Is your home always 'guest ready'?

[Bigbonesmeatandgravy]

If someone drops by unexpectedly would you be happy to let them in or would you feel embarrassed about the state of it? My house is always a bit of a mess and I feel conscious of unexpected visitors more often not. Things like the bin needs emptying, crumbs on the floor, dishwasher needs loading, clothes strewn around randomly. I feel like I spend half my life tidying so it's not laziness, it just gets messy again straight away. I also have one spare room that is a dumping ground and such a mess at all times that I would be mortified if anyone entered it.I have 2 kids under 4 so that's my excuse! YABU My house is always visitor ready YANBU My house is rarely visitor readyAnd if your house is a bit of a mess, do you care what people think?

Yep. Pretty much.
We are a very social family though with lots of kids. We regularly have random children knocking on the door and I often have friends kids over and I host a lot too and have other families round with their kids.

I had a completely the opposite upbringing was an only child and never had people over. I hated it.

Anyone who calls in unexpectedly will always be invited in for a drink or food.

Oh and I would never judge a messy home. Filthy maybe a tiny bit.

She literally says they can’t allow ‘outsiders’ past the porch and into their ‘sanctuary.’ That’s not normal and it’s so unhealthy for kids. It promotes a fear of the normal outside world and interacting with people. I can’t be ‘understanding’ of that.

You really have the bit between your teeth here and you should perhaps think about backing off and leaving the poster alone.

To be fair I’d think they were both (man and woman) sloppy and messy. And if I visited a man’s home that was messy I’d judge him equally. It would be a big put off to me in a potential partner too if his home or car was messy and dirty.

Women are judged more socially. Not just in their homes but also in life. But in terms of a cluttered and dirty home I would judge the man and woman both.

@JellyBellyNelly

You are allowed to respond to any poster on any thread - it’s a public forum. And I was responding to a poster who had quoted me, explaining my feelings. If you think it’s normal to bring your children up to know that ‘outsiders’ can never be allowed in the home I guess that’s your opinion. Of course we can disagree. I personally think it’s really damaging and speaks of a fear of the outside world.

Hell no.

So much stuff everywhere 😑

That’s really quite warped. My mum didn’t allow people (our friends) in the house either and it wasn’t a good look and I deeply resented it. I vowed when I had children it would be open house and they could have their friends round whenever they liked. It gave me a huge thrill to see them with their friends in our house.

No, but that's because I live in London and people don't just drop in without warning/asking you first!

I don't disagree with you.

But you've also said it's childish to refer to your home as your sanctuary, and you've massively judged people who find life a struggle - calling them "utterly fucking miserable".

That's what I was referring to when I said you needed to dial back your judgement.

Don’t give me the ‘if you think it’s normal blah blah blah’ nonsense as a reply.

You go through threads like a bull in a china shop and take great delight trampling over the feelings of people you think are fair game.

Leave the poster alone.

Fair enough!

If you think I’m trampling on people feel free to report. Or maybe try to work for mumsnet if you think you can tell people what to do and they’ll immediately bow down. As it is you’re actually not in charge of the world and can’t order people around unfortunately.

And I didn’t call people ‘utterly fucking miserable’ I said I would be utterly fucking miserable if I lived a lifestyle where I considered anyone who didn’t live with me an ‘outsider’ and refused to admit them into my home, and literally ‘couldn’t see’ why anyone else would feel differently.

I genuinely think it's really worrying that someone is spoonfeeding their children worrying visions of the strangers beyond the door step. Children live in the world you make for them when they are young and have no experience of the world beyond that which the parent introduces them too. How scary and isolating the world must feel when everything outdoors is painted as menacing. Spare me the be kind trope, those children are being failed.

However I do understand that some must see their home that way and I will apologise if my phrasing was a bit ‘off.’ But I still think it’s a really unhealthy world view to be so frightened if the outside world - it’s not something to be bragging about online that you teach your kids such a misanthropic attitude.

And I didn’t call people ‘utterly fucking miserable’ I said I would be utterly fucking miserable if I lived a lifestyle where I considered anyone who didn’t live with me an ‘outsider’ and refused to admit them into my home, and literally ‘couldn’t see’ why anyone else would feel differently.

No, you didn't say that at all. Stop back-peddling.

You said "It makes me think you must be utterly fucking miserable that you feel the need to hide away in your ‘sanctuary.’ It’s like they’re terrified of everyday normal life."

Apologies, I thought you were talking about the post you had quoted, where I ended it with ‘I would be miserable.’ To be fair I do think it would be an utterly miserable existence telling your kids that ‘outsiders’ must never be allowed in the home and pushing that onto them. And I think if you genuinely can’t understand why anyone else wouldn’t feel that way you need to try to seek help for your kids’ sakes.

What a great philosophy to have. Given me some ideas thank you for the insight

It’s never that bad that I wouldn’t let someone in, but it’s also not a show home. That said I do have a cleaner now for the last 6 months since my friend started doing it. That’s a God send

@Lonelygal22 never mentioned enemies don’t put words into peoples mouths. I applaud people who set good clear boundaries when it comes to having privacy for their families. After reading your and some others responses I’ll be employing a closed door policy on my own house

Good on you for standing up for what’s right. I’ve seen a few posters (a few recognisable on this thread) that clearly have too much time on their hands and therefore root round to pick fights.

God no. It’s a pit.

I just have a tidiness gene missing i think.

We do have people round though of course! But there’s either a bit of tidying up to do or a lot of apologising for the mess 😂

I could maybe understand this conversation if the thread was titled 'Does your man make sure your home is always guest ready'

But it's not so.......