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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude to bring lunch for kids

28 replies

majormumma · 30/06/2022 11:11

I’m visiting a friend with a newborn and due to some appointments she has has a window of 12.00-3 to visit. I have 2 DC, DS will get picked up at 12 and my plan was to then drive to friends house. Would it be unreasonable to pack a sandwich for them? I am torn. In no way do I want to inconvenience my friend with any mess but I also know they’ll lose their shit if they don’t eat. I could bring them home first and feed them but then by the time I get to my friends it’ll be time to leave.

OP posts:
Roseandrose20 · 30/06/2022 11:14

No not at all! You could do a picnic lunch for you all? Including the new mum if you have time / resources but definitely do for your kids.

DisgruntledPelican · 30/06/2022 11:14

Not remotely unreasonable! How on earth could it be rude?

Lowcarbfest · 30/06/2022 11:15

I don't know why you need to ask. Yes make a sandwich. Where will the mess come from? The wrapping? Put it in her bin or take a small disposable bag with you.

Original poster
majormumma · 30/06/2022 11:16

Ok thank you, I’m having one of those overthink everything days that I seem to be having regularly 😅

OP posts:
DenholmElliot1 · 30/06/2022 11:16

Surely she'll provide lunch for you?

womaninatightspot · 30/06/2022 11:17

I'd do it. Tidy food if you can. I do mini sausages rather than sandwiches. Fruit/ veggies presliced as less mess.

jellybe · 30/06/2022 11:17

Offer to take lunch for all of you. I know I really appreciated it when friends came to visit my new borns when they offered to bring us all a picnic lunch was so lovely to have someone else make me a sandwich. 😊

KosherDill · 30/06/2022 11:17

Why not take lunch for yourself and her, too?

womaninatightspot · 30/06/2022 11:17

DenholmElliot1 · 30/06/2022 11:16

Surely she'll provide lunch for you?

She has a newborn, pretty sure OP doesn't want to turn up and be waited upon.

Thursday37 · 30/06/2022 11:18

Why would anyone invite you to meet them at lunchtime and not make any provision for lunch? Did you not ask what you’d be doing for food when arranging it?
I always take snacks anywhere’s for DD, but I’d never arrange a lunchtime meeting without making arrangements for eating, either before or during. That doesn’t mean I’d assume the person hosting would provide it, I’d always suggest bringing food for everyone.

IWasFunBeforeMum · 30/06/2022 11:18

If I was her I'd be overjoyed if you came armed with a picnic for you all!

KarrotKake · 30/06/2022 11:18

If you were visiting me 12-3, I'd feed you.
Or are you saying the friend has a newborn? In which case I'd offer to bring lunch for them (and you!).

Christinatheastonishing · 30/06/2022 11:18

Your friend might be very grateful if you offer to bring sandwiches for everyone!

csection12 · 30/06/2022 11:18

DenholmElliot1 · 30/06/2022 11:16

Surely she'll provide lunch for you?

A woman with a newborn baby shouldn’t be hosting.

OP- I don’t know why you aren’t offering to pick up lunch for her tbh and bring a small picnic for you all.

swishswashswoosh · 30/06/2022 11:19

I would check with friend. If she wants to chat with you she will find it hard with your children there. Equally how newborn is her child? She is probably exhausted but she might have a dream sleeper and be keen for all company. She might love your child as much as you and be aghast that you would consider not bringing them. Feeding them is just part and parcel of a child coming too.

But this is simply communication, ask her what she would prefer and be very open to the fact she may say no thanks to having your child with you. It won't be personal, she might just be so exhausted having a child causing mayhem on top of everything might just tip her over the edge.

purplecorkheart · 30/06/2022 11:20

I would text her and tell her you are bring lunch for her and all of you.

SnowyLamb · 30/06/2022 11:20

I'd talk to friend. If she's invited you 12-3, I expect she's planned lunch or would be grateful to have you plan and bring lunch for everyone.

Original poster
majormumma · 30/06/2022 11:20

I just ate breakfast so I won’t be hungry and have asked my friend if she’d like lunch or anything picking up. Thanks for your comments

OP posts:
SleeplessInEngland · 30/06/2022 11:20

Lol, course that''s fine. MN does throw up the funniest concerns sometimes.

Original poster
majormumma · 30/06/2022 11:22

I think if overthinking was a sport I’d be in line for some serious medals

OP posts:
Happytap · 30/06/2022 11:34

I’d make the new mum a sandwich too and take it with me

EarlGreywithLemon · 30/06/2022 11:41

I had a visit exactly like that from a good friend when I had my newborn daughter. She suggested over lunch and said she’d bring food for her toddler. She offered to pick up lunch for us too. I already had lots of food in so said no to that. But I was grateful that she had food for the toddler, as I wouldn’t have known what to feed him. She and I put together a picnic lunch from the fridge for us whilst the toddler ate his. It was lovely and very relaxed.

Holidayworries · 30/06/2022 11:43

Just take her some lunch. She might feel uncomfortable asking for anything, but would be glad if it. If not, you can always take it home with you.

daisyjgrey · 30/06/2022 11:48

DenholmElliot1 · 30/06/2022 11:16

Surely she'll provide lunch for you?

Good lord.

janesmithsdog · 30/06/2022 11:48

What a missed opportunity to have lunch with a friend!

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