AIBU to have the ick over this?!

[AmIclutchingpearls]

Name changed as could be outing!

Out of the blue I have developed the dreaded 'ick' after being completely happy with my partner. No way am I considering ending the relationship but just interested if this would bother others or if I am totally overthinking.

So we both had sexual health checks and all clear, in an exclusive relationship etc. But recently after meeting friends for drinks, he got a tattoo from a woman in a bar using a kit she had with her and that she had used on herself and possibly others. I have no issue with tatoos but I'm really grossed out by the thought of how unhygienic this sounds and risk of hepatitis and other blood born diseases and it has made me question why on earth a grown man would do this and just generally feel icky.

I spoke to a close friend and she thinks I should just forget it. I don't want to make a problem in the relationship as things are great, but I don't want to put myself at risk and in my mind he has effectively shared a needle in a bar!

Am I thinking too much into this?

He is an absolute fucking idiot.

You're not over-thinking it at all. There is a reason that proper tattoo studios are sterilised, fresh needles are used for every client, tattoo artists wear gloves, and that they do not tattoo in people's homes and certainly not in a bloody bar. A proper tattoo artist will also never tattoo someone who's been drinking - not just because they're not in a position to make proper decisions, but also because it's not good to have alcohol in the bloodstream for that kind of procedure. So of course being tattooed while pissed by a random stranger using a dirty needle in a bar is absolutely fucking gross and has put him and by extension you at risk.

Even if that were not the case, though ... would you really want to be with someone who had such shitty impulse control? If he can do something like that for a laugh while pissed, what other risks is he taking that you don't know about? You only know about the tattoo because it's right there for you to see. I would be wondering what other stuff he was doing while drunk that doesn't come with lasting evidence...

Are you sure she didn't just open a new needle? It's very obvious whether someone opens a new clean needle and inserts it into the gun? If she did, no problem. If it's a needle that was already in the gun then he should do an HIV test and speak to his doctor about any other necessary tests.

Yes that would massively give me the ick... due to how stupid he is. Hate tattoos anyway.

Yeah, no that would put me off massively. Hate tattoos and someone who would take such a huge risk with his health, let alone your health, is not for me

I love tattoos. Well thought out, properly designed, professionally completed in a sterile environment tattoos. My husband has a lot, and has plans for more, but if he was this reckless with his, and by extension, my health I'd be livid and after he'd had all necessary health tests to ensure he was OK he'd be having the eyesore removed and covered. Thankfully, he's teetotal so I'm pretty sure I'm safe from this particular ick!

I love tattoos, but this is vile and makes me think your boyfriend must be thick as pig shit. I'd be very turned off by this, and definitely wouldn't want to stay together. Grim.

That's not the ick, that is realising that an adult still has the thought process of a 14 year old. Have you raised it with him and how uncomfortable it has made you.

YABBU, I'd be turned off too op, what was he thinking is he very young?

Thank you all, I feel less like a hysterical prude now!

I have had a chat with him and he does know the woman and said she used a new needle and wore gloves but it still isn't sitting right with me.

He is well into his 30's but I agree with pp that this seems something a teenager would do and he is otherwise not in any way childish so this has come as a shock. He sees no issue at all.

The friend I asked about it is usually very sensible so I was really suprised when she said she doesn't see any issue and in fact could imagine herself doing that! Made me question if I really am making a big deal over nothing (on my mind as I haven't made an issue of it with him........yet!)

The lady in question is not a tattoo artist and she used a home kit bought online 🙈

He has other tattoos that were done professionally and part of his explanation for this is that it is very simple (which it is) and that he will shortly be getting that area covered.

My issue isn't with the appearance, that's his choice but it just feels risky and grim to me!

There's so much more to hygiene that just using a new needle and gloves - please protect yourself and don't have unprotected sex with him for at least 6 months, and until he has the all clear.

…you really can see the issue with getting a tattoo off a random bar woman??

He is an absolute fucking idiot.

Could not agree with this more. No issue with tattoos, when done properly they look good. But he should have known better, especially since it is not his first.

It's very obvious whether someone opens a new clean needle and inserts it into the gun? If she did, no problem.

This is very bad advice, hepatitis is more of a risk than HIV and its highly transmissible.
There's almost no risk catching it from a clean machine in a clean studio.
www.verywellhealth.com/color-me-yellow-1759985

Stupidity isn't attractive.

Sorry OP, I just couldn't be with someone this fucking stupid.

People make mistakes, but this is just immature, wilful fuckwittery, and I could not share my life with that kind of stupid.

Are you sure she didn't just open a new needle? It's very obvious whether someone opens a new clean needle and inserts it into the gun? If she did, no problem.

Er ... it absolutely is a problem! She wasn't a tattoo artist, and she tattooed him randomly in a bar. So there were none of the hygiene precautions a tattoo artist would use. Proper tattoo artists sterilise the entire gun in an autoclave and only tattoo in clean environments. The risk isn't just from the needle itself.

Also, as she was a stranger in a bar, he had no idea whether the inks she used were safe. Cheap inks bought online can be really, really dodgy.

This was the kind of thing everyone was doing at house parties as teenagers. You'd expect him to have a bit more sense at 30

If it was a new needle then yes, you're being OTT.

I think an Ick is your gut instinct and you need to listen to it

I don't have tattoos, neither does my husband. I have no strong feelings either way on others, though not keen on them all over, sleeves etc.

But this is really, really unsafe. I think he needs a BBV test. What the hell was crossing his mind?

He sounds thick. Yanbu.

That screams very low impulse control.

I'd not be okay with that as a co-parent or financial partner.

What sort of bar lets amateur tattooists operate on drinkers? What other unsavoury activities go on there?

This is the kind of thing I did at 17. Really not on for a responsible adult to do something so stupid!