Partner Hiding Money???

[BlueBirdDiaries]

We have been together for 6 years. In the beginning we were both pretty poor. I being a full time student and him private renting and working in low paid positions. I paid for a lot once I was employed. Then he’s moved in with my parents and me. He doesn’t have to pay rent as my parents said we could save for our own property (his mother previously charged him £500 a months). He makes £2000 a month now. I make £1800 we now have a baby. I have a standing order into dd account and he says he can’t afford it. He complains about the cost of living. He has been saying he only has £2000 saved for the past few years. So where is all of his money going? Up until recently I was paying for groceries. Then I would leave myself flat broke with him having “no money”. He has. Is moved his money into an ISA which he’s unable to touch. So when we have a rainy day, how can we get through it if he’s locked his money away? Years ago I had £8000 saved in an ISA, we missed our flights in Bali and I paid for us both to return home. I had to draw money from my ISA. I now have no money in that account.

what’s your take on this? I want to ask him to leave but having a child together now will complicate things further. Advice?

If you are both earning good money why don't you move out ?

What does he pay for? Any bills? Groceries? Anything at all?

How old are you op?

Sorry but this does not make any sence to me
You had no money and in debt but paid for a new kitchen and paving new fence new washing machine for your parents?
But you claim you are in debt, that you
earn 1800 and give money to your partner every month
Not sure I believe any of this
If it is true then I apologise OP but it does not make sense to me

How can you be saving for a house of your own if you're paying to update your parents' house on less than £22,000? I can't see how you'll ever be out of debt or living independently. It seems like you've made quite a few poor decisions but there's nothing to be done about those now.

I can't make out if you love this guy, and see or want a future with him, or you're looking at staying with him because of your child. I think your first step is think how you view your future and work towards that plan. Your partner's on £24,000 so you're never going to get that much child support from him so I don't think money should be the driving force here. You really need to decide if he's the person you want to be in a loving and sharing relationship with. And take it from there.

Firstly you need to have a serious discussion with him about where his money is going? Could he be gambling? If he is earning 2k a month and not paying any rent, then he can not say he is skint, it makes no sense. If can't give you answers then discuss breaking up as I don't think he can be trusted in the future.

Why would you pay for a new kitchen for a property that you don't own ?
You wouldn't put a new kitchen into a rented property

It is time that you moved out if you are paying for so much for your parents

Move out with your child & claim child maintenance, Universal credit/child care
Or
Move out with your partner, but agree how you will split the finances first

Talk to your parents.
Tell them all this.
They can then either charge him and save the money for you to move out, or he will run away, in which case he owes child support.

How much is in his ISA? Saving in an ISA is a sensible thing to do - especially if it's a Lifetime ISA and the intention is to use the money in it as a house deposit.

But you both ought to be able to save, and he needs to start paying some rent to your parents.

What is he contributing OP? Is he paying for anything at all? Unbelievably selfish and spoilt of him.

Get rid and do a csa claim...

Thanks again. Just to respond.. I got the things for my parents on finance though loans which is where the debt came from. My partner and I got a 10k loan at one point for the garden and paid it off but since I’ve been doing it alone. He always brings it up.

we tried to claim insurance for the missed flights but company even after appeal did not pay out. As a result I now have insurance with my credit card company.

he earns £32,000 / year before tax and I a little less. We live in london and rent here is very high. Especially for a 2 bedroom property. I need my car for work but it’s also an added expense.

im 27 and he’s 30…

You took out a loan when you have no savings for your parents to get a new kitchen, paving and a fence.

you are in London, only 27 and earning a pretty meagre salary.

op - you need to seriously up the financial astuteness before your baby comes along. And the first task would be to start getting your ducks in order in terms of getting evidence of your partners finances

I can not get my head around your parents accepting thousands of pounds from you, on a loan! For home improvements

A few things stick out:

1. your partner is a prick. Not just the money but it’s clear he’s not a nice bloke.
2. No one in the scenario has any financial acumen.

You are supposed to be living with parents to save but end up in debt for kitchen and garden renovations?!

Your parents accepted this? It’s bizarre.

I suggest you get him gone, get child maintenance, get out of debt as a priority and then get saving.

Your salary isn’t ‘meagre’ as a PP said but it’s not enough to rent in London alone with a child without additional help.

Find out what you may be entitled to, get on the council housing list and make a plan.

don’t like line just happen to you.

Getting rid of the freeloader is a good start.

The council waiting lists in London are huge

You can look up the statistics per Borough
How many people on the list
The average waiting time

You would be better off moving out of London & commuting or finding jobs in your new location

I can understand your DP NOT wanting to pay for a new kitchen or garden for your parents, but he has been living rent FREE !

I would tell him you want back pay of what the rent should be and from now on he pays rent.

Or make him leave. If he is saving it's all for him. He has no intention of you two building a life together.

Your parents invited you to stay with them so you could save money for a house and instead they're letting you get into debt by taking out loans to do up their house and garden?
I am beyond understanding any of this.

You really need to write yourself a financial plan to examine the realities of ever getting yourself onto the housing ladder. Because the way you're going about it doesn't seem to hold much chance of success.

Yep me too. Gambling, drugs or something along those lines.

Another one confused about the situation with your parents. They told you to move in with them to save for deposit. And then either they asked for a new kitchen from you or you decided to gift them one? And you didn’t have the money so you went into debt. Did they know you were going into debt?

Sorry maybe not helpful but just confused.

On advice I’d say he’s clearly not being honest with you. He can’t be rent free and be skint. I’d worry that he was saving so he can have a nice life without you. If he were saving for a deposit together why wouldn’t he be forthcoming and keep you updated on savings.

This OP, her partner and her parents are like a case study in why so many people in this country are drowning in debt.
In part because life is expensive and inflation but also, very significantly, because they are utterly SHIT with money and prioritise holidays in Bali and new kitchens over sorting out their shit

I don't understand your trying to save up to move out but you brought your parents a new kitchen, a hoilday to Bali and paved their garden? What? Is this even a real thread?

Ask for his share of the flight money. He needs to pay your parents rent. Get a joint account for baby expenses.

Why on earth did you do that?! Anyway it all sounds very messy. I think you and your partner should move out and rent and start saving that way.

Sadly I suspect it is

just a case of a group of adults with bugger all financial sense