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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to make the will fair

116 replies

Xanthe68 · 29/06/2022 00:14

A friend has asked for my advice-

A woman marries, she and her husband have two children, they work hard and are lucky and end up with a flat in London (approx £1.5m), a house in the country (similar) and investments of about £2m.

After a long happy marriage the husband dies. The woman inherits his share. 10 years later the woman begins a relationship with another woman- they live together and and they are very happy together for 5 years (and ongoing).

The woman wants to write her will. What should she do? All her wealth comes from the period of her marriage (both partners contributed) and was thought of as the children’s inheritance. But she’s worried about her new partner who doesn’t have much (not lazy- has worked hard all her life in a low paying profession).

WWYD? FWIW the children are very happy about their mum’s new relationship and it’s probable that the late husband would have been as well (based on how he was in life). Would you leave everything to the kids or something to the new partner? (Unmarried).

OP posts:
PurpleMarie · 29/06/2022 00:21

50% (friends share) to wife, 50% (husband's share) split between the kids.

thirstyformore · 29/06/2022 00:23

@PurpleMarie so the kids get nothing from their mum?

I would give something like 90% to the kids. 10% to the new partner.

NoSquirrels · 29/06/2022 00:25

Possibly split everything 3 ways. Or leave majority to DC (a property each?) but make sure DP is permanently and securely housed and has money to live off.

Confusedmeanderings · 29/06/2022 00:26

I would specify in my will that the new partner should be able to live in one or both of the properties during her lifetime and then they go to the children. I think I would probably leave an amount of the investments as well, perhaps 1/3 of 1 million, so in effect one third of my share.

Misstes · 29/06/2022 00:27

Husband share all to kids. Her share split 3 ways.

Aconitum · 29/06/2022 00:27

I would suggest leaving the partner a life interest in one of the properties along with a relatively small capital gift (£200k) so she is financially "comfortable". The rest goes to the children immediately and then they inherit the rest when the partner dies.
She would need to see a solicitor specialising in Trusts (a STEP practitioner) and tell the children beforehand so they don't end up on the front page of the Daily Mail.

catcurl · 29/06/2022 00:29

I think half of it should go straight to the children. It was the half of their late father after all.

The other half I think can be more flexible e.g. if it means the partner can stay in a house for a certain period of time (or the rest of her life) and then pass financially to the children.

HeddaGarbled · 29/06/2022 00:31

Three and a half million? No one’s going to be deprived whatever the split!

One million each to children and partner, half mill to charity. Or any other division. Anyone who complains gets disinherited for being a prat.

ItsaPeppaPink · 29/06/2022 00:31

Probably going against the grain here but 100% to the children. Partner was able to support herself for years previously so shouldn't expect to be supported after her partners death from her estate unless they were married. Just my opinion of course but my children will always come first with me.

TamSamLam · 29/06/2022 00:32

Three pots, house1, house2, cash ( all approximately equal value). Kids get first pick of which pot they want, wife gets what's left. Decide pre will writing. Remaining cash is split to help cover inheritance tax etc.

Goodbyecustardtart · 29/06/2022 00:33

@PurpleMarie so the new partner gets 2 or 3 times as much (depending on how many children) as each child? How unfair. A small property in trust to the children with the new partner able to live there for her lifetime and a small inheritance to her. The majority of the inheritance to the children.

fallfallfall · 29/06/2022 00:33

Most to the children, token amount (relatively speaking, agree £200K range) to the new partner. Real estate wise, look into buying something small for her. Keeping the kids home for them.

NoSquirrels · 29/06/2022 00:35

The guiding principle should definitely be 50% (i.e. late father’s share) to the 2 DC, then the remaining 50% (woman’s share) left to her 2 DC and her new DP in whatever proportion feels right.

Pennypitzstop · 29/06/2022 00:35

I would not leave anything to the partner.
I00% to children.
But I think the occupancy of one of the properties until death is reasonable.

Doggydarling · 29/06/2022 00:36

I'd suggest she discussed the future with her partner, no point in leaving the partner the right to live in one of the homes if she'd prefer to be elsewhere, I think the majority should go to the children of the marriage, maybe consider purchasing a smaller (holiday) home and leave that to the partner, that way it has no links to the previous marriage or children. It can be either lived in or sold by the person who inherits it.

FrustareNT · 29/06/2022 00:36

My sister has an extremely wealthy partner who she has been with for 15 years …she doesn’t expect a penny from him .All his money will go to his daughter .

WGACA · 29/06/2022 00:41

Misstes · 29/06/2022 00:27

Husband share all to kids. Her share split 3 ways.

This seems very fair to me.

HarvestFly · 29/06/2022 00:43

Most of the estate to the children with a token amount to the new partner.
On the basis the mother and partner are obviously not young and the partner has supported herself up until they met. If the plan for 40 years had been to leave it all to the children why would she change that now?

shropshire11 · 29/06/2022 00:47

All the husband’s “half” to the kids, equally split. Half the wife’s “half” to her partner, the other half equally split between the kids.

BreadInCaptivity · 29/06/2022 00:48

HeddaGarbled · 29/06/2022 00:31

Three and a half million? No one’s going to be deprived whatever the split!

One million each to children and partner, half mill to charity. Or any other division. Anyone who complains gets disinherited for being a prat.

It's actually circa £5m with the investments.

Given the wealth was the product of a joint relationship I think the majority should go to the children of that marriage.

That said, your friend can protect her new partner by stating in her will that she can live in (but not own) one of the houses until her death, upon which it can be sold to the benefit of her children.

I'd also consider how much money the partner would need to maintain the property and provide a fund to do so (along with an obligation to keep the property in good repair - there's no point in letting someone live in a house they can't afford to maintain and thus devaluing it).

Finally I'd make a no strings attached cash gift to the partner of £250k in respect of their relationship.

Upshot is she should respect the origins of the money whilst ensuring her new partner would not be homeless or struggling.

In this will, the partner would also have the choice having received £250k and walking away from living in/maintaining any property your friend "gifted to live in" at any point if their circumstances changed.

She may also wish to consider a clause as to what would happen if her partner met someone else. Would she still be comfortable with a "gift to live in" under those circumstances?

If no, then that needs to be clear that a "new" relationship can't be maintained in that property (but can be tricky to prove in reality) or offer a further sum of say £100k to move out and rescind her rights to live their until her death.

BEAM123 · 29/06/2022 00:56

Late husband's share straight to the kids.

Your friends share mainly to kids with a cash gift to her gf and a lifetime interest in a property so she has somewhere secure to live, and then after her death it securely passes back to the kids.

This is because if a property is left directly to new gf (rather than as a lifetime interest) she could then leave it to someone else and it passes out of the family.

Also make any adjustments that may be necessary. For instance if gf has given up any work to support your friend's business then her pension would have suffered etc so she should be compensated accordingly

Alwayspaintyournails · 29/06/2022 00:58

If 5 million I would split it as;
kids £1.875 each (1/2 dads plus 1/4 mums)
partner £1.25 (1/2 of her share)

SkeletonFight · 29/06/2022 01:04

There is no way I would be giving a huge % to the new partner. 5 years ? Most of the money should go to the children. I think the best thing would be a sum of money for partner to buy a small place to live in. Life time interests are a PITA.

TamSamLam · 29/06/2022 01:07

I don't actually think it's fair to leave the house to the kids with the wife having a right to live there.

Give them a legally straightforward will, an ability to move on with their lives once you're gone. Given there's enough money to go around I wouldn't be making them wait around for potentially decades because you put a house in trust so the wife could live there. Either give a house or don't, don't make it complicated.

toooldtocarewhoknows · 29/06/2022 01:09

I would take into account the assets the husband and wife had when he died.

The value of these assets today.

Leave the husbands 50% of the value of these assets to the children as his inheritance to them.

Divide the remaining (mothers portion) between the three of them.

She will get approx 16.5% of the original assets and all of the assets they acquired as a couple after they got together.

£825K plus recently acquired assets is a decent amount. Minus inheritance tax if they are not married. So approx £610K

If this would provide a home for her to live in then I'd end it there.

If there isn't enough to provide a home for her you might want to look into a life interest on one of the properties so she has a home. The portion that is willed to the children is given once she has died.

Alternatively look into purchasing another home for around £800k and give this to her in its entirety. Then leave all other legacy assets to the children.