Would you complain about this? (Nursery related)

[Wouldloveanother]

Evening
when I picked DD up from nursery today they said she had ‘a bit of a sore bottom’ from doing a poo and not telling them, so it had been there a while.
got her home, stripped her off for her bath and my god! Her bum was raw, with a very red sore patch on her thigh. Not only this, she still had a large amount of poo in her bum crack and a smear up her back. She clearly hadn’t been changed properly, or she was upset and they had just given up. Not only this but she came home the other week with poo inside her leggings (not a small smear but a large stain). The nappy was clean so they’d obviously changed it and put her back in the soiled leggings. I’m very averse to complaining in general or starting ‘grudges’, would you say I should complain? TIA

If she's still in nappies then definitely flag this with them, someone is doing a poor job!

The sore bum from not telling them no I wouldn't complain. The poo still there yes I would!! As soon as they realised she should have been cleaned properly!

How old is she? That sounds horrible for her, I think I'd have to say something

This isn’t acceptable- property cleaning her is part of the basic care she needs. I can (sort of) understand them not realising as a one off (but wouldn’t they smell it...?) or not cleaning properly once as a mistake. But for it to happen twice....?
If she was too sore for staff to manage to clean her up then they should have phoned you, not let her sit in this mess that’s just going to make it even more painful.

It doesn’t matter if she’s 6 months or 60 years old, if she needs toiletting help / nappies it should be provided or the setting isn’t meeting her basic care needs.

Thanks for your thoughts. She’s 2.

I had something similar with DD being put back in stained leggings (not quite as bad as your story). I mentioned it to staff the next day and just nicely let them know that she had a change of clothes in her rucksack for when that happens. No problem since. Tbh it was odd as it's a very good nursery.

2 just 2, or 2 nearer 3?

There's a big difference in terms of communicating that you have gone etc.

Either way though they should be cleaning her properly. Although raw skin can get sore very, very quickly.

Are they trying to nudge you/her towards toilet training?

I would complain. She’s been hurt by their actions. To be honest as it’s the second time they’d have to be fairly apologetic for me to leave her there again.

I would be really angry to be honest. She is 2. She isnt always going to tell them if she is still in nappies. Some kids in pants dont. I can understand some delay given the number of kids but they have key workers for a reason and cant be being watched closely for this to happen as poo smells. I'd understand more if she was properly cleaned up but that shes still dirty isnt ok. I would complain but in a polite and calm way, reminding them as to where to find spare clothes and perhaps also of her abilities in terms of likelihood of reporting poos

It doesn’t matter if she’s 6 months or 60 years old, if she needs toiletting help / nappies it should be provided or the setting isn’t meeting her basic care needs.

Sometimes it's not about "needing help". My DD is 2 and is having a hyper independent phase, she has form for taking herself to the lou, having a go at wiping etc, not telling a soul.

If OP's DD is in pull ups she could have done that, it would explain the not being cleaned well & staff not spotting it. If she's approaching 3 it wouldnt be unusual for a little girl to be wanting to do it for themselves.

My little one is 2 nearly 3 and we are in early stages of training so she is still in nappies at nursery. I would not appreciate it if this were a nudging to toilet train. You dont teach kids by leaving them in poo causing them this level of soreness and discomfort. That is unacceptable and in any case is something they should discuss with the parent if that is their intention, not unilaterally decide to do.

She’s nearly 3. We are toilet training her and she does nearly all her wees on the potty but for some reason it hasn’t clicked with poo yet. She never tells us when she does a poo, in fact she denies it, because she doesn’t like having her nappy changed. They’ve been making comments about toilet training but we’re doing our best.

She’s take herself over to the potty and pull down her pull ups to wee and back up again. But she’s very secretive about the poo, just goes in the nappy and doesn’t tell anyone until you smell it.

That's very common and nursery should be well aware of it!

I'd complain, poor little love.

@InChocolateWeTrust thats a good point - I hadn’t considered that.
So maybe a discussion with nursery rather than an all-guns-blazing complaint!

Nobody humane “nudges” a family towards toilet training by neglecting to change poo nappies. It’s cruel.

It's not their remit to nudge towards toilet training, ignoring a child in a poo filled name is not "nudging" it's neglectful.

Yes, definitely complain! I actually removed my son from nursery when a similar incident occurred. Even if your DD said she hadn't done a poo, surely the staff would have smelled it? This really isn't acceptable at all.

Perhaps proper underwear rather than pull up might make it quicker for staff to tell she is soiled? No harm in having a chat.

Mine took it to the next extreme. She managed to hang on to all poo until she was put into her nappy at bedtime - and maintained that for a couple of years. Nursery thought she was fully toilet-trained - little did they know!

A discussion which says, do not "nudge" my child towards toilet training, by hurting them. It's cruel and neglectful!

End of conversation!

its not the sore bottom I mind as I know she can be secretive and occasionally they will miss it, if they’re outside it won’t smell as much etc
it’s more that they did such a slapdash job of changing her, left a large amount of poo in her bum crack (took 4 wet wipes to get it off) that made the soreness much worse. Im sure she was kicking off when they changed her which is why they gave up and just put a fresh nappy on. Coupled with the soiled leggings (and the fact she comes home filthy - as in, I don’t think they put bibs on them at meal times) it just feels like hygiene and cleanliness isn’t a priority (as much as it can be with toddlers anyway)

They’ve been making noises about potty training ever since she turned 2

Op, I'm a nursery nurse. Please, please raise it. If she's upset, they don't just give up. They soothe, calm, persevere. Your poor girl. Did they put any cream on her?

She's so little, there's time for potty training. If she's weeing on the potty that's amazing! The pooing will come. You don't have to potty train until YOU'RE ready. I hope your DD is okay. Please raise it, otherwise it'll happen again and care will slip again.

If they just gave up without cleaning her, they really need to be spoken to