To love a bidet?

[SunscreenCentral]

one day, I will live in a house that suits me and it will include a bidet in my bathroom.

Hopping into bed with a lovely fresh undercarriage and clean feet also if you want a sluice is bliss.

I love bidets but am I alone? Not fashionable these days are they?

Loads of questions…
are guests welcome to use the bum gun or would that be bad form?

doesn’t it spray bacteria everywhere? You know kind of how they now say you shouldn’t wash chicken before cooking it?

isn't it just super weird to have something in your bathroom that’s so dedicated to the butt crack area?

I've had a sherry so I'll answer.
You don't press the trigger all the way in for washing yourself. It's like a tap you vary the pressure.
You give bum hole a good rinse to remove residue then wash it with soap like you do in the shower or a wipe with loo roll. You run the water down your crack so it doesn't go everywhere, lean forward or back depending which side your doing.
If you can reach around to wipe you can reach to spray so unless your mobility is restricted your fine.
You only use it full pelt for jetting the skidders of the back of the lav or cleaning under the rim.

In Brazil, everybody has a bum gun, so if you go on holiday all the hotels will have them too but they're seen as a ve-ge-ge gun there and I think Brazilian women have an expression for using them which I can't remember well but it's to do with showering down there (maybe sb can help on the term).
The first time I ever saw one was in a hotel in Brazil -it was fascinating as I'd never seen one- and very helpful to remove sand on feet, years laters I got one in a rental over there and it just was as exciting as the swimming pool I never used, i.e. never used it.
Still, I can't see the usefulness now, I mostly see a water toy hose and I'm blinded by the imaginary water on the floor, which I have no doubt, would be down to me to clean (as per usual).

I'm sorry but I just don't understand how you use them with out getting undressed or your clothes wet. If you have to get undressed then you may as well get in the shower & have a fresh top half as well as a fresh undercarriage, no?!

Also. If you have a strangers in your house who may use your bathroom not your downstairs loo do you need a special stack of towels and a special laundry basket?

My best mate got a bidet c1980 and I thought there was something faintly disturbing but somewhat avant-garde about it. It was a thing of mystery then and it still is.

Basically I still don't really know how they are meant to be used. Why does a loo have a seat & a bidet does not? Why are they so low to the ground? So many unanswered questions.

For poo you are leant forward, reaching behind spraying down your natural crease so any splashes or poo articles go down the pan. It doesn't direct it forward for cross contamination and your sat down still so nothing can get out the sides.
For the front see the dishy seventies Fin hunk!

Nowadays you buy the towels separately, but back in the day, you'd buy a pack (in my country anyway) and it came with usually 3 (or double of each) towels, 1 for shower, 1 for hands and 1 bidet (about a third of a hands towel in size). At my mum's she had loads of bidet towels, particularly because those weren't used as much, so I used them for my dolls. They're not very common now but you can still get them from more traditional shops and El Corte Ingles. I don't think you can get them from shops like Primark, Zara or HM though.

I see bidets as sth for one to wash down there before going to bed if they're not showering. Never ever have I met anyone who washes every single time they go to the loo! There would one or two towel on the rail above the bidet for one to wipe after washing in the evening/morning but not one for each time you go to the loo.

Regarding visitors my SiL ended up getting one herself, another pal loves it because she's got bad endo but my ex MiL thought it was some pervy sex utensil and deemed it unsightly.
I don't really ask anyone else if they've washed their arse.

I wipe first and then wash on my Japanese toilet. I love it. It also blow dries, the jets are directional for front or back washing and it has a handy night light. The remote control caused much hilarity when it was first installed and the dc realised it would operate from a different room, shocking unsuspecting users…😆

@kimfox sounds a like a bloody great faff to me !! Whatever next

As if the queues for women's loos aren't long enough....
Imagine...

I'd not thought about it until a MNer once said that her non British husband had pointed out that if you somehow got your own shit on your arm, or your frock, you'd not get a piece of toilet paper to it and think that was enough.
I've got one, don't always use it, but I feel so much better when I do.
In countries where they use them in private bathrooms they still don't tend to have them in public loos so I don't think the queues are affected!

With the Japanese loo seat I use it after every poo on the rear wash setting and I only use the ladies wash setting occasionally.

I wipe first and then dab dry with loo roll. Sometimes I use the blow dryer setting too but it's not very strong.

The jets are really directional so you don't get loads of water everywhere, maybe a little splash on the seat.

Plumber said he's fitted loads for people with disabilities meaning they can't wipe/clean easily but we were the first non-disabled household he'd fitted one in.

I have a bidet bottle. Very cheap and surprisingly effective!

I’m here now and we do indeed have a bidet but it’s not what I was expecting!

Any tips for successful use?!