn't just decide to cross a road on the red man. I never said anything about not having enough time for my journey. I just said people cross like that as it's quicker. I mean the actual difference it would make if you were running late would be minimal.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:38

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/06/2022 15:32

Surely any sane person would have by now said 'whoops, I get everyones point, I am indeed being unreasonable'.

I have already said I was unreasonable and would stop doing it.

OP posts:
WeAreBob · 30/06/2022 22:38

I just want to correct all the people saying that pedestrians have right of way.

The changes to the highway code mean pedestrians have right of way on side roads, not the main carriageway.

If you're driving along a main road and want to turn off down a side road, but there is a pedestrians waiting to cross that side road (not cross the main road you are on but to cross the side road you want to turn into) then you cannot turn in. You need to wait.

If you are on the side road and are driving towards the junction to join the main road and there is, again, a pedestrian waiting to cross the side road you are driving on (so they're waiting to cross right in front of you) then you cannot drive right up to the junction. You need to let them cross and then approach the junction.

But pedestrians don't have right of way to cross the main road.

If I'm driving up a side road and ready the junction to then pull out onto the main road, but a pedestrian is on the corner wanting to cross that main road, they do not have right of way.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:41

SofiaSoFar · 30/06/2022 15:36

If a pedestrian is crossing the road and the lights turn green, then the cars will have to wait. You can't just run someone over because they are slow etc!

They didn't run you over.

Apparently, they almost did according to someone on here! My point is a car can't just go purely because the light turns green as many are insisting they should be able to - sometimes there may be someone still on the crossing and they have to wait.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:44

HELLITHURT · 30/06/2022 15:40

81% YABU, give it up OP

You're teaching your DD bad habits
You're being irresponsible doing that
You're avoiding the questions you don't want to answer
You're showing a lack of parenting ability and lack of being able to understand you were wrong
You're changing the story and the diagrams

I think someone beeping at you, is the least of your worries.

I already said ages ago I understand I was being unreasonable. Just because someone wants to post a question 4 times or so doesn't mean I'm ignoring them, I just read through in order like most people. My parenting ability is fine thanks. Personally I prefer my way as I'm autistic and it makes more sense to me. I appreciate others clearly don't get it, though.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:48

HELLITHURT · 30/06/2022 15:44

@UndertheCedartree had you better not head out to the school for collection, don't want you having to cut across the crossings diagonally, best to leave time to cross properly and safely and as an example to your child.

I don't collect my DD on Thursdays. And how would it be an example to my DC as obviously she wouldn't be with me while I walk to collect her from school?? As I've tried to explain, it's just a bit of a habit that we cross that way. It's not because we don't have enough time. We always have plenty of time.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:52

FOJN · 30/06/2022 15:44

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

I really can't follow the logic of thinking you can cross the road in a dangerous way and but you are in the right because the car should give way. The driver was wrong and you were wrong. The driver being wrong would be no comfort if you were injured. Please teach your daughter how to be safe not who she can blame when things go wrong.

To be honest, I didn't really see it as dangerous. But I see that it could be. I absolutely agree the driver being wrong would be no comfort if we were injured, that wasn't why I was asking if it was wrong. It was so I could understand what the rules were and what drivers might be expecting. I have taught her to be safe.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:56

tomatopsste · 30/06/2022 15:47

My eldest had no problem understanding not to do that himself. We planned routes where there were crossings. I'm sure my DD will be just as sensible.

At last! You wouldn't be happy them doing that alone, yet you teach them to do it!

YABVU

and irresponsible!

I'm glad you've finally admitted you wouldn't want your children doing it!

I'm not sure a do as I say, not do as I do attitude is the best way to teach children...,

No, I don't teach them that. I think teaching them not to blindly follow adults is the best way to teach them. It worked with my DS and I'm sure will work with my DD. I get it may not work with your children but I'm just talking about mine.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:57

Seeline · 30/06/2022 15:49

Do you drive OP?

No, I don't which makes it a bit harder to understand.

OP posts:
worriedatthistime · 30/06/2022 23:01

I would of probably beeped and shouted at you to
Cross the road properly

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 23:04

ABBAsnumberonefan · 30/06/2022 15:59

& for the beeping point - it wasn’t impatience from the driver was it? it was because the pedestrian was being so impatient they broke the Highway Code to save what? 60 secs.

I think it was impatience. The reason is because I have never heard a driver sound their horn at people crossing like this. Which surely they would if this is about people being dangerous or breaking the highway code? In this situation the driver was held up for a few seconds and that is the time someone sounds their horn. I wasn't being impatient, I just always cross like that. But obviously it is a bad habit.

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FrangipaniBlue · 30/06/2022 23:08

But you were being impatient too OP.......

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 23:08

MindatWork · 30/06/2022 16:02

This. Your main concern, shown through repeated arguments with other posters, seems to be about who has right of way and who is right or wrong, not what is actually safe. The beeping is neither here nor there.

A 5 second google which would have immediately given you your answer. Please don't teach your daughter that pedestrians have right of way so cars will always stop for her, because they probably won't.

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But people say it is against the highway code so is dangerous but when I ask about the highway code to find out if it is dangerous I am wrong. I did try and Google but it just kept saying about the new rules. The trouble is people want to tell me what they think happened rather than let me say what actually happened. So people say it is dangerous because of x y or z but those things didn't actually happen it doesn't really help.

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FrangipaniBlue · 30/06/2022 23:10

The driver probably beeped not because you were still on the crossing when the light changed but because they had literally just sat and watched you break the Highway Code and try to 'beat the lights' through your own impatience

ABBAsnumberonefan · 30/06/2022 23:15

OP the Highway Code has literally been quoted multiple times in this thread, stop.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 23:18

Doisaysomethingornot · 30/06/2022 16:14

I'm not sure what type of crossing it is. I.e is it the one where it flashes amber to say drivers can go if no on on crossing or the other type where it's the red and amber lights together before green (they probably have proper names but you know what I mean)

If it's the later the ones near me have a timing where it's fully on red man before it starts turning the traffic lights to red and amber together.

If you were still on the crossing at that point you started crossing late.

The timings clearly aren't set up for diagonal as you said yourself you are normally nearly across before the cars can go.
If the council/highways (whoever sets this up) deemed it safe to cross diagonal they would have put a longer green man.

There's a crossing like you decide in a town near me, people cross diagonally sometimes, except they always jog/fast walk across as the lights not on long enough, and even then it's touch and go if they all make it in time.

I'll be honest as a driver does my head in when pedestrians have clear not used a crossing properly or just walk out on the road when they shouldn't be. Its dangerous for the pedestrian and the driver.

Also what would happen if a driver went through that red light, crossing normally you'd be able to see cars weren't stopping or slowing down and take action, diagonal crossing your trying to judge 4 roads and check cars (or even emergency vehicles) aren't ignoring a red light.

Not worth it in my opinion

It's the red and amber one. So are you not meant to cross on the green man if you don't enter the road as soon as it turns to green?. So if you arrive at the road and it is green should you wait for the next green man?

Yes, I see your point. We are mostly on the actual crossing and not jogging/fast walking so I feel I can see what is happening when I cross from one to the other, but I'll be more careful now.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 23:23

HELLITHURT · 30/06/2022 16:20

Yeah but they probably don't come whinging on MN about the situation.

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So you're agreeing it happens all the time? I thought people were saying noone could be expected to anticipate this? I wasn't whining I was finding out if we wrong to cross like that. I wrote that as my title.

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HorseInTheHouse · 30/06/2022 23:28

I think you should write to the council or whoever is in charge of traffic light timings in the UK (sorry I'm not 100% sure) and explain the issues with this intersection. They should either extend the green phase for pedestrians significantly to allow crossing two roads straight or extend it slightly and add a diagonal crossing. It's absurd and not right that pedestrians should have to wait much longer to negotiate an intersection than motorists just because the lights have been set up to favour cars.

Try talking to other parents or locals who also negotiate the intersection as pedestrians and see if you can join forces to get this fixed.

Oh and I agree with you that beeping is completely unnecessary and rude. The driver should have waited if you were still crossing.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 23:29

ZeroFuchsGiven · 30/06/2022 16:26

Eh? You stated in your op you done it to save time.

Lots of families including us cross diagonally as it is quicker than crossing both separately.

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I meant lots of families do it as it is quicker, not that we do. I do it out of habit but realistically it doesn't really save enough time that people are genuinely doing it to save time. I mean I think people just get bored standing at pedestrian crossings.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 23:34

FirewomanSam · 30/06/2022 16:30

There was a crossing exactly like this on my walk to school as a kid. Big, busy junction where all four sides get the green man at the same time. People used to cross diagonally all the time (including me as a teen when I was old enough to walk to school alone) but you would have to move pretty fast to get all the way across before the lights changed, and it was too tight to do that while dragging a small child by the hand so you’d usually see parents with young children waiting and doing it properly (i.e. in two sections).

If I’ve understood right, you got beeped at because you were still in the road and hadn’t quite finished crossing when the lights changed. The diagonal thing is irrelevant really. Drivers shouldn’t really beep at you for that as it doesn’t serve much purpose other than letting you know they’re pissed off, but it’s pretty normal (rightly or wrongly) for a driver to beep at a pedestrian who is still in the road when the lights change.

You can get across this one at normal pace, but obviously depends when you start crossing. Yes, that is right we were on the 2nd crossing almost at the pavement. I don't think it is fair to beep at someone still crossing if it is just because they are slow or disabled or something.

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