Wedding this September.. but desperate for a baby..

[brondysan]

Hello,
I'm just looking for opinions / advice / anything really...! Sorry it's long.

My partner and I have been trying to conceive since the end of 2019, with no luck. We have had 2 chemical pregnancies in this time, but sadly no happier news.

We were both very severely overweight, and so when we noticed that conceiving wasn't coming easily for us, we decided to put all of our focus into our weight and loosing weight to become healthier (both for ourselves and to aid our chances in conceiving!) as advised by the GP also.

We both had tests at the GP for fertility issues and we both came back absolutely fine, no problems whatsoever.

Early this year, we both decided to opt for gastric surgery to loose the weight. DP is currently 8 stone down, and I'm 5.5 stone down! We are so much happier and healthier, and mentally in a much better place too.

We are getting married this September. But I've found recently that I've been daydreaming about pregnancy again. I never got the happy ending I so longed for all those months we were TTC. I kept telling myself I was okay, keeping positive.. but I'm longing for a baby.

We are going longhair for our honeymoon straight after our wedding, which is a complete once in a lifetime holiday.. so we obviously want to enjoy this. But I just can't shift this desperate feeling to TTC again 🤦🏼‍♀️

Please someone talk me round. Is this the worst idea ever?! I'm just longing to begin our family.

Just wait, its only a few months. You really don't want to be feeling sick and tired on your "once in a lifetime" holiday.

Depending on your surgery, there are minimum times for TTC, it's all about internal scars etc

Please wait. I had terrible morning sickness with both of mine, you wouldn't enjoy the run up to the wedding or honeymoon.

To have had the surgery sounds like weight is most likely to have been the issue, and at your age there are no time constraints on fertility.

I'd wait until the 3 months after the honeymoon if I was in your position .

This! OP don't get pregnant so soon after surgery, honestly it's not worth it. Just wait it out a year at least.

If you had a sleeve or bypass they recommend 18 months minimum.

I get it and was in the same boat for what felt like years whilst waiting for my surgery to settle (bypass) but follow the Dr reccomendations and enjoy your wedding!

Agree with waiting, we had to cancel a trip when Zika first came about and I discovered I was pregnant, it was annoying but looking back I'm so glad we didn't take the risk. It will happen, it sometimes just takes a little time, you are both young so enjoy the wedding and honeymoon then start focusing on a baby.

Ask yourself what is more important: a honeymoon or a baby

I would suggest start trying now. Especially since youve hadn't had any luck before. September is so close already so you wouldnt even be showing if you were to fall pregnant straight away

And bali is beautiful but there are the greek islands or mainland spain or whatever and wherever that have no zika. So just adjust Accordingly

But seriously. Ask yourself. What do you want more. A baby or a honeymoon

You should wait till a year after surgery. It would be much more heartbreaking to do a late abortion because the feotus is so unwell. Or have a child with difficulties that could have been prevented if you'd have waited and were in a better place nutritionally. Imagine the life long guilt or what ifs. Wait the year after surgery out, then go for it. Do this for your future child.

@Marvellousmadness Op doesn't need to choose, she has plenty of time to have both. She also just had pretty significant surgery and has been advised to wait before getting pregnant, it is best that she follows this advise to have a safe pregnancy and a healthy baby.

Speaking as someone with fertility issues who took three years to have her first, no way would I TTC in your shoes. What if you have a miscarriage? First trimester is not always smooth sailing.!i think it's asking for trouble, don't do it to yourself.