MIL giving baby coffee??

[kimberlyjx]

AIBU for addressing this issue myself if it happens again?

This has happened a couple of times now, MIL has decided it was a good idea to just give DS whatever she feels like regardless of what DH and I have to say.

I already highly dislike that when she's searching for DS teeth, she shoves her fingers in his mouth and searches for them on his gums (without previously washing hands) I know I may sound OTT but DS is 5 months old, and previously hospitalised for a bacterial infection, I think it's inappropriate and honestly quite ignorant to do this. I've mentioned loudly that I didn't want anyone doing this, not explicitly aiming it towards her, to avoid stress.

But now she's started to dip her fingers in whatever she's eating (most of which are harmless, such as mash & slightly mushed veggies) and feeding him. I just think it's not her place to do this, moreso without asking what we think?

The last straw was her dipping her finger in profiteroles cream and chocolate and giving it to him followed by coffee.

DH has seemed to say nothing about this whatsoever, so AIBU to speak up about this since he won't say anything if this happens again?

TIA

YANBU that’s taking the piss you need to have a firm word with her

This is absolutely not acceptable, it defies common sense. She really shouldn't be looking after a baby.

This is my new fave comment.

i mean this kindly,, backbone required,

someone pulled this shit on my youngest once - shoved fingers in mouth - they wer told instantly do not do this, my child my rules.

be firm and set boundaries now! else come weaning she will be giving your kid whole grapes

YANBU. I get irritated when my MIL says ‘let DD have a little taste’ of chocolate etc, but I know she would never actually try to do it.
And coffee?? WT actual F!?

Also what is the obsession with grandmas and teeth? Are they dying for the teeth to come so that we suffer the teething stage and get some kind of payback?

Christ. Sounds like she thinks she owns him and that he's some kind of doll she can experiment on. How revolting.

Wow you are patient OP. The first time she did this I would have snapped 'what are you doing?'

Doesn't matter how many kids she has raised this isn't her child he is your child and she needs to learn now that if she can't deal with that then she won't get to have as much time with her GC.

I'm a GP and have a granddaughter about a similar age, she loves biting my knuckles and she's really strong if I try pulling them out. I do follow family rules though and wouldn't do something I'd been told not to do.

Thank you so much for all your advice, I'm definitely going to have to tackle this head on and have a backbone and address this with her, whether she likes it or not!

Im a granny and this is totally gross. OP definitely say that no one sticks their fingers in his mouth so MIL definitely doesn't need to.

Also the feeding thing is so irritating. You get to decide what and when you feed your own baby!

Hopefully she will see that by you being honest with her about what you are and aren't comfortable with, it gives her a chance to get it right and so be trusted by her grandsons parents.

It's so important to me to feel that my children and children-In law trust me, so I insist that they tell me if there is anything they do/ don't want me to do. That way I know that I'm not merely being tolerated, but that they appreciate me being around. Hopefully your MIL will feel the same way.

Maybe say, 'MIL I feel like we are close enough that I can be really honest with you about something. As you are his granny so obviously going to be around lots I wanted to just mention that I'd rather you...'

Something like that might soften the blow enough for her to really take it on board?

Ugh. Same here. DFIL tried to give a bit of his ice lolly to one of the DTs the other week. They were 10 weeks old at the time. He was the same with DD - desperate to shove sugary foods in her for his own delight. Knob.

That is disgusting. She should not be sticking her fingers in anyone’s mouth—- would she object if you did it to her? I think so. Tell her you object on hygiene grounds.
Coffee makes my heart race so I haven’t drunk it for years, not sure if a tiny amount would affect a child.

I’m a grandma to 3, all born to sons of mine. I would never ever do anything of this nature. Nor would I do anything that is outside of the parents’ wishes. Put your foot down now and tell this silly woman that she does it your way or doesn’t see your child.

Fair enough if your GCs parents are comfy with this, but I have to ask why your knuckles are in her mouth in the first place? 😕

I have a 3mo and wouldn't be comfy with this.