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Original poster

Fit to EXPLODE - re work colleague

102 replies

cofingalthetime · 30/06/2022 09:16

Sorry for the rant, but honestly, I feel like screaming.

So a colleague, who has worked with me for about 18 months just finished in this role, and has a new job - different department.

BUT, she just won't "let go" of her role. I'm supposed to be looking after her work until they get someone, which I was so happy to do as I don't have enough to do at work, and I want to be busy.

Already the manager has tried to take work off me, and says she will do it until they get a new person - but I argued and said it was no problem

Anyway, what is making me explode today is this colleague is actually on Annual Leave, starting today, until Tuesday - but she is still on her email - she sent her first one at 7.30 this morning. She won't put on an out of office directing queries to me, or to the generic inbox. She is replying to everything, and doing everything herself and just copying me in. I responded and asked her to put on OOO directing them to me, and saying she's on leave, but she hasn't replied and in the meantime has replied to more emails. i've copied in the manager, but she is silent - as she always has been since this started - colleague has been trying to do her job and mine since she began in the role.

It's just so demoralising - I mean what is the point of me even being there. She had a meeting with another person yesterday, and told them she was moving role, but they could still contact her whenever they want. I just replied to an email that came through to the generic inbox - but was too late - she got there first!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like just logging off and letting her get on with it. I mean, she can't keep doing this can she? The manager hates me, so she just stands back and says nothing, or just laughs it off, and says "ha ha, XXX is just very dedicated".

So fed up

BTW I am looking for another job, but have failed in 2 interviews - it's not easy to get another job - well for me anyway.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/06/2022 13:03

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 30/06/2022 11:28

Ha, ha - I was pleased to see this because I have exactly the same situation (or near enough) - I am a freelance temp sec and cover for regular clients and have done for many, many years. There is just one who goes on her nice holiday in the sun and seems to spend her whole time checking work emails and replying to some of them and if she isn't doing that, she is still reading them all (every single day). It is like having a stalker. I wonder what the other members of her family on the holiday think of her obsession. I think some people have control issues. I have to get quite blunt to get her to stop. Currently, I'm thinking of suggesting she runs the job from her holiday and I'll just go home and leave her to it.

Why do people do this? If you're on holiday, you're on holiday. The company won't self combust without you, you should be able to delegate effectively to someone able to cope and you should be encouraged to take a proper holiday, without logging onto emails at all. And if anyone contacts you, it's because the building has burned down/company gone bust!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/06/2022 13:05

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 30/06/2022 13:01

Looks like you are being managed out of your role. Id be putting everything on paper and looking for another job

This in spades. Good luck OP!

IVFPrayingForBioChild · 30/06/2022 13:11

Oestrogelsmuggler · 30/06/2022 12:40

What a loser. Can't even have a holiday.

Exactly - what a pathetic individial this woman is that can't let go of an ex job role - it doesn't even sound like a high powered job - must have a really sad life.

SpaceyCake · 30/06/2022 13:21

My ex boss used to do this! It used to drive me mad. I was so discouraged and disengaged at work and I hated it all. Every now and then people would ask me what I was working on and I had to make something vague up because in reality I was doing the best part of fuck all. My boss was on emails literally 24/7, sending all users at 5am and generally just being VISIBLE, even on annual leave. It was so annoying. We spoke about it loads and he promised to stop but he never did so I pissed around the internet and drank coffee for a few years. At least I still got paid. 😂

I did quit in the end and got another job (quit that one as well but that's another story), and I've recently heard that the ex boss has been sacked for misconduct. Oof.

Sorry I don't have much advice. I'd probably spend the time looking for a new job or doing life admin if you can get away with it.

youdontnome · 30/06/2022 13:22

I feel for you. I've had this with several colleagues, one because she was on a contract and was desperate to be made permanent so was constantly trying to be visible to management and taking on work that was not in her remit. Another because she was given a job title that made her think she was mine and my colleagues manager, she wasn't and we all knew that, including her, but unfortunately colleagues outside of our department didn't. Another who was just quite frankly weird, carried on as if she'd worked their years instead of the few weeks she had, constantly tried to undermine me, in particular, as she had decided that my job was not necessary as I was part time, as was she, but different days.
This was over a period of several years so not all at the same time. I'm sorry to say that there's no such thing as the sisterhood and I have found on multiple occasions that women will tread all over you to get where they want to be.

IVFPrayingForBioChild · 30/06/2022 13:26

youdontnome · 30/06/2022 13:22

I feel for you. I've had this with several colleagues, one because she was on a contract and was desperate to be made permanent so was constantly trying to be visible to management and taking on work that was not in her remit. Another because she was given a job title that made her think she was mine and my colleagues manager, she wasn't and we all knew that, including her, but unfortunately colleagues outside of our department didn't. Another who was just quite frankly weird, carried on as if she'd worked their years instead of the few weeks she had, constantly tried to undermine me, in particular, as she had decided that my job was not necessary as I was part time, as was she, but different days.
This was over a period of several years so not all at the same time. I'm sorry to say that there's no such thing as the sisterhood and I have found on multiple occasions that women will tread all over you to get where they want to be.

It's not just women, it's men too.
People can't bear other people to be more competent than them.
I think it's the culture of this society.

travailtotravel · 30/06/2022 13:27

I'd play them at their own game and either go nuclear on bullying, and or raise some concerns over their heads about effectiveness/concern about undue stress on her and or the elment about concern hiding something as not able to let go.

But then I don't have to work there. Sympathy, its soo hard to deal with shit like this.

youdontnome · 30/06/2022 13:30

IVFPrayingForBioChild · 30/06/2022 13:26

It's not just women, it's men too.
People can't bear other people to be more competent than them.
I think it's the culture of this society.

Show quote history

Yeah, I'm sure its men too. I only experienced it with women, but that was probably because of the environment I worked in.
It's all about one upmanship. I can't understand it, I have never felt that way about anybody and have always been encouraging and supportive to colleagues, it was a shock to me the first time it happened.

Dreamwhisper · 30/06/2022 13:41

This very much not okay of course, I would be more forceful with your manager. Tell her exactly what you've said here - that it's demoralising and you feel undermined and superfluous.

Also, keep pushing - she (the manager) may be able to give a laugh of response if you bring it up, but if you follow up again with the same question - i.e. yes, she may be dedicated, but.. and all your valid reasons for this being inappropriate, at some point she needs to respond.

As an interim solution - I would keep an hawk eye on your shared mailbox and physically drag everything straight into your personal one. That way she won't be able to respond!

Dreamwhisper · 30/06/2022 13:42

laugh off* response

riesenrad · 30/06/2022 13:45

Are you able to put a redirect on the shared mailbox so it comes straight into your inbox too? Then you might be able to get there before she does and make clear you are dealing.

You could also considering replying to every email she sends and say "I will take over this matter as [colleague] is on her holiday".

hopeishere · 30/06/2022 13:52

That sounds like a nightmare. Can you lock you computer so she can't get on it?

Is there HR or a more senior manager you can go to?

What sort of work is it?

Isthisreasonable · 30/06/2022 14:00

In our organisation that behaviour would have been raised with the fraud detection team as it is highly indicative of fraud.

If you have a fraud team it should be flagged up with them. If your line manager is turning a blind eye they will have questions to answer too.

Dreamwhisper · 30/06/2022 14:23

RockinHorseShit · 30/06/2022 09:24

Leave. Find another job. You have a control freak on your hands & very ineffective management, this is never going to go well

I don't know why these things always seem to come in pairs but I have experienced the exact same dynamic. As the OP says it's incredibly frustrating and demoralising.

Dreamwhisper · 30/06/2022 14:25

Omg and yes of course it's highly suspicious that someone is refusing to delegate/share their work from a fraud perspective! Didn't even think of that.

Bigtruth · 30/06/2022 14:32

It's sad to read when someone lacks confidence like this. But that's all it is. You're allowing yourself to be bullied when it's clear that when you started you were strong enough to stand up for yourself.

The moment you stopped being true to yourself will have been noted as a moment of immense weakness and unfortunately you work with people who will take advantage.

It's up to you how you proceed. Easiest is finding other work but personally I'd be raising it formally and in writing with management asking for an action plan to ensure it stops. Cover yourself and then put your feet up.

boomoohoo · 30/06/2022 15:11

I'm also curious as to your industry? This sounds so bizarre to me and I've never come across it in my line of work!

Lastonetotango · 30/06/2022 17:08

I had a very similar scenario with someone at work, to the point where it was a race to answer emails, enquiries etc. She would also log on whilst she was on holiday as well as first and last thing. When challenged she would say she was helping, and would carry on even when I told her not to.

My manager did nothing even when two of us complained. I ended up leaving. I know of 5 people who have left their jobs because of her. She got promoted.

Why do people behave like this? You have my sympathy OP.

yourestandingonmyneck · 30/06/2022 20:00

Lastonetotango · 30/06/2022 17:08

I had a very similar scenario with someone at work, to the point where it was a race to answer emails, enquiries etc. She would also log on whilst she was on holiday as well as first and last thing. When challenged she would say she was helping, and would carry on even when I told her not to.

My manager did nothing even when two of us complained. I ended up leaving. I know of 5 people who have left their jobs because of her. She got promoted.

Why do people behave like this? You have my sympathy OP.

I just cant get my head around this.

It's toddler behaviour. And carrying on when they've been explicitly told to stop Blush How are they not embarrassed by their behaviour?

That's awful that this woman was promoted.

I guess it's just because these people make themselves so visible.

Ninspeedles · 30/06/2022 23:36

Lastonetotango · 30/06/2022 17:08

I had a very similar scenario with someone at work, to the point where it was a race to answer emails, enquiries etc. She would also log on whilst she was on holiday as well as first and last thing. When challenged she would say she was helping, and would carry on even when I told her not to.

My manager did nothing even when two of us complained. I ended up leaving. I know of 5 people who have left their jobs because of her. She got promoted.

Why do people behave like this? You have my sympathy OP.

She got promoted, that's your answer

That's why people behave like that! Not right I agree but the business want the people who do all the work and extra and no fuss. It's a win win for them

Ninspeedles · 30/06/2022 23:38

It also sounds like they might be trying to make you redundant by demonstrating you don't have enough to do. sorry OP

vandertable · 01/07/2022 00:21

SpookyButTrue · 30/06/2022 10:27

You need to put all of this in writing to your manager and then raise a grievance meeting with your union rep if nothing happens.

Absolutely this. It read as a possible misunderstanding until your post saying that your manager views you as a troublemaker. Put in writing (neutrally at this point) that you are trying to do your job but your ex-colleague won't let go of her role and is taking work from you making it hard for you to establish yourself in the role. Then forward it to your union rep for reference.

It may still just be innocent if she's only left very recently, she might think she's helping with the transition...it can't go on like that though. And you'll need it all recorded if it turns out to be sinister and they're trying to force you out.

CelestiaNoctis · 01/07/2022 00:26

I'd enjoy the free time and being paid to do nothing. If you're bored though then find somewhere else and she really can do all the work then.

MRex · 01/07/2022 06:56

I'd report it to the fraud team. I'd also ask HR for advice so that it's logged.

I find this "nothing to do" angle so weird, I've only ever worked places where there is too much work. Occasionally some lazy or incompetent people mean there isn't excessive work but a backlog forms anyway, but generally there's just always a lot to do. I can't really visualise the environment.

YorkshireTeaCup · 01/07/2022 07:04

Another vote for saying this has fraud red flags all over it. @cofingalthetime are you a civil servant? Some of the points in your posts made me think you are. If so, you should have a counter fraud policy and a counter fraud champion which sets out how to report fraud. If you dont want to speak to your manager (as it sounds like they wouldnt do anything anyway!), there should be an alternative route to report eg through HR or counter fraud or compliance team.