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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Were we wrong to cross the road in this way?

382 replies

UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 11:55

I was taking my DD to school this morning. There is a junction where we need to cross over the road in front then cross over the road to the left. Lots of families including us cross diagonally as it is quicker than crossing both separately.

We were late this morning so there were no other families around. We were crossing the junction and a few seconds before we got onto the pavement a car sounds it's horn loudly at us (scaring poor DD) then came round the corner and started shouting and pointing at us. I just ignored the driver as they were clearly very angry so no point in trying to have a civil conversation.

I always thought if a pedestrian was crossing a road then a car needs to give way to them. Or are we wrong to cross diagonally?

OP posts:
Tryingtokeepgoing · 30/06/2022 18:09

UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 14:51

I wasn't asking why (it was obviously impatience) I was just describing what happened for context. But of course impatience isn't a justifiable reason to beep at a pedestrian.

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One could also say impatience is no reason to ignore the Highway Code and cross diagonally, so you’re hardly arguing from a position of strength here ;)

tomatopsste · 30/06/2022 18:27

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 18:05

tomatopsste. its a £1000 fine

What is? Road rage? Surely it's dependent on actions, if you killed me through road rage I'd expect a bit more?

It's their a certain decibel of shouting and sounding of horn that denotes road rage? Like I mutter loudly FFS, or I get out of the car and shout it?

So is road rage remaining in the car as bad an offence?

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 19:08

if you killed me through road rage I'd expect a bit more?

I doubt it'd be any more than a £1000 fine - if there was even a fine. TBH it's the best way to kill someone and walk free, rare for drivers to face much punishment for killing a pedestrian.

tomatopsste · 30/06/2022 19:17

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 19:08

if you killed me through road rage I'd expect a bit more?

I doubt it'd be any more than a £1000 fine - if there was even a fine. TBH it's the best way to kill someone and walk free, rare for drivers to face much punishment for killing a pedestrian.

Stop talking rubbish!

Pixiedust1234 · 30/06/2022 19:30

I'm confused. You say you were on a crossing, then say you were walking diagonally so you didn't have to do two crossings. That automatically means you werent on a crossing. You were in the wrong.

Since you werent directly facing the traffic lights (on the official crossing) then I would assume the driver beeped to warn you that the lights had changed.

YABU and dangerous.

ABBAsnumberonefan · 30/06/2022 19:35

Funny that you ignored my replies, isn’t it babes! X x

Blanketpolicy · 30/06/2022 19:40

The driver should not have sounded horn at you, but YABVU and irresponsible to teach young children to unsafely cross that way just to save a few seconds.

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 19:41

Stop talking rubbish!

sadly it's not rubbish, road rage will probably get you a custodial sentence but many drivers do kill pedestrians - even on the pavement and don't go to prison

often after such cases the family of the victim are incensed at the injustice

tomatopsste · 30/06/2022 19:44

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 19:41

Stop talking rubbish!

sadly it's not rubbish, road rage will probably get you a custodial sentence but many drivers do kill pedestrians - even on the pavement and don't go to prison

often after such cases the family of the victim are incensed at the injustice

Statistics please?

GoldenSpiral · 30/06/2022 19:57

You shouldn't be doing this with a child or as a lone adult. If you think your DC are going to follow the highway code as teenagers when you aren't watching, then you're deluded. Children follow by example. You're the classic example of 'do as I say, not as I do'.

BitOutOfPractice · 30/06/2022 20:24

“We were on the crossing when they beeped. The diagonal bit only takes a couple of seconds.”

m erm, that’s not what you said in your op or on your diagram @UndertheCedartree

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:24

HangOnToYourself · 30/06/2022 14:48

Not sure why you have started this thread as you seem convinced you are right and not taking on board the many reasons why you were not.

I've already conceded I was in the wrong. I'm just responding to people's questions or correcting things about what actually happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:27

Rats21 · 30/06/2022 14:51

The crossings are timed for average time it takes people to get from one side of the crossing to the other. Of course some people are slower and cars have to wait.
They aren’t designed for people cutting across roads diagonally so that will be why the driver got annoyed and rightly so. Cross roads properly.

Do you mean because then she had to wait a couple of seconds or just because she was that outraged I'd broken a rule?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:31

iklboo · 30/06/2022 14:52

We were almost across the road as the lights changed. The car sounded their horn at us as the lights changed. I mean what are you meant to do if you are slow crossing? Run back the other way? Or just stand in the road as cars drive around you?

Use the crossing properly? You weren't ON the crossings. You were at the junction and walked diagonally across the road. Where there were no markings or crossings.

As I've said we were on the crossing when the incident happened. What I mean is if someone is crossing straight over but is slow to cross what do they do? Because plenty of posters have said it is wrong to still be on the crossing when the lights change.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 30/06/2022 21:33

Ncwinc · 30/06/2022 12:03

He was an arsehole who behaved in an unacceptable way. Having said that, I wouldn’t cross diagonally with a child. I’d do it the way you’d want them to do it if they were alone ie the safest possible way.

This. It does sound a bit dangerous crossing diagonally, and I would also want to model the safest way.

BrutusMcDogface · 30/06/2022 21:34

Oops, how did I not realise this thread was 10 pages long?! Sorry, haven’t rtft obviously 🙄

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:46

lanthanum · 30/06/2022 14:55

Even there, I'd be wary of doing that with a child in tow - because they might assume that all junctions with pedestrian crossings have a pedestrian-only phase - and plenty do not.

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When mine were younger I was very careful with this. But I suppose now they are old enough to understand the difference between how adults sometimes cross Vs. how they should cross maybe I've got too lax. Mind you, I prefer them to understand how they should cross when alone and not just think they should do what adults do...as plenty of adults like me don't always get it right.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:52

LetitiaLeghorn · 30/06/2022 14:58

I'm asking technically as a pedestrian are you allowed to cross diagonally

No.

or is it against the highway code?

Yes.

What's more, there no reason why you and your 10yo can't get across the road in a timely manner. The timings are set to give plenty of time to get across. If you're late for school why are you crossing so slowly? Pick up the pace.

Eh? I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying everyone can get across based on the time the green man is on as that's really not true on every crossing. But in my situation we were obviously crossing 2 roads, but we can get across both within the time most of the time. We cross at a normal pace, we don't rush or run across the road as obviously that is dangerous and against the highway code. I was explaining we were going in late for context that it was just us crossing. We were going in late as arranged, we weren't running late, if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:54

PinkPanther50 · 30/06/2022 14:58

Not unreasonable. We have a crossroads in town and I do exactly that as do others. You just have to be a bit quicker as the diagonal way is longer than the straight across way 😂

People do it everywhere, ime. So strange some posters have never come across this.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 21:57

Beachsidesunset · 30/06/2022 14:59

7.A, sorry. You're wrong OP and teaching your child road safety poorly.

I think I've taught her well. She knows what to do and not to just blindly follow the adults.

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 30/06/2022 22:04

RegardingMary · 30/06/2022 14:00

You had the right of way as a pedestrian but crossing like you did was unsafe.

Driving it annoys me when I see this at a local junction, your doubling the amount ofcriaka your taking.

Accept you agree they were crossing unsafely but, they have right of way at an actual crossing with crossing lights, not randomly walking in the middle of 4 roads like OP did

  • At a junction you should give way to pedestrians crossing or waiting to cross a road into which or from which you are turning.*
this is from the Highway Code, you should not must not give way from a road from which you are turning

sorry OP you were in the wrong

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:05

HangOnToYourself · 30/06/2022 15:04

You do understand you have just completely changed your story from crossing diagonally (so not on a crossing) to saying you were on the crossing. Your first picture very clearly is showing a diagonal that is not on the actual crossing and now that everyone has pointed out this wrong you have completely backtracked and pretended you were on the crossing the whole time 🙄 hopefully you have learnt something at least and will be more careful in future even if you want to keep up your charade on here.

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Look, before I get into the classic MN thing of others telling people what they actually think, what they actually understand and what actually happened. I'm autistic. If I say I don't understand something that is because I don't understand something. I do not play games with my words. I realised that people didn't quite understand and so drew what it actually looks like. Some people are going across diagonally so obviously you can't really just cut across like that even if you wanted to. As you can see clearly I wasn't on the crossing the whole time because that would be impossible based on the scenario. But we were on the crossing most of the time. And we were on it when the incident happened.

At a crossing drivers should not just have their eyes on the lights as obviously the road will not necessarily be clear for them as it is a crossing and people might be crossing and they might not have finished crossing when the lights change.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 30/06/2022 22:08

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 30/06/2022 15:05

No you were crossing diagonally not on the crossing.

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We were on the crossing when the incident happened. The car did not think we were 'going to the crossing' as we were on the crossing.

OP posts: