Very overweight. what would you do?

[Labdo]

Hello.

im currently with slimming world, have been going for 4 weeks and have lost 7.5 pounds so far which I’m really pleased with.

However, I do have an eating disorder and I do feel that weighing every week might be not the best thing for me mentally. I now know the diet well enough to continue doing this alone (without counting syns, but just making healthier choices).

I would also like to implement a sustainable exercise program. The idea would be to not focus on the weight loss, but by how I feel, my body feeling healthier and my clothes getting smaller. My only obstacle is myself, I know I’m very lazy and I also have 2 children so by the time they are in bed I’m very tired.

I’m currently 17 stone and a size 18 and I would like to get back into a size 10. I am built like a fridge so I’ve never been slender but a size 10-12 had always looked nice on me.

My main goal I think now needs to be to work on the self hatred and self loathing, not in the number in the scale. I think if I feel happy and confident in myself then I will naturally just make better choices and I won’t binge and purge on junk food.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thankyou

I’m am doing all those things but not the same poster! Must be 2 of us.

Hello Labdo, well done on loseing the 7.5lbs you have lost so far. I have been 17 stone and got down to 9st 8lbs in a year. I did this by going on long walks with my dog every night, and doing cardio exercise for 1 hour a day every day. I really didnt like exercise at all in the begining but i started seeing the results on the scales every month. i could get up the stairs without getting out of breath my back, hips and knees didnt pain me. i would weight myself at the end of every month and i lost 7-11lbs consistently. i plateaued on the 8th month and then lost again 7-11lbs consistently for the following 4 months.
i was naturally lazy, but i would make myself exercise daily. put your favorite songs on or podcast, walk, jog or run, to get your body moving. You will feel the benifits straight away. find healthy food that you like and drink plenty of water.
Dont cheat on your healty eating plan, because you wont see the results every month. i did have 3 slip up myself in the year i had a toffee crisp one day and a fizzy drink another time and some crisps another time. I always got straight back on my heathy eating and exercise plan.
Treat yourself to shower/bath with your favorite shower gel. You need to look after your physical and mental health you will feel a lot better more or less straight away.
Also look up on youtube, lose it like lauren or louise's journey. They both youtubers that lost weight. i youtube weight loss inspiration stories to inspire me. Theres is a lot of hours in the day, find a time that suits you. i used to go for a run between 5pm and 6pm. it might be that you prefere mornings, or afternoons or late evening, find a time and stick with it. You can do it. Good luck xX

First, amazingly well done for taking back the control, OP.

Unless I have the wrong end of the stick I’m wondering whether some of the PPs May have missed some of the nuanced cues in your posts.

If you have the self-motivation, going to Boots monthly might not be a bad shout - at least initially while you kickstart your process. I recognise that group settings (or therapy), whilst immensely helpful for many looking for support with weight loss (or EDs) may not be for everyone - there is no one size fits all. Perhaps do consider some counselling (maybe CBT) if you haven’t already, though - Beat are an incredibly amazing source of info and will be able to point you in the right direction if you’d like that, so they might not be a bad first port of call.

Also, if you can try to take the plunge and get to the gym (though I absolutely hear and can understand your comments about wanting to wait), the confidence you may find you get from seeing small, and then incrementally bigger, successes in a structured programme pulled together by a supportive gym (and they 100% exist!) would hopefully spur you on and can also serve as positive influence as far as your eating goes - the whole process can be a real mind-set changer. It’ll be hard taking that leap of faith, no doubt, but what’s the worst that can happen? If you sign up for a short term trial to start with, just don’t join fully if you don’t think you’re ready or just don’t like it!

Well done you for your initial weight loss - keep it up!
The good thing about SW is the community aspect, having people to egg you on and stop you giving up. Especially if, as you say, you can get lazy. At SW you are accountable to the rest of your group and you want each other to do well. Could you go for the camaraderie but ask not to be weighed in front of everyone, but more subtly and perhaps the instructor writes it down instead of saying it to the whole class?
Keep going OP for a healthier future you for yourself and your family!

If binge eating is behind your weight gain, I would try and tackle that behaviour without worrying too much about the weight loss (which will follow). I found the Stop Binge Eating podcast by Kirsten Sarfde really helpful but if you can afford therapy that would be good too.

Ive lost a stone in a month using Saxenda, its been quite amazing, I have a very small appetite now so its been quite easy. I think the only way to loose weight is low calories, whether you do that by low carb, low fat or intermittent fasting, its all the same - lower calories. I'm basically doing the fast 800 with Saxenda making it painless. I'll do it for 2 months to get where I want to be and then I can manage the maintenance on my own. Exercise I do for health, but I don't find it helps me loose weight as it makes me hungry!

Thankyou so much for all your lovely advise. I’m going to try and build myself a plan and think a bit more about slimming world. I’m dreading weighing tomorrow as I’ve had a really bad week.

You ask what I would do and I will tell you but you are under no obligation to do the same!

3 years ago I discovered a book called Delay don't Deny, I found out about it on Mumsnet. I read the reviews on Amazon and then I listened to it on Audible. It literally changed my life. I was obese, I probably was close to type II diabetes. Anyway it worked for me!

Audible says it's something like a 4 hr read but actually about 2 hrs are the author reading out the scientific study references. I listened on a long car journey. Then I listened again with my mum and she started it too. We liked the author's voice reading it to us and it seemed less of an effort than to read the book ourselves!

Totally up to you whether you read or listen but it will explain why people put on weight again after slimming world, weight watchers etc. it all made perfect sense to me, the first week was hard but then it was fine as you get what they term appetite correction.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!!

You won't count syns? You mean very high calorie food? You're going to eat very high calorie food without counting or measuring in anyway? That doesn't sound like a good plan to be hornet.

I know you've got two kids so probably not possible, but can you go to a gym? I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter and noticing a massive difference with going to the gym. But it is costly and with kids not very good for time so maybe not suitable.

I haven't cut out food types either, I'm still eating carbs etc. I have cut out snacking though, that's helped a lot. I used to snack far too much, now if I want something, I'll have one and that's it, no more. It's too easy for me to eat a ton of chocolate 😂

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0017tcz

Try listening to this podcast on the BBC. It's about UPF (Ultra Processed Foods). It might help you.

Hi op! I'm in a similar position to you and I've learnt that long term change does not come from a place of self hatred. Working on your mental health comes first in my opinion. Waiting to loose weight before doing a, b and c is soul destroying. I try to focus on non scale victories such as loosing inches, a dress size and increasing daily amount of water, fruit and veg etc. If weekly weights are triggering for you then don't do them. Have you every had counselling for your eating disorder?

I'd get counselling and find a physical activity that I enjoy and set the time to do it regularly.

I used to do sw, I helped out on the desk.

There were people who came to the group each week, paid their money and took a seat without weighing in as they liked the support of group but only wanted to weigh monthly. Would that sound like something you'd like to do?

When I left the group I gained a lot of weight as I'd no weigh ins or nobody to hold me accountable. But I joined a gym and downloaded my fitness pal. Made sure I got my steps in and stuck to the calories and the weight fell off again.

Tbh (please don't take this the wrong way) someone that's 17 stone could have lost 7lb in one week easily at my group (water weight at the beginning but even after that they could average 4/5lb per week) so are you sure you're doing it right? (You say you're not counting syns)

I wish you every success in your weightloss journey and hope you get to where you want to be.

Hi Op, please reach out to your SW consultant, nobody wants you to feel bad, but the plan is helping you and going to the meetings, even if you don’t get told your weight, will help you accept that losing weight, a lot of weight, is a journey, and will feel better if you have supportive company around you.
There will be slip ups and bad weeks, that’s life. Accepting that and not letting it stop you is so much easier when you see others dealing with exactly that situation-you tgen have positive examples to model your behaviour and mindset on.

I’m trying to lose weight as well. Contrary to what we used to think, Noom recommends that you weight every day, to lose the fear of the scales.

I think by turning up and weighing yourself means you hold yourself accountable. It's so easy to pick up bad habits without realising it. If you're not tracking progress you won't know if it's working. Plus if you do have a bad week, you know you have and you can then put it behind you and start afresh that day.

I remember coming home from holiday and knowing I'd put a lot of weight on. I followed sw diet but didn't weigh for 2 months (I knew the program as I'd done it previously). I felt great in myself, but when I did eventually weigh myself I'd only lost 2lbs. I was devastated and it took me 2 years to start properly dieting again

If you're in England, the NHS run a 12 week weight loss course for free. I can't recommend it enough. Started May 5th at 16st9 and am now 14st13. Am 5'7.

Easy, healthy and no fads. They educate you properly about food.

Contact your GP or Google it.

Good luck OP!

I’ve no advice because I’m in the exact same boat myself (did seeing all the skinny minnies dresses for the recent heatwave make you feel crap too?) but do you mind me asking what height you are?

Feel free not to disclose, I’m just being nosey because I’m a bigger size than you but weigh 13st 5lb. I’m 5’4” and literally all my fat’s in my belly, my Mum says I look like Gru off despicable me😂 xx

having 2 children should be the reason why you can’t be lazy. Take them to the park after school, play spots with them, go for walks etc.
the busier you are the less chance you’ll get to eat.
Slimming world is a great start but long term it’s not the healthiest plan out there but it will help you to budge a good few stone. The rest has to come from you and if you’re not happy with weigh in, then ask your consultant to keep the results from you.

With the gym I talked myself into going and giving myself permission to do 20mins on cross trainer oe bike then leave. I did this 4 times a week then when felt better I stuck to 30mins on cross trainer or bike.

It didn't feel so bad and it was easy to fit 30 mins in and didnt feel daunting. I still go back to 30mins only if iv had a bad week or not felt I had enough time.

Im 5ft7. I am naturally heavy too which doesn’t help. When I was a size 8-10 I was still 13stone. I’m very wide, I have big shoulders, wrists, bones etc. I don’t look fat per se, just biiiig. I think my body wants to be 6ft 4!

SW was the same as any other diet for me. Just put it all back on again and more.

The notion of "free foods" isn't a healthy way to eat. Nor is all the processed food and "fat free"/"sugar free" chemicals that go with SW.

Intermittent fasting and low carb changed my life. Lost 6 stone and have kept it off for a year.

With SW it would be back on and more by now.

I agree with this. You need accountability - look how well you've done so far. Once a month at Boots isn't going to cut it at the outset. Before you know it it will be every 2 months and you'll be back to where you were. This is where you need to be getting into the swing of it.

I would also recommend counselling too.

I’ve applied for counselling but because I’m currently under perinatal care they won’t see me yet. Hopefully getting discharged soon though. As of next month I’m back to working 12 hour shifts 3 days a week so I’ll be eating less and moving more naturally anyway. With my husband shift pattern I don’t really get any chance to go to the gym but I’m going to try and fit some in where I can!