MIL giving baby coffee??

[kimberlyjx]

AIBU for addressing this issue myself if it happens again?

This has happened a couple of times now, MIL has decided it was a good idea to just give DS whatever she feels like regardless of what DH and I have to say.

I already highly dislike that when she's searching for DS teeth, she shoves her fingers in his mouth and searches for them on his gums (without previously washing hands) I know I may sound OTT but DS is 5 months old, and previously hospitalised for a bacterial infection, I think it's inappropriate and honestly quite ignorant to do this. I've mentioned loudly that I didn't want anyone doing this, not explicitly aiming it towards her, to avoid stress.

But now she's started to dip her fingers in whatever she's eating (most of which are harmless, such as mash & slightly mushed veggies) and feeding him. I just think it's not her place to do this, moreso without asking what we think?

The last straw was her dipping her finger in profiteroles cream and chocolate and giving it to him followed by coffee.

DH has seemed to say nothing about this whatsoever, so AIBU to speak up about this since he won't say anything if this happens again?

TIA

The food isn’t really a massive issue if it’s not a big amount it’s the dirty fingers. I’d be fuming. Plus it’s not for her to do it.. tell her ‘please don’t do that it’s unhygienic and I’d rather you didn’t’. If she continues stop her having your child.

I’m voting for the 3 “do”s - love it!!

Me too. She does not sound like the sort of person who would respond to anything else?

None of what she is giving him is likely to cause serious harm, but the fingers alone would be enough for me to be pretty annoyed (and I’m a Mum who gave my wain milky tea from a baby and her her sucking on rusks at 5 months).
It’s pretty grim.

She needs to back off. MIL gave my 18 month old dd a can of coke in a darkened basement with the door bolted. That's how important she thought it was that she had coke.

During the same visit she put dd in the buggy and said 'I'm just going to get her ears pierced'.

We didn't get to decide what our baby ate first. We simply had a conversation with my Dad and step MIL over lunch about how he was turning 6 months that week so we were deciding what to give him first and before we knew it she'd wiped the balsamic off an avocado wedge off her salad and given it to him.

It disappeared in 2 seconds and we just sat open mouthed (not very me AT AL My Dad didn't even realise it had happened. I excused us for a nappy change and then made our excuses to leave.

Still annoys me to this day and he's 9 😠 Wish I'd reacted and stopped her but I was just so shocked.

I'm really glad I no longer speak to the mad, perpetually drunk biatch.

DEFO have words with her, Op. Her assumption that her way is the best way is just bollox.

Wow I would be livid enough to tell her to take her dirty hands out of my child's mouth. Regardless, how dare she just do something like that?! She needs to be put in her place. Speak up, it's these times that your child needs you to speak up for them!

During the same visit she put dd in the buggy and said 'I'm just going to get her ears pierced'.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

@ApricotSuite That is ... quite something, isn't it? What did you do?! I think I would have physically rugby-tackled her to the ground! She sounds insane.

Yes, I pretty much did rugby tackle her to the ground. Dh told her dd wasn't getting her ears pierced until she was old enough to decide for herself. She had pierced his ears when he was a toddler and he absolutely hates the marks n his ears.

She just seemed to think it was completely normal that she was going to take a baby that wasn't hers to be pierced.

I would be telling her that if she cannot follow my rules she doesn’t get to hold my baby.

You know you can never trust her with him, right?

Coffee and cream are completely unsuitable for a baby, knock that on the head.

Her fingers in his mouth are not really an issue; he no doubt puts his own fingers and toes in his mouth straight after touching who knows what. But tht's not the point.

Weaning method is your choice, on your terms not hers.

Now is the time to lay it on the line that in raising YOUR child it's "My way or the highway". If she ignores your wishes, she will be the loser because you won't leave the baby with her.

Tell the woman not to put her fingers in your babies mouth EVER.

Take the baby off her and tell you'll feed him yourself, and you'll tell her when he's got teeth, thanks. She is way overstepping the line. I wouldn't be letting her anywhere near him if there is food/drink around. It's not her place to do this but it won't stop until you or your DH do something to make it stop.

Truly gross.

It brings back mil wiping my childrens faces with a dishcloth 🤢. And moaning about car seats being ridiculous.

DH survived, well lucky him. My own mother was 😧

This would be perfect if you were dealing with a reasonable, respectful person, but a respectful person wouldn't be doing this to your baby in the first place. This little speech will get you exactly nowhere with her.

She's disgusting and batshit. Keep your baby away from her unless you're 100% supervising.

What sort of coffee? If we’re talking flat white YABU but double shot espresso different story x

My dm did this to my dd at a similar age with cream from a meringue.
Dd was allergic to the egg white and her mouth swelled up.
Seriously why do gp’s do this?

Tell your mil firmly not to put her fingers in ds’s mouth or you’ll stop visiting.

😂

Good advice

The type of coffee isn't even the point.

have you ever heard of decaf

God it made me angry reading this post. I'd be so annoyed.
It's unhygienic that she's shoving her hands in his mouth but feeding him those foods and coffee?!?! Coffee!!

Speak up.

Be firm and clear.

This would drive me mad.

What about tiramisu? That might be a better option.

I’ve seen tiramisu on kids menus before why not

a straight espresso from a nespresso machine, not a flat white or anything mixed with milk!!

I’ve seen tiramisu on kids menus before why not

Its a five month old baby 🤦🏻‍♀️

Some people will honestly argue against anything on here.