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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Detention/request off school

80 replies

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 13:31

DC has been given detention for incomplete homework. Was large A3 sheet with 15 question and answer boxes. Left 1 empty. Homework was set last Friday, due in Monday and after school Friday, he had 1 hour after school before leaving to go on cub camp till Sunday.

Anyway, he did the detention (30 mins) Monday and has another detention tonight (30 mins) as he didn't finish the last box as they wouldn't allow it in class or detention. I agree, he could have found time.

Today I've received a phone call from his head of year, requesting that for his best interests, that he is withdrawn from all of his outside school activities as they are hindering his school work and as he is going into year 10, incomplete homework is unacceptable.

I've refused and the school have said they will allow me time to reconsider and withdraw before they take it further as matter of concern. Not sure how they will take it further?

For reference, this is his 3rd detention in 3 years for incomplete homework, including 1 where homework wasnt handed in as he was off school with covid.

OP posts:
AndSoFinally · 29/06/2022 13:35

Missing the point but why is he still in cubs in year 9?

I wouldn't withdraw him in these circumstances, but would keep an eye on his time commitments during year 10/11

Minfilia · 29/06/2022 13:37

Batshit.

He is entitled to have hobbies. All that because he missed one question on his homework after being away for the entire weekend?

Just wow.

ilovesooty · 29/06/2022 13:40

They're being ridiculous. Very heavy handed.

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 13:41

Sorry, he is a young leader for Cubs and this was their end of year camp. He is an Explorer himself and has been on more camps than I can remember but this is the only one where he didnt complete the homework.

First one was he didnt realise the questions were on the other side of the worksheet as he had glued it into his book (within the first two weeks of year 7) and the second as I said, was he completed the worksheet and was off with covid when the sheet was due to be handed in. School said he should have been proactive in getting the sheet to school as he wouldn't be able to avoid handing in reports late at work.

The school itself doesn't have any after school clubs other than homework clubs and they are looking to make this so all pupils have to attend 2 per week and they seem to be against extra curricular activities until sixth form.

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10HailMarys · 29/06/2022 13:41

The school is being absurd. Regardless of homework issues (and frankly, if your son has only ever failed three times in three years to finish his homework and one of those times was from illness and another was missing out a single question from a sheet of 15, he really does not have any significant issue with homework at all) it's none of their business what he does when he's not all school. His head of year is an idiot.

newbiename · 29/06/2022 13:42

I'd just ignore them.

JudgeRindersMinder · 29/06/2022 13:43

Tell school to ram it! You sound like you have your priorities correct

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 13:44

ilovesooty · 29/06/2022 13:40

They're being ridiculous. Very heavy handed.

I thought it was a joke at first and it was implied that I needed to calm down and think about it.

Clueless as to what the further action will be, when I asked, he said he hopes it wont go that far.

One of his peers is doing brilliantly well at football and has been scouted but doesn't talk about it in school as an achievement as they don't want to encourage anything that distracts from schoolwork

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10HailMarys · 29/06/2022 13:45

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 13:41

Sorry, he is a young leader for Cubs and this was their end of year camp. He is an Explorer himself and has been on more camps than I can remember but this is the only one where he didnt complete the homework.

First one was he didnt realise the questions were on the other side of the worksheet as he had glued it into his book (within the first two weeks of year 7) and the second as I said, was he completed the worksheet and was off with covid when the sheet was due to be handed in. School said he should have been proactive in getting the sheet to school as he wouldn't be able to avoid handing in reports late at work.

The school itself doesn't have any after school clubs other than homework clubs and they are looking to make this so all pupils have to attend 2 per week and they seem to be against extra curricular activities until sixth form.

What a horrible school!

I assume this is about their league tables. All they care about is exams and they have no interest in kids actually acquiring the real-life skills or interests that make them into well-rounded, functional, employable adults. Absolutely terrible.

Colinthesnail · 29/06/2022 13:46

Sounds like a bloody awful school to me.

But regardless, they don’t have any jurisdiction over his weekend activities, so I’d tell them to stop being ridiculous. “Take it further as a matter of concern” - to who?!

JustLyra · 29/06/2022 13:47

including 1 where homework wasnt handed in as he was off school with covid.

Not a chance any of mine would have been doing detention for that. That’s bloody ridiculous

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 13:48

10HailMarys · 29/06/2022 13:45

What a horrible school!

I assume this is about their league tables. All they care about is exams and they have no interest in kids actually acquiring the real-life skills or interests that make them into well-rounded, functional, employable adults. Absolutely terrible.

Are league tables still a thing?

It's generally a good school but I've never had experience of this before, usually schools want you to partake in extra curricular. It's a normal school, as in not private or grammar or anything.

He's generally doing well and in top sets which is why I thought it was some sort of weird joke

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Cap89 · 29/06/2022 13:51

This is utterly absurd. There’s nothing they can do about clubs outside school anyway. Former secondary teacher here (head of year, senior leader) and we would have been so proud of a student who did these kinds of things outside school and still kept on top of his work. We’d be holding him up as an example not trying to crush him!! It would be different if he never did his homework, but for such a rare thing I think they are bonkers. Ignore.

commonsense61 · 29/06/2022 13:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 29/06/2022 13:58

Most schools encourage that sort of volunteering through DofE type schemes. The school sounds bonkers. I would totally ignore them. Children need a balance in their lives, especially after covid. Hopefully you don't have any younger children going through the school and you can find a saner sixth form experience. He has done a detention, probably won't miss homework again soon.

HellonHeels · 29/06/2022 13:58

Fucking hell they sound a right bunch of twats. I'd ignore. If they "try to take it further" (no idea what this might mean - what the hell could they do, try to exclude him for being a Cubs leader?!) you can write to the Chair of governors to complain.

DrunkSquirrels · 29/06/2022 14:00

I think I’d be looking to take this further with the governors to be honest. If he really has only had three missed bits of homework in three years, is doing well at school and also being a cub leader then it is definitely the school that has got it wrong.

I would ask what the school policy is in terms of encouraging a healthy approach to work, leisure, social responsibility and personal well-being.

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 14:03

I think its madness and it's nice to read it's not normal. When I was at school, people hid the fact they smoked, not that they did clubs outside of school!

He's gone through Beavers, Cubs, Scouts and now an Explorer and a Young Leader and I don't think he would ever give it up hes currently fundraising as he was lucky enough to get a place at the world Jamboree in South Korea. School not interested at all.

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AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 14:05

DrunkSquirrels · 29/06/2022 14:00

I think I’d be looking to take this further with the governors to be honest. If he really has only had three missed bits of homework in three years, is doing well at school and also being a cub leader then it is definitely the school that has got it wrong.

I would ask what the school policy is in terms of encouraging a healthy approach to work, leisure, social responsibility and personal well-being.

He definitely has only missed 3.

I'm not that parent who thinks their child is perfect and does nothing wrong I'm eyes wide open when it comes to him and he knows missing homework will result in detention and thats on him. It's the whole pull him out that took me by surprise

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Squaffle · 29/06/2022 14:05

Might be bad comms from Head of Year rather than a school-wide thing? I've worked in schools for years and generally speaking detentions override any after school commitments, but any school would be crazy to actively discourage outside interests! I have very low opinion of Ofsted (obvs) but extra-curricular offerings are one of their inspection criteria so the school would be massively shooting itself in the foot to say this.

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 14:07

Squaffle · 29/06/2022 14:05

Might be bad comms from Head of Year rather than a school-wide thing? I've worked in schools for years and generally speaking detentions override any after school commitments, but any school would be crazy to actively discourage outside interests! I have very low opinion of Ofsted (obvs) but extra-curricular offerings are one of their inspection criteria so the school would be massively shooting itself in the foot to say this.

I agree, detention overrides club attendance. His attendance for things he does outside of school usually start at 630pm and school finishes at 3.

The HOY said he will call me again on Friday after my time to think but I think I will respond via email so at least there is a paper trail started.

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Thingsdogetbetter · 29/06/2022 14:09

If he's planning to go to university then young leader at cubs and explorer will be ab
advantage on his personal spec.

I'd be checking is schools have the power to make extracurricular homework clubs compulsory.

I'd also email the head of year to 'confirm' he was requesting that you withdraw your child from all activities outside of school hours, and ask what exactly these 'further' actions would be.

Is there a new head by any chance trying to make an impression with mad policies?

Colinthesnail · 29/06/2022 14:10

AbreathofFrenchair · 29/06/2022 14:05

He definitely has only missed 3.

I'm not that parent who thinks their child is perfect and does nothing wrong I'm eyes wide open when it comes to him and he knows missing homework will result in detention and thats on him. It's the whole pull him out that took me by surprise

It’s actually such an absurd overreaction by school that I’d almost query if they have the correct child - they’ve not got him confused with another “Tom” or “Oliver” who has a much bigger homework problem have they?!

Mariposista · 29/06/2022 14:13

This is ridiculous. If he is generally a good student, hitting his targets, enjoying school and has a good attitude, then this is way OTT. EC activities are vital for development, leadership skills, socialising and having some downtime.
With hindsight, could your son have explained to the teacher that he had a whole weekend commitment starting Friday night and that he would struggle to get the work finished at the quality they need, and could he please have an extension as a one-off. That shows him taking responsibility for his work rather than just not doing it. Being a Young Leader is great for him, will teach him all sorts of skills.

XelaM · 29/06/2022 14:14

Wow, my daughter would never get out of detention at your son's school 😬