Very overweight. what would you do?

[Labdo]

Hello.

im currently with slimming world, have been going for 4 weeks and have lost 7.5 pounds so far which I’m really pleased with.

However, I do have an eating disorder and I do feel that weighing every week might be not the best thing for me mentally. I now know the diet well enough to continue doing this alone (without counting syns, but just making healthier choices).

I would also like to implement a sustainable exercise program. The idea would be to not focus on the weight loss, but by how I feel, my body feeling healthier and my clothes getting smaller. My only obstacle is myself, I know I’m very lazy and I also have 2 children so by the time they are in bed I’m very tired.

I’m currently 17 stone and a size 18 and I would like to get back into a size 10. I am built like a fridge so I’ve never been slender but a size 10-12 had always looked nice on me.

My main goal I think now needs to be to work on the self hatred and self loathing, not in the number in the scale. I think if I feel happy and confident in myself then I will naturally just make better choices and I won’t binge and purge on junk food.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thankyou

Personally I think the immediate and goal needs to be weight loss. I would go so far as to say it is fairly critical.

when you have lost a couple of stone - I reckon that a) your mental health will have naturally improved without you even trying and b) you will find fundamentals be less at risk to very serious health implications

I can see where you are coming from, but the support from the group might help. You are still very early on in your journey.

Would you be able to consider a personal trainer? I imagine it's more expensive than SW but might keep you on track?

I’ve done various programs/ ww/ sw over the years, the one I’ve found best and most sustainable is the six pack revolution - good luck!

I’d continue going and think about having a few sessions of counselling.

Low carb plus exercise. You’ll start to feel healthier, sleep better, have more energy, enjoy life more. I would recommend the Blood Sugar Diet and the Fast 800, but it’s pretty easy to just make it a new way of eating without needing to count calories or weigh regularly. You just notice when your clothes get too big.

Unless you can deal with the ED through therapy you’re always going to have this barrier.

Eating less and moving more is the simple key. Eat real foods, cook from scratch. Eliminate processed foods and sugars as much as possible. Don’t snack.

Try and do one nice thing for yourself each day. Like a facial or a body scrub. Start small. A short walk or buy some cheap weights off Argos and keep them handy. If you feel yourself about to reach for unhealthy foods pick up the weights and do a few reps. Don't buy rubbish foods that way you can't eat them. Don't compare yourself to others who are thinner either. I'm slimish but really insecure and unfit. To look at me you wouldn't think so. I feel embarassed to go the gym as I know I'd struggle to do 5 minutes on the cross trainer so I'm starting small myself, going for walks and taking better care of myself.

Can you ask not to be told the actual weight? Otherwise yes as long as you’re still following the plan you don’t have to weigh, you’ll know you’re losing by the clothes

Agree with pps. Stick with what's working for now. For a few months at least.

Really build on those habits and then focus on the 'healthy long term lifestyle' stuff.

I found Noom really good for changing to a healthy lifestyle. The weight loss has been an added bonus really.

The whole thing is aimed at exploring psychological triggers and long term health

I listened to the podcast which has helped me enormously with binge eating, it made so much sense and described me perfectly. I wasnt hugely overweight but had a cycle of self hatred that perpetuated itself for over 20 years. I hated my relationship with food and in turn my body.

Brain over binge

I do not weigh myself anymore as I find it becomes an obsession with the scales. I have increased my running to 4-5 times per week consistently (have run for the past 16 years or so but half arsed). I sometimes mix it up with a Body Coach 15 minute HIIT session at home via YouTube. My relationship with food is so much better, not perfect but much better and I have definitely lost weight and feel the self hatred easing - it is very freeing.

I agree with all of this. I also think if you could manage your weight and eating habits alone, you never would have gotten up to 17 stone. I think a program with support and structure is what you need.

Losing weight will help your mental health considerably.

If you are very overweight, then it is going to take a long time to see and feel actual progress. Will you be able to keep up the discipline for five or six months even if you aren't seeing any results? That was my experience of big weight loss, at least. It will be really helpful for you to get to a point where you can use a scale so that can see actual progress, even if that isn't reflected in your dress size in the short term. Maybe that will mean some therapy.

I was thinking about maybe going to boots instead once a month I stead of paying £6 a week at slimming world. I have free use of a gym, just no confidence to go. I’d like to lose a stone or two myself first at home I think before I could face going to the gym. Low carb is very much not good for me or a very low calorie diet. I like the slimming world plan and I will stick to it I just think the weekly weighing isn’t helpful for me.

How would you feel about increasing exercise? Is there a type of exercise you enjoy? It doesn’t have to be endless cardio, mixing it up with strength training makes it exciting.

Personally I would ditch SW and focus on health instead of a number on a scale if that would work better.

Losing weight is done through diet, but you need to be in a good place mentally for that to work. Getting a gym membership and a PT will give you something to focus on. Some weeks I know my diet hasn’t been great, but knowing I’m still progressing health wise with exercise means I don’t beat myself up about it.

Ditch slimming world, ditch the scales, take measurement of your waist and arms etc and take photos periodically. Start by just walking more try and get more steps in each week.

You don't have to eliminate anything at all and it's not sustainable or enjoyable even trying. Just treat calories like a bank account, Doughnuts are expensive so if you have one you may have less to spend less at dinner.

OP don’t feel like your weight is a limiting factor to join the gym, it absolutely isn’t. Start slowly with a plan, get a PT if you can for advice.

The plan is essential so you don’t feel lost, people are there to exercise and staff will be there to help. The benefits for mental health are absolutely worth it.

I'm super overweight and have recently starting playing netball, it's a back to netball programme so very basic rules. I think the secret is to do exercise you enjoy. Swimming/ Zumba/ classes. Also you can get lots of free online workouts like Joe wicks on YouTube. He does 20 minute ones for people getting back into exercise. I think also building it up slowly and into a routine so it becomes second nature. It makes me feel so good to be exercising again!

Op

no brainer

you like slimming world and it’s clearly working!!

please do not abandon a mere month after starting

I am all for addressing mental health op

But in this instance - I think physical health has to take precedent

And i suspect mh will naturally improve

Could you take a month off going to meetings, don't weigh until the end of the month (at Boots) & see how well you're able to stick to SW on your own & see how you do without the weekly meetings?

if it doesn't work out well, go back.

No my mental health comes first, always. I would be incapable of doing anything at all otherwise.

I’m going to see if I can take a break and reset myself a bit.

Are you the poster who is BF, going to slimming world and calorie counting as well. It sounds familiar?

If you like Slimming World and that way of eating is working for you, then there's no reason you couldn't keep it up without going to the sessions. Mumsnet are very against Slimming World another low fat diets in favour of low carb diets, however the DIETFITS study found that over twelve months there was no significant difference in weight change between a healthy low-fat diet vs a healthy low-carbohydrate diet.

If I wanted to improve my health the two changes I would make would be reduce ultra-processed food (UPF) and aim to eat 30 different plants each week. There's some interesting research being done on UPFs; the podcast A Thorough Examination is very interesting listening. The 30 plants a week comes from a study finding that people who eat thirty different plants each week have a more diverse gut microbiome, which we are learning more anymore about how important that is. It sounds a lot, but grains, fruit, vegetables, herbs, spices, nuts seeds, beans, pulses all count.